Local Man Arrested for Merchandise Tampering at Area Walmart

[TalkingDog]

http://www.countrycalifornia.com/local-man-arrested-for-merchandise-tampering-at-area-walmart/

Johnston walked over to Spears and asked if he’d decided not to make the massive music purchase. Spears responded “Yeah, yeah uh, yes ma’am” and began sweating profusely. He became spooked shortly afterwards and haphazardly threw the remainder of his CDs on the shelf before walking away. Johnston investigated the country section and noticed that it was full of unwrapped, well-worn CDs that Spears had apparently brought from his home. Spears was apprehended by security, mostly without incident, before leaving the store.

“I looked on the shelf and where Rascal Flatts was supposed to be, that scruffy looking man had put Flatt & Smugs or something like that… and where Taylor Swift had been, he’d replaced it with Tanya Tucker. I guess he’d stole all them new CDs and tried to replace ‘em with his old junk,” said a perplexed Johnston.

Fresh out on bail, Mr. Spears had a far different story. “I didn’t shoplift nothin’. I told the cops they could find all that country pop bullsh*t in the Rubbermaid garbage cans in home wares… where that crap belongs,” said Spears. “I was just trying to give the people around here some damn culture, so I brought my whole collection up here to give away for free. Of course, I’ve got it all ripped on my laptop. My alphabetizing skills might be lacking, but I ain’t stupid.”

“Can you believe they didn’t have a Jerry Reed CD in the whole god***n store?” he continued. “Well, for 15 shining minutes last Friday night, they did.”



/snip

I feel your pain brotha' man....

[louis-t]

1. Well, there's 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

:banghead:

[elocs]

2. Posted here earlier this afternoon:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1732346

[TalkingDog]

13. Thank you.

I look for stories before I post, but didn't see this one.

for some reason my Google search of DU doesn't work.

[Hugabear]

3. He does have a valid point

Much of today's pop music, whether it be country, rock, hip-hop, etc is nothing but mass-produced corporate garbage.

[tularetom]

4. Well, sorta...

You have a point but Jerry Reed? WTF?

Gimme a break. George Jones, Merle Haggard, Hank Williams, Ernest Tubb - absolutely. But Jerry effin Reed? No way.

[CBGLuthier]

9. And what exactly is wrong with Jerry Reed?

If he was good enough for Chet Atkins he was certainly good enough for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni8KBhnebwE

[TalkingDog]

12. Jerry Reed is still a major inflluence on many, many guitarists.

He was a big time session player before he became a Personality. And I agree, to a certain extent, his Music Persona, wasn't quite as polished as it could have been. But the man was an incredibly talented guitarist.

Ignore his Persona and just listen to his playing....

[whistler162]

18. Just Jerry Reed should earn the guy life with out parole....

;}

[frylock]

5. this man is a HERO!

"I told the cops they could find all that country pop bullsh*t in the Rubbermaid garbage cans in home wares… where that crap belongs.”

[voteearlyvoteoften]

6. Love it!

[onethatcares]

7. he clearly wasn't shoplifting.

I don't know what they call it if you bring things into a store and leave them for someone to have.

[lame54]

14. shopputting

[frylock]

8. i posted this on facebook. a friend of mine just contacted mr. spears..

and will be handling his case, pro bono.

[TalkingDog]

10. Your friend and you, sir, are awesome!

Tell him thanks a trillion!

[ZombieHorde]

11. Country music should be thrown away, and those who make it should be

kicked in the shin.

[Lyric]

15. Um, guys? This article is SATIRE. Not real. Look at the disclaimer at the bottom.

:shrug:

[pintobean]

16. That makes

post #8 quite amusing.

[TalkingDog]

17. Could still work out for everybody.

n/t