adigal
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 10:58 AM
Original message |
Could you be married to a conservative?? How about friends?? |
|
I have found myself to be totally intolerant of conservatives, and have lost numerous friends over this. I feel that as a liberal, I should be compassionate and understanding that others have their own paths and points of view. It is just that the stakes are so high nowadays, with so many of my friends suffering financially, while many of my older friends and family blithely go through life, not feeling the effects of the economy, and not really knowing anyone who does.
My parents consider themselves strong Catholics, yet my mother told me that if she had to wait a few months for an optional surgery, such as a knee replacement, in order to make sure that all Americans get health care, she would be against everyone having health care. What the heck?? What kind of Catholic believes that?? When I get confrontational, and ask her, What would Jesus say? it goes downhill. So I shut up around her. But friends, or a husband? I am in control as to who I associate with, and I cannot abide conservative friends anymore.
I know I should not feel this way, but it is a gut reaction. Anyone else have this experience???
|
JustAnotherGen
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:01 AM
Response to Original message |
|
My few friends that are Conservatives? They worship at the altar of Eisenhower. These are people that have an overwhelming need for common sense and America working as one. We tend to disagree on HOW to get America back to prosperity (the details that is) but they are very much in favor of returning the tax rates BACK to the Eisenhower era, ALL Americans have equal access to education, housing, etc. etc.
What's missing on the right today? These voices.
|
TwilightGardener
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:04 AM
Response to Original message |
2. I don't see how it work work, long-term. My husband is an independent, but |
|
is fairly progressive. He thinks the Dem party is weak tea and doesn't want to be a part of it, but still generally votes "D". Being with someone who is intolerant, selfish, greedy, and easily frightened just isn't my bag.
|
no_hypocrisy
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:06 AM
Response to Original message |
3. Not likely as I use the example of my parents to remind me of how they argued most of the time. |
|
My mother was the kind of democrat who never got over Adlai Stevenson losing in '52 and '56. My father thought Nixon was the greatest. Their liberal and conservative clashes leeched into how to discipline the children, how to vote, interpretation of the news, etc. They argued as a form of communication and I hated it.
I'm involved now with someone who not only is a liberal, but a progressive and it feels just right to me.
|
RZM
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:06 AM
Response to Original message |
|
You shouldn't let politics raise the stakes in your personal life. It's cool to argue and debate with friends and family about politics, but you should make sure the arguments are in good faith and that there aren't any hard feelings when it's over. Some people are better at this than others, of course. I see no reason to miss out on connecting with people because they disagree with me. There's a whole lot more to life than ideology and if you let ideology determine your private associations, you are probably missing out on some wonderful experiences.
|
adigal
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
39. You have the wisdom I am missing! |
|
I do try, just haven't gotten there yet.
|
jtrockville
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:06 AM
Response to Original message |
5. I'm becoming less and less tolerant. |
|
More and more, I see greed and selfishness at the root of conservative thinking. It's nearly impossible for me to tolerate those attitudes from anyone I'd call a friend.
|
ChazII
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
22. Selfishness is a horrid quality. |
|
Like many here, it is the one thing I also refuse to tolerate.
|
distantearlywarning
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:07 AM
Response to Original message |
6. I have a few friends who are conservative. |
|
Edited on Thu Sep-29-11 11:17 AM by distantearlywarning
But without exception, they are the more sensible economic conservative types. They can discuss things without resorting to calling people with a different viewpoint "faggots" and "socialists". They have somehow managed to dodge the religious craziness bullet and don't care too much about the social conservative side of things. We actually get along pretty well and learn things from one another.
I seriously doubt I could have any of the "fundie" types in my life. I can't stand that degree of irrationality. Once extreme religion gets in the picture it's pretty much impossible to have any kind of reasonable dialogue with a person. What kind of answer can ever be made to the statement, "God says so!"?
