Andy Borowitz: "There are people running for President I would not trust to park my car."

[Fire Walk With Me]

[Blue Owl]

1. No shit.

I have a shitty car and I STILL wouldn't trust 'em!

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. I wouldn't buy a used toaster from those clowns. Much less a pizza.

[Bluenorthwest]

3. Radio legend Petey Greene, introducing a guest:

'This is a pimp I wouldn't trust to wash my car, but y'all done elected him city official... "
I've always loved that line.

[DirkGently]

4. Intelligence, reason, even a belief in science are now disqualifiers for nat'l Republican candidacy.

And lo, behold the results. Don't care for Romney's old school oligarchical condescension either, but he's clearly out of place among the new wave of wild-eyed, willfully ignorant crazies Republicans demand in their candidates these days.

He's like a soft-spoken, dark-suited 1950s Mafia don recently out of prison, only to find his crew has turned into a bunch of Mad Max cannibal bikers. He looks simultaneously disgusted, terrified, and desperate to win their approval.

Talk about a race to the bottom. Republican candidates got there a while ago. Now they're digging.

Who can hate women and science and working people the most? Who can keep the straightest face while claiming global warming is a hoax and what this here economy really needs is some tax and regulation cuts for the rich?

It'd be funnier to watch, if they weren't actually trying to be President of the United States, and presumably taken seriously by some segment of the population.