Rick Santorum: Marriage Is Like a Napkin, Not a Paper Towel

[William769]

Rick Santorum tried again to explain why gays shouldn't be allowed to get married, and this time he went all "metaphysical."

The San Francisco Chroniclecaught the moment on tape as Santorum stood before a small gathering of Iowans at a Hy-Vee grocery store, where customers filled drink cups and went on about their business while he spoke. The former Pennsylvania senator needed to get the voters' attention.

"This," he said suddenly, "is a napkin."

Santorum appears to yank a brown piece of paper, which might very well be a napkin, from a nearby dispenser.

http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/08/09/Rick_Santorum__Marriage_Is_Like_a_Napkin,_Not_a_Paper_Towel/

Make sure to watch the video at the link.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. Hey Ricky, you're so fine . . .

This paper towel's a friend of mine

[Enrique]

2. I call them both Santorum-rags

and i always have plenty on hand.

[AndyTiedye]

18. I Thought That Term Was For Toilet Paper

[BackToThe60s]

3. Bachmann-Santorum '12

Obama's reelection would be guaranteed.....provided we could stop laughing long enough to actually go out and vote. :rofl:

[liberal_mama]

28. That would be a great ticket! For us Dems, LOL

Imagine the debates!

[SusanaMontana41]

30. Welcome to DU, BackToThe60s and liberal_mama!

:hi:

[Evasporque]

38. Zombie Ticket! 2012!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VvWQp_OOM8s/TUqoHL3wQRI/AAAAAAAABRw/2rPz6YmSY0E/s1600/MICHELE-BACHMANN-CRAZY+EYESarge300.jpg

YAAARGLE?------------------------------------------------------BARGLE!


----------------------BLAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH---------------------------

[hedgehog]

42. Don't count on it - we'll have to hustle twice as hard as we did in 2008!

[Contrary1]

4. What an idiot...

And, by his own definition; just because he calls himself "correct" doesn't make it so.

From all the talking in the background, I take it this wasn't a captive audience.

Oh, and... :rofl:

[Botany]

5. He sure is frothy

Marriage Is Like a Napkin :rofl:

Santorum said his reasoning was "sort of the metaphysical

[SusanaMontana41]

32. Frothy indeed! Well, he didn't say what kind of napkin.

That leaves it open to the sanitary variety ...

[smirkymonkey]

40. What a moron! I have never heard such a stupid argument on

any topic in my life. As far as being metaphysical....:freak:

[PCIntern]

6. He's put on a lot of weight...nervous eating, perhaps?

typical pseudo-Pennsylvanian...sanctimonious and stupid.

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. I'm never getting married if I can't have a marriage that's just like Brawny paper towels.

[Contrary1]

13. Actually, my first choice would be Bounty Select -A-Size...

I never know what kind of mood I'm gonna be in.

[chill_wind]

14. LOL! :-)

:thumbsup:

[Gidney N Cloyd]

16. The "Quicker Picker Upper"? You need a very understanding wife.

[Bryn]

33. You wouldn't want marriage like Brawny paper towels...

That's made by Koch Brothers

[Fire Walk With Me]

34. Then I'll take Kleenex instead!

[LynneSin]

37. Just so you know the Brawny Guy is gay

That hair and those teeth are the giveaway even if he is wearing a flannel shirt.

Plus he spends alot of time in the Gym.

[Fire Walk With Me]

39. He's a lumberjack and he's okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

[csziggy]

43. And he's OK!

http://youtu.be/5zey8567bcg

[Solly Mack]

8. This is an idiot.

[NeedleCast]

9. He's Like My Local Crazy Dude

Just standing in the street, ranting to no one in particular, as the world continues on about him. Love the dude who goes and fills up his soda and munches away on his lunch in the background.

[Danger Mouse]

10. And this, Mr. Santorum, is toilet paper...

...which goes well with the kind of stuff you spew.

[Mimosa]

11. Be sure to click:

http://spreadingsantorum.com/

[Fuzz]

12. The dude's deep man. I'd love to get with that guy.

;)

[shraby]

15. I'd like to ask him how many homosexuals and people with

no sex does God have to create before he decides that maybe God is trying to tell him something.

[democrank]

17. gag

[Behind the Aegis]

19. "No one can be heard on the tape in response. "

So they edited it out the uproarious laughter? I feel cheated!

[Sal Minella]

20. Is this like Reverend Moon's Holy Marriage Napkin?

I guess that was a Holy Marriage Handkerchief.

I keep getting the religious thingies all mixed up.

Like, raping pre-pubescent girls may actually get you a jail sentence, but raping pre-pubescent boys gets you a cushy gig at the Vatican.

[TalkingDog]

21. So.... So...Marriage is a Napkin and ... and ...you clean Santorum with it?

...Is that what you are getting at?


I'm confused.

[demigoddess]

22. this guy sets a whole new standard for stupid, really stupid

What does he equate divorce with??

[ohheckyeah]

31. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser of course. n/t

[Dappleganger]

23. Geez, even Forest Gump did it better!

[spanone]

24. santorum is a hoot....comedy when the presidency thingy fails

[ThoughtCriminal]

25. Paper Towels... Are a series of tubes...

:dunce:

[tblue37]

26. He talks to people as though they are slow--but maybe it is just that HE is slow. nt

[eridani]

27. Either, when used correctly, can get rid of santorum n/t

[Rex]

29. That must be code to his fucking ratshit insane followers.

Somewhere, a thousand Bachmann followers ears just perked up and took notice. They hear things we normal people cannot.



Actually looking for one of their stores I found them online and not a mention of tuxedos or a place or area to sell them BUT I wiki'd them and found something very interesting toward the bottom of the page.

"Shortly after same-sex marriage became legal in Iowa, Hy-Vee expanded their spousal benefits to include gay couples. The new policy was implemented on all Hy-Vee stores, even in states such as Nebraska, South Dakota, Kansas, and Missouri that do not protect gay individuals. This action has made Hy-Vee one of the most gay-friendly companies in the Midwest."

HA! EAT THAT FROTHY MAN!

I wonder if Handjob Man even knows that?

[LeftishBrit]

35. Considering that both are generally thrown away or recycled after use

I am not sure that's such a good metaphor for marriage!

[Evasporque]

36. paper towels are used to wipe up santorum....nt

[smirkymonkey]

41. I tend to use napkins, they're cheaper. n/t

[Monk06]

44. Santorum reminds me of Steve Carell as Brick Tamland in Anchorman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3Sb5LS9t1w

[yellowcanine]

45. I am confused Rick. Is "Man on Dog" a napkin or a paper towel?

:rofl:

[yellowcanine]

46. How about a baby wipe? Where does that fit in?

[Gormy Cuss]

47. It's an asswipe, just like Santorum. n/t

[surrealAmerican]

48. There's something about that man that's just not right.

I suppose he was trying to sound "intelligent". He never can succeed at that.

[yellowcanine]

49. Which works better cleaning up santorum, Ricky? Napkin or paper towel?