My parents are basically atheist libertarians, and we get along great. The last conversation we had about politics was right before the 2008 elections, and he said (paraphrased), "McCain is ok, but I have to vote for Obama this time, not because I like him so much, but because this country just can't take a chance that that horrible woman Sarah Palin might end up president. We just can't have anybody like *that* in the White House." (By "like that", he meant dumb as a bag of hammers and religiously insane.)\
On Edit: I also wanted to say that the friends I described above have really been struggling over the last few years to identify with any candidate on the right. One I'm thinking of in particular really seriously considered voting for Obama in 2008, again because of the Sarah Palin issue. I think she ended up finally holding her nose and going with McCain, but she wasn't happy about it. And she has had nothing but scathing commentary for literally every possible candidate this time around and has also mentioned a few times her dismay that she may not have anyone she feels comfortable casting a ballot for in 2012. The right has gone so far off the rails in this country that they are leaving voters like my friend behind in the dust. And I think there are more of them out there like my friend than people think.
|
Erose999
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:09 AM
Response to Original message |
7. I dated a conservative once. The angry sex was great... |
|
her constant griping about minorities and poor people, not so much. Not to mention that if we were ever in close proximity with anyone she felt threatened by (see also: minorities, poor people) she would unsnap the mace on her keychain and hold it in her hand... even as she carried on friendly conversation with them.
|
newspeak
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:38 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
24. the few friends I have who are conservatives, well |
|
we don't talk about politics much. My one friend during the gore-* race kept saying "gore is a liar." She got that from her telly which was repeated so many times that she became a telly zombie. I asked her what he lied about and she said one of the things was the internet. I told her he never stated he invented the internet and she could see proof what he stated. Nope, still gore is a liar.
Because of the characteristics of many repugs, I really could never marry one. I really am not into bullies or those who have little curiosity, just regurgitating what they hear from their favorite bully talking head. To me, anyone who must shout and drown out the opposition has already lost the debate.
|
calendargirl
(85 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:11 AM
Response to Original message |
|
I only associate with people who look, think and conduct their lives exactly as I do my own. Why bother with the other 99.9999999999% of the population? @@
|
Cirque du So-What
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
|
Edited on Thu Sep-29-11 11:41 AM by Cirque du So-What
A cursory glance around DU *should* tell you that people hold a vast array of opinions and viewpoints. How that gets distorted into 'exactly the same as me,' I'll never know. I think that if you were being honest with yourself, you'd have to admit that over 50% of the population falls outside the category of right-wing and that, if you decided to stop associating with those mental munchkins altogether, you'd never get lonely.
|
calendargirl
(85 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
31. I have friends of all political persuasions. |
|
I like it that way. I value diversity of thought and opinion. There is no 100% right or wrong, and Republicans are not inherently evil. But hey, that's just me.
|
RandomKoolzip
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
50. If Repubs aren't inherently evil, why do they keep acting as if they are? |
Cirque du So-What
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
55. What's so good about conservatism? |
|
You're so eager to defend its tenets, well, here's your opportunity to prove it's not 100% wrong. Of course, we're still at 0%...
|
Contrary1
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
63. Every single conservative I know is either on welfare themselves, |
|
has grown children on welfare...or both.
What does that make them? Oh yeah, hypocrites, but not inherently evil ones.
|
calendargirl
(85 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #63 |
80. Every single one? Seriously? |
|
You must not know many conservatives.
|
Lucinda
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:04 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
MADem
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:16 AM
Response to Original message |
9. I have friends who are conservatives, but they weren't when we were young |
|
I also have "a" conservative relative, rather like the Alex Keaton of the family.
I just avoid politics on the rare occasions I'm around them. It's not worth fighting over. If they try to bring it up, I refuse to engage or tease them a bit about their liberal pasts, and switch topics--I have never had any trouble re-routing the conversations, because they are actually real friends, not acquaintances. We simply respect each others' spaces/differences and acknowledge that there are some gulfs that are unlikely to be crosed.
Your mother sounds like she likes to push your buttons. Don't confront. Be pleasantly snarky when you can point out how very Christ-like a policy or person is. The best way to get under the skin of a noodge is to be irritatingly sunny.
If you're married to a conservative, I don't know what to tell you. I don't think I could do it; you've got to have a haven somewhere! The Carville-Matlin team manages it though, so I guess it can be done.
|
raccoon
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:17 AM
Response to Original message |
10. (1) Not unless we lived in different cities. (2) Avoid lots of topics when around them. nt |
EC
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:20 AM
Response to Original message |
11. Friends and relatives I can deal, |
|
but I don't trust their judgment, nor would I ever rely on them for anything. So, since marriage requires a trust in judgment, a marriage or romance would NEVER happen.
|
Frustratedlady
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:21 AM
Response to Original message |
12. No. I am no longer tolerant enough to coexist with one and be happy. |
|
I am so thoroughly disgusted and could never hide it. I've lost some friends, as a result, but at least I can live with myself.
