Federal Filing of the Day: Nebraska Man Says He Left Baylor With GPS Sewn in Armpit

[meegbear]

The following is an excerpt from the Beat poetry of Michael Woolman of Lincoln, Nebraska, available in a complaint filed in Dallas federal court yesterday. He claims he checked in to Baylor for tonsil and sinus surgery, and left with an unexpected gift. Punctuation and spelling remain unchanged.

I was in ,"The Room after ,surgery& I needed ,to go to the bathroom .
I got up and a nurse assisted me to ,the bathroom.
I was going to the bathroom and , I finished.
All a sudden ,My cloth started falling off, I tried to pull ,my cloths up and ,,
My arm pit was bloody, Well I thought nothing of it, at the time.
Well , I came in for a since & noise surgery,? Why is my arm pit bloody ??????
Now after ,knowing ,what Bryan LGH was doing IS
Trying a new way to track people,
By inserting a GPS Device in people, Illegally.

You can read the rest of his "proactclaimatipon" at the link below.

http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2011/08/federal_filing_of_the_day_nebr.php#more

[SpiralHawk]

1. Sounds like he checked into Bryan LGH, not Baylor...

the rest is pretty garbled -- dude needs Remedial Poetry 101.

You know: "June, Moon, spoon, prune, republicon goon...etc. etc."

Beyond that, if they really did rig him up with GPS unwittingly and unwillingly, then Holy Shit...

[JohnnyLib2]

2. And now he has to die.

Shhhhhh.

[hobbit709]

3. sounds like mental evaluation time.

And if that is an example of his poetry-it sucks.

[Ter]

4. What battery could possibly operate an internal GPS for more than a day or two?

You gotta figure the GPS would be the size of a quarter. With location turned on, it'll run out of power fast. The technology doesn't exist to do this - yet.