I'm tired of living in a culture that values willful ignorance over intelligent discourse. (rant)

[Locut0s]

Please note I've been clinically depressed for a very long time and while not suicidal I've been just about that low recently so my vision is no doubt clouded. Also note what follows is mostly a weak rant.

I'm tired of living in a culture that values willful ignorance over intelligent discourse. I'm tired of "knowing things" being a weight I have to carry around with me. I'm tired of having to be almost apologetic for voicing a learned opinion on topics. At best you get the "boy that guy is smart" look with a heavy dose of "yeah and arrogant too". And you know what, I'll take being a little arrogant, I probably am. But fuck me if wanting a little art in my entertainment is to be looked down upon. I'm tired of the passive aggressive hostility, the knowing looks, the, "you aren't better than me" attitude one inevitably encounters if one raises their hand to say anything not in the "book of approved opinions". I'm tired of the "pull yourself up by your boot straps kid" mentality that seems to increasingly permeate every facet of our culture. If you aren't a success by your mid to late 20s, if you don't look like your typical high school jock, crew cut hair, "casual stylish dress", car in the driveway, house or apartment owned, girl friend or wife secured, with a comfortable salary and a retirement portfolio, there's just something a little odd about you. Certainly some wiggle room is allowed here, but those who stray too far outside the dotted lines are at best "quirky", those who haven't achieved any of these preset goals (who's are they again?), well, you're just a failure. What types of problems exist in this world? Well you have your scheduling conflicts, your missed sales, girl friends who dropped you, friends who no longer call. Depression? Issues of a more existential nature? Yes I think I've read about that before, have you tried some hot tea? Are you sure you aren't just a homosexual? You know, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm tired of a world view that stops somewhere just short of ten feet from your nose. Forget the stereotype of not being able to place yourself on an Atlas, geographic ignorance is something we can fix. How about not even comprehending the human condition, and I don't mean in some philosophical sense, I mean in a very basic down to earth sense. Instead of asking people to pin down where they are on a map, a la pin the tail on the donkey. We should ask people to "pin down" what they consider to be "normal". What they consider to be "acceptable". Give them little cardboard cutouts, the homeless man, the thief, the wall street exec, the office man, the alcoholic, the woman in the mental ward, the schizophrenic, the unemployed man collecting welfare, the guy