I grew up in a Republican household, but it wasn't THIS Republican party.
|
HughBeaumont
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:21 AM
Response to Original message |
13. I couldn't do it. Wife's a social worker and a union steward. |
|
On economic and labor issues, it would pretty much conflict with everything I believe is fair.
She has a friend who married a millionaire's kid. The millionaire's kid is, of course, in a high place in the millionaire's company. He calls himself a "Ron Paul Libertarian", but he's pretty much an anti-war Republican (On economic issues, you might as well liken him to Bewsh 43) who wants his weed legal and his business unregulated and untaxed.
I just cannot talk to people who try to intellectually justify failure.
|
Cali_Democrat
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:22 AM
Response to Original message |
14. I have some conservative friends |
|
We're always going at it when we're drinking...verbally of course :)
|
DLine
(167 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:22 AM
Response to Original message |
15. I have several conservative friends |
|
All are different types. Some are good people who have simply fallen for the Fox News Republican propaganda and I think could be shown the light. Others are fiscal conservatives who don't much care for the social conservative agenda themselves. But a couple are like shiia conservative and while I call them friends and believe they are good people, they are so far to the right over in Glenn Beck and Michael Weiner Savage land that there isnt much use talking to them about politics anymore.
|
KamaAina
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:22 AM
Response to Original message |
16. Married? Doubt it. Friends? Well, there's Republican Stepdad |
|
Edited on Thu Sep-29-11 11:23 AM by KamaAina
actually a pretty good guy, and he treats Mom (rightly) like a goddess.
Of course, R.S. isn't your typical repuke; he can't abide televangelists or teabaggers, doesn't watch Faux, and doesn't appear to be a racist (although the homophobia does tend to pop up now and again :grr: ).
edit: as for marriage, I am desperate enough that it might be worth a try. Any of you trolls out there want to take me up on that? :-)
|
ingac70
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:24 AM
Response to Original message |
17. My brother's boyfriend is Conservative! |
|
He's the only conservative I'll intentionally spend time with, but I rag on him hard.
|
tomg
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:25 AM
Response to Original message |
18. Married to a conservative. That, for |
|
Me, would be like dental flossing with barbed wire. Friends are a different matter. I have two friends who are conservative. Were they racist, homophobic, sexist, anti-immigrant, I would not be friends with them. It is simply in some areas, they are idiotic at political math. That is, they add 1 + 1 and keep coming up with every other answer but 2 . They really don't see that how they vote is at odds with what they believe.
|
Xithras
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:26 AM
Response to Original message |
19. I have quite a few Republican friends, but I've also cut quite a few off. |
|
It really depends on their personalities. I have friends, including one very good friend, who are conservatives, and we simply don't talk politics. Or when we do, we keep it civil and try not to argue.
I had other friends, including some who drank the Tea, who became almost evangelistic about politics, saw dissent as heresy, and wouldn't give up on trying to "save" me. They were cut off. To their credit, most of my remaining conservative friends also cut them off too (apparently teabaggers bug the shit out of more traditional conservatives too).
|
demosincebirth
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:27 AM
Response to Original message |
20. A strong Catholic and good catholic can be polar opposites Put me |
|
in there with trying to be a "good catholic." If I were you, I would recommend them to read Matthew 25 and the Sermon on the Mount and see what they what they think. These are two readings in the bible that many so-called Christians, conveniently, skip or overlook.
|
kiranon
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:31 AM
Response to Original message |
21. Friends/relatives - yes, significant other/spouse - no. |
|
Could not be married to a conservative Republican.
|
TorchTheWitch
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:37 AM
Response to Original message |
23. No - I'm very particular about who I let into my life |
|
I've long discovered that's it's far better to be alone than pollute your life with unworthy people. Family you're stuck with pretty much, but friends and significant others are chosen and aren't going to be a part of my life if their attitudes about people, animals, nature and society are repugnant to me... and conservatism is an attitude of selfishness and greed lacking in empathy and compassion all of which is repugnant to me. Conservatism and liberalism aren't just about politics... it's an attitude that makes up a person's general character, and those people that have repugnant character traits such as conservatism are not the sort of people worthy of being in my personal world.
|
Nuclear Unicorn
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:46 AM
Response to Original message |
26. I married a conservative and we're very happy |
|
When his conservative, born-again mother passed away I cried. She was a beautiful woman on so many levels.
Making people conform to you isn't love, it's pure egotism. Using politics to hide it doesn't make it any better.
|
seabeyond
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:49 AM
Response to Original message |
27. all my family and most of husbands family conservatives. my husband is conservative |
|
though he voted kerry and obama. inlaws won't vote cause they cant support repugs and can't vote dem. father voted for obama but wont happen again, he is disappointed. that being said
i love them all. all of them are good, loving, kind, smart, people. so yes
i could marry a repug. i could have friends that are repug.... (every person i know in this area so if i want a friend), and i can love my family members that are repugs
|
EmeraldCityGrl
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 11:53 AM
Response to Original message |
28. Lost one of my oldest friends in 2005 |
|
She was a Ross Perot Republican back in the early 90's. but as the years went by became more and more rigid in her politics. I could tolerate some of the economic beliefs, but her bigotry became intolerable especially towards the LGBT community and hispanics. When her son came out to me in 2005 before telling her a couple months later that was the final nail in the coffin. She saw it as a betrayal towards her. By that time it was taking too much energy trying to walk on eggshells and avoid conversations about politics. We could no longer agree to disagree.
Thankfully the people I'm closest to are Liberal. I have to interact with RW'ers in business and in some casual social situations, but would never pursue any relationship of substance. To be honest, they wouldn't be able to tolerate me either. I no longer play well with others when the others are Tpublicans.
|
valerief
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:07 PM
Response to Original message |
29. A person who shares cannot be married to someone who won't share, unless |
|
that person is self-loathing. I'm not self-loathing, so NO.
|
northoftheborder
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:22 PM
Response to Original message |
30. I would have few friends if I eliminated conservatives. |
|
I find it possible to have friends based on other interests than politics. A few special friends happen to be Democrats, and we enjoy each other's company greatly because we each have so many Republican acquaintances. Two close friends of mine, although knowing my political leanings, which I seldom ever mentioned, changed their viewpoints 360 degrees during the GWB experience and voted Democrat, probably for the first time, in 2008, and really have had their eyes opened by just being open to new information, very little coming from me. Also influencing their conversion was the horrid, nasty, lies circulated via internet from some other "supposed" friends. My brother is a libertarian, and we just never discuss current events, which is fine, we have plenty of other things in common.
|
GreenStormCloud
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
35. If they change 360 degrees then they are still facing the same direction. N/T |
Blue_Tires
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:30 PM
Response to Original message |
|
I've only dated one, and although we felt something for each other, politics would have driven us apart so we stayed friends...
The constant thought running through my mind -- "Brilliant woman, lovely face, flawless body, has a lot of the same interests, well-traveled, speaks three languages, active in environmental issues, etc...HOW IN FUCK'S NAME can you vote for Bush's re-election and support the invasions with all the evidence to the contrary??"
|
Nuclear Unicorn
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
64. Wait 'til you see how many people vote for Obama after Libya etc |
GreenStormCloud
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:34 PM
Response to Original message |
33. There is much more to life than politics. |
|
I have friends who cover the entire political spectrum.
|
Major Nikon
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
|
It would be pretty hard to live in Texas and not associate with conservatives. Most of the ones I know don't talk politics around me much anyway because I find it so easy to debunk their bullshit. After a time or two of getting slammed, they generally keep it to themselves around me.
|
GreenStormCloud
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #60 |
70. I know lots of people that I have never talked about politics at all. |
|
There are so many other things to talk about that often politics just doesn't come up.
|
southernyankeebelle
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:36 PM
Response to Original message |
34. I find you can't reason with stupid. It is mind boggling that people |
|
like your mother growing up a catholic would think that way. I think the catholic church getting mixed up with the Evangelicals has a lot to do with it. The catholic church always helped the down and out. As far as health concerns I feel the same way with you. Don't let them tell you that the europeans health care system is bad. It isn't. They may have to wait for that knee surgery but it will get done.
|
FreeJoe
(331 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:43 PM
Response to Original message |
36. Most people I know are conservatives |
|
I like in an upper middle class suburb near Houston and work for an oil and gas company. I bet that over 80% of the people I know are conservatives. It doesn't really bother me. I like being around nice, optimistic people that care about making this a better world. That describes all of my friends, even the conservative ones. I disagree with them about the means, priorities, and some of the goals, but I still consider them to be good people. There are certainly some exceptions, but I've also known a few really hateful people that consider themselves liberals as well.
I know anti-abortion people that are that way because they focus almost entirely on the life of the "unborn child" and don't have realistic views on what would really happen if abortion was outlawed. They don't hate women or act from a desire to control them. They have the similar feelings towards fetuses that I have towards infants. I see them as having positive desires but blinders to the real world consequences of legislating those desires.
I have pro-tax cut friends. They recognize that taxes are a drain on the economy and that if businesses and people didn't pay taxes they could afford to hire more people. They don't seem to grasp that we need those taxes to support the government that makes our successful society possible. They start with a positive desire and don't seem to grasp the consequences. They aren't trying to wreck society even if that is what would happen if they got their way.
I could go down a laundry list of things I see differently from them. In almost all cases, we both want to make the world a better place. We just disagree on how to accomplish that.
There are some areas that do make me angry. The biggest two are the subject of sexual orientation discrimination and nationality discrimination. I try to be patient and try to educate people when they spout off about "defending" marriage, but it can be a struggle. I also get annoyed when people show strong biases against non-Americans. On the latter, I get as much of that from "buy American" liberals as I do conservatives.
|
Odin2005
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:47 PM
Response to Original message |
37. I have many conservative friends. |
|
Though most of them are more Libertarianish that real conservatives.
|
white_wolf
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:50 PM
Response to Original message |
38. My best friend is conservative. |
|
We get along well and even debate politcs some. I'm slowly making him see the light. I've gotten him to accpt high taxes on the rich and Germany's work councils and Co-determination models.
|
Ter
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:56 PM
Response to Original message |
40. As long as her personality is good and she's cute and the right age, sure |
|
Not sure I'd date a NY Giants fan though. :)
|
Hoosier Daddy
(271 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 12:57 PM
Response to Original message |
41. My first wife was right-wing |
|
Hormones. What can I say?
|
adigal
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 01:01 PM
Response to Original message |
42. So many great thoughts on this - thank you! |
|
My husband is not conservative, thank goodness, but I was just wondering if I could still be married if he were like the rest of my family. I don't think I could. Peace,
|
Duer 157099
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 01:02 PM
Response to Original message |
43. For me, it always boils down to this question: |
|
Can I be friends with somebody who believes that I should suffer and die?
I usually think: no
|
LanternWaste
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 01:16 PM
Response to Original message |
44. Absolutely. There a very few "deal-breakers" when it comes to that... |
|
Absolutely. There a very few "deal-breakers" when it has come to me falling in love.
Politics and religion simply aren't very high on my list of what it takes to get along with a friend/fall in love with a woman.
|
Liberal_Stalwart71
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 01:16 PM
Response to Original message |
45. Nope! But I have gone out with a few. I was able to open the minds of some, but not all. |
treestar
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 01:20 PM
Response to Original message |
46. Economic conservatives possibly |
|
I could be friends with conservatives on a acquaintance level.
The more obnoxious kind, no. I tolerate them politely but doubt they'd be true friends.
|
Whiskeytide
(128 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 01:53 PM
Response to Original message |
|
... My wife identifies herself as a conservative, but she's mostly apolitical. Now, her mother, on the other hand, is a staunch republican, and probably my best friend is one as well. I have some great conversations with both of them, and I learn a lot about where some of the conservative philosophy comes from. But I find that, when you break down their positions, they are not so different from mainstream democrats on a most issues. Its kind of fun to do that and have them say "well, I kinda agree with that". Then I say "welcome to the democratic party".
|
GoCubsGo
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:00 PM
Response to Original message |
48. Friends, yes. Husband, no. |
|
But, none of my conservative friends are close friends.
|
Ex Lurker
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:00 PM
Response to Original message |
49. I live in a dark red city in a dark red state. |
|
If I avoided conservatives completely, I wouldn't have much of a personal or social life. I don't associate with obnoxious, in your face types, but they're few and far between. With most people, it's possible to just agree to disagree.
|
Iggo
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:03 PM
Response to Original message |
marions ghost
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:24 PM
Response to Original message |
|
it doesn't work for me. I find I have to compromise too much, be on good behavior too much, put up with too much. I'm not rude, I just avoid conservatives like the plague. As a child I was treated very badly by people I now know were caught up in Rethug ideology. It left a scar. I can spot somebody with a twisted agenda a mile away. They are all about "me, me, me"--no matter what social class they are. No tolerance, no appreciation of difference, selfish. If they're not like that, then I don't consider them true conservatives.
I say gut reactions is a good indicator. If someone makes you feel bad, puts you down, tries to run roughshod over you (as so many conservatives like to do to Liberals)--it is not noble to put up with them. It's masochistic.
|
Bucky
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:26 PM
Response to Original message |
53. Depends. How loaded is she? |
|
Seriously, love can't be explained. Nor should it be. I love to see people in love. If it happened to me, how could I object?
|
pipi_k
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 02:29 PM
Response to Original message |
54. I am married to a VERY conservative |
|
Democrat. We often don't agree on many things, but very rarely get confrontational about it.
I also have Conservative friends...Republicans.
And family members.
You know, there are so many other things to talk about besides politics. Hundreds of thousands of other topics.
I know that confronting others will NOT change their minds. And it can make life very unpleasant as well. What is the point?
If you can avoid discussing politics with your mom, then you can avoid it with others, as well. Number one, don't bring it up. Number two, if someone else brings up something potentially politically inflammatory, just politely tell him/her that you don't discuss politics and then change the subject.
Someone else above said it, and I agree...by refusing to associate with Republicans, you shut yourself off from many otherwise good associations. And I don't know if it matters, but it doesn't look so great when people make a point of only associating with those who believe what they believe.
|
Puregonzo1188
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 03:22 PM
Response to Original message |
56. I am gay, a Marxist, and an atheist. |
|
Could a conservative be married to me?
|
Major Nikon
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 04:40 PM
Response to Reply #56 |
59. Perhaps if they were a masochist |
Pisces
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 03:28 PM
Response to Original message |
57. Depends on the person. A tea bagger never. I also do not think I could raise children with |
|
a strong Repbulican partner. I have Republican friends that I like to argue and debate with. They purposely bring up topics to discuss and it makes it interesting.
|
lucca18
(149 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 03:40 PM
Response to Original message |
58. My husband and I are both liberal... |
|
We are both passionate in our beliefs. Sadly my dear friend of so many years became a conservative about 5 years ago. I don't know what happened....(she lives in Texas), started to listen to Michael Savage and the rest is history. She doesn't believe in global warming, and voted for McCain. My dear friend who used to be liberal has become lost......
|
Major Nikon
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 04:46 PM
Response to Original message |
61. James Carville has been married to Mary Matalin for almost 20 years |
|
I'm sure they have some interesting conversations.
|
NNN0LHI
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 04:47 PM
Response to Original message |
62. I wouldn't leave my small children with one of them for even short periods of time |
|
So no I would not be friends with any or marry one.
Don
|
uppityperson
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 05:49 PM
Response to Original message |
65. Depends on the person. I am not a dichotomous thinker though. |
Nye Bevan
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 05:58 PM
Response to Original message |
66. *All* of my friends and family voted for an anti-gay marriage candidate. |
|
Edited on Thu Sep-29-11 05:58 PM by Nye Bevan
That includes the Obama voters and the McCain voters. Should I hate them all?
|
louslobbs
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #66 |
69. Do all of your friends and family just feel that gay people shouldn't get married, or do they also |
|
dislike gay people as well? Any of those friends and family members have a problem with Muslims and the building of Mosques or Muslims working in government or joining the armed forces? How about women and their rights to their own bodies? Anyone among them want to get rid of unions or trash the minimum wage? How about black people? Any issues there? Anyone think that there is no such thing as the separation of church and state, that this country was founded on Christian principles, or that their God is the one and only God? How about health care, anyone among those people think that it's not a right? And Social Security, do they consider it an "entitlement," or do they think that it's an "earned benefit?" These friends and family, any of them think the government has too much control and that the poor and middle class should be taxed more while the "job creators" should be taxed less and less and should be given government subsidies (corporate welfare)? What about regulations to protect us from the banks and wall street, or the regulations that protect our air, food, water and drugs? Anyone want to get rid of all of those because it stops companies from hiring? Any of them for more "USA" "USA" wars? You see, for most of us, it takes a lot more than voting for a candidate who is anti-gay marriage to decide whether or not to keep someone in life close to you, keep them at bay, or run for your life from them. And as for "hate," no one here expects you to hate anyone I would think based on what they've said or what they didn't say. Your comment references only one bigoted issue, I'd have to know a lot more than that about most people in order to decide whether or not I wanted them in my life. As for "hate," I'll leave that to the Republicans/Teabaggers, the KOCH types, FOX/GOP fraudcasting and those of that ilk who do it so well. Lou
|
Nye Bevan
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #69 |
71. I guess I could hand out a 10 page questionaire |
|
and shun anyone with too many "wrong" answers.
Or I could just avoid politics. There are many other things to talk about.
|
louslobbs
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #71 |
louslobbs
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:20 PM
Response to Reply #71 |
77. My partner and I have been together for 18 years, do we at least have your permission to get married |
|
or do you agree with all of your friends and family? Lou
|
Nye Bevan
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #77 |
78. I am 100%, completely in favor of gay marriage. |
|
I am generally pro-Obama, more so than most on DU these days, but his position on gay rights is appalling.
|
louslobbs
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:35 PM
Response to Reply #78 |
82. Thanks for your support, can you talk to all of your friends and family for me and ask them why my |
|
love should be discounted, while theirs celebrated? Feel free to send me a private email when you have talked to some of them so I can try to understand their bigotry against my family. We're good people, we pay a lot in taxes, we give plenty away to food banks and animal shelters each year, we treat others with respect and we don't force our views on others. So according to them, we shouldn't get married why? I anticipate your future reply, thanks. Lou
|
NNN0LHI
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #66 |
72. How do you know some in that group of "friends", voted for Obama? |
|
Did you go into the voting booth with them?
Don
|
louslobbs
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #72 |
76. That seems like a fair question. |
in_cog_ni_to
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 06:05 PM
Response to Original message |
|
And there is no way I could ever be friends with people who stand for everything I ABHOR. Life's too short to put up with shit like that from friends. NO THANK YOU.
|
totodeinhere
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 06:06 PM
Response to Original message |
68. I probably could. n/t |
|
Edited on Thu Sep-29-11 06:30 PM by totodeinhere
|
varelse
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:04 PM
Response to Original message |
|
I doubt I'll ever have any close friends who are conservative either. Our values would be too different.
|
YellowRubberDuckie
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:26 PM
Response to Original message |
79. I am not the sum total of my political beliefs. |
|
I live in Oklahoma. I'd have no friends if I didn't look at a person as being more than the sum total of their religious or political beliefs. Duckie
|
calendargirl
(85 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #79 |
Arkansas Granny
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:42 PM
Response to Original message |
83. I don't want to be married to anyone, but I have several conservative friends. |
|
They are, for the most part, good people who have a different outlook on life than I do and we have differing opinions about how things should be done. They respect my POV and I respect theirs and we are able to discuss a variety of subjects without anger or ridicule. It's not likely that we will change each others minds, but we get a little insight about each other.
There are other people that I have to interact with on a daily basis who are not as reasonable, so I just don't talk politics or religion with them. It's not enjoyable or productive.
|
rury
(629 posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:43 PM
Response to Original message |
84. I don't think I could. I have a few casual friends who are conservative |
|
And I actually had to "unfriend" two on Facebook because I got irritated with their constant anti-Obama diatribes appearing on my wall. I think that they are at least what I term "racially suggestive" about President Obama because they were always staunch Democrats until HE got the nomination. I'm okay with conservative friends as long as we don't discuss politics. But I think a conservative spouse would be very problematic for me because I am too adamantly opposed to right-wing policies and the havoc wreaked by them. There would be a fundamental clash of deeply-held values and convictions with a conservative spouse and it just wouldn't work. It would poison the relationship.
|
OffWithTheirHeads
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
|
Thu Sep-29-11 07:48 PM
Response to Original message |
85. NO! I don't talk to my family because they are all teabaggers. Have not talked to them in years. |
|
I simply could NOT have a relationship with a teabag. I don't do stupid! I don't put up with stupid relatives, I don't put up with stupid friends and I sure as hell wouldn't put up with a stupis spouse.
|
DU
AdBot (1000+ posts) |
Mon May 06th 2024, 05:19 AM
Response to Original message |