Preacher decides Homeless man in Florida should come live in Homeless shelter in NY

[ejpoeta]

Here is a question. At what point does one's responsibility for another person stop? I mean, just because a person is your 'father' does not make you responsible for them. And if that preacher had bothered to actually talk to anyone he might have found out that the con artist might have been selling him a bill of goods. But why bother doing that when buying him a bus ticket gets him out of their hair and out of the state of Florida's hair.

Sure, how cold can I be. I claim to be a democrat right? After all, this is my husband's father after all. It makes sense for this preacher to send this man to where his kids are. If he sends him here then we'll just HAVE to take him in, right? I mean, what could it hurt!! Well, as I stated earlier, if he had bothered to call anyone to ask he might have found out that this man is a drug addict and an alcoholic who uses people. He stole from his own mother who lives on social security. He did drug deals in her back yard without any regard for what could happen if he were busted in her back yard to her or her partner or her other son who is mentally disabled. Because he doesn't CARE about anyone else but himself. He never has and he never will.

As soon as he got up here he called my husband's cell phone and left a message. Not hey how are you doing. Nothing like that. It was, i need a ride to medina. He never has called unless he needed money. Or needed something. Because he is a taker. He thinks his kids owe him. He thinks everyone owes him. When I met bob he and his brother were living with their parents in a shack and working and paying the bills. And it wasn't enough. They bought their cigarettes too.

When bob's parents moved to Florida, tom and bob were both free to live their lives. They moved on. They were out from under their father's thumb. Bob had told me of his childhood. His father was a dry drunk. Bob's father wasn't there for anything. Bob walked home from swim practice in winter while his father sat at home. No one even showed up to Bob's graduation.

We went down to Florida after his dad had a stroke a few years ago. Bob gave him the opportunity at that time to have a relationship with his grandkids if he got clean. He acted like that was what he wanted until it came time to actually do it. Bob accepted that. He had made his peace with it. But there was no way this man can be around our family when he is drunk and doing drugs like that. And he has no interest in changing.

And he hasn't changed even now. Even now that he has lost a leg. Even now that he has had a stroke. And this preacher sent him up here as if somehow we should have to take care of him when he has done nothing but take from his family. Taken from his mother. Taken from his kids. Taken from everyone he has ever come in contact with.

This has been my fear, frankly. That he would show up on our doorstep. What would I do. Bob has told me to call the police if he shows up here. I can feel the anxiety building up inside me at the thought of it. I have thought of it before, but in the abstract. Never as if he actually would show up here. And this preacher went and involved himself in this. He was more than welcome to take care of Tom Sr himself.

I know this sounds rambling. This sounds stupid maybe. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Who sends someone to live in a homeless shelter in another state? I could see if he had some home somewhere that accommodated amputees or something, but it just makes no sense unless he thinks once he's here we just HAVE to take him in. Did sr sell him this bill of goods about his kids? Because I can tell you that Bob's brother hasn't spoken to their dad in years. He refused to even answer the phone to talk to him. And I don't blame him one bit.

Bob would talk to him to be polite. We went down to visit bob's grandma when my oldest was about 2 and saw tom and carol (bob's parents) then. Emily ran screaming the other way. She has never reacted that way towards anyone before or since then. They looked like skin and bones. Tom looked like Ozzy honestly. Drugs and alcohol. Carol died mysteriously by falling into a fire a few years ago.

OK. I am done venting now. Thanks for lending me your ear for a few minutes. I have started and stopped this a few times since yesterday. I am so mad!! I have no problem helping people either. But this guy.... that's another story. If bob wanted to help him.... I don't know. Having him around the kids is an issue. I wish I could cart him back to that darned preacher that's for sure. grr!!

[d_r]

1. hey

sounds like he is used to manipulating people, and found a preacher he could work. Who knows what he told him. Hang in there.

[surrealAmerican]

2. It seem likely that the preacher ...

... was just trying to get rid of him, and he succeeded to. I doubt he cared anything about whether anybody would take care of him.

[xfundy]

3. The "religious" love to screw with others' lives.

The fact that Jesus is their Personal Shopper gives them ALL kinds of license to mess with any aspect of anyone else's existence. I speak from experience; my sister decided to "help" me when I was incapacitated, and ended up helping herself to my belongings while taking or destroying nearly everything I had worked for years to achieve. Everything.

[ejpoeta]

5. sorry to hear that. my sister's in law's did the same thing to their own mother.

they claimed to be religious also. went in and took her things and had her signing over stuff and everything. I am amazed at what people will do to their own family. It is shameful. I am sorry your sister did that to you. I believe in karma myself and in what goes around come around.

[CanonRay]

4. A bus ticket back sounds like a good idea

[ejpoeta]

6. great. bob called me to say that his cousin wants to come over to talk to him

about it. so Sr has gotten ahold of the number at bob's cousin's shop and they've decided to get in the middle of this. If they want to go cart him around that's all fine and good. I am sure they don't want to do that. But they'll come around here and stick their nose in as if they have a right to. I am sick of people involving themselves in things like this. Bob says he is going to have a talk with his cousins now... the whole lot of them. Put a stop to this once and for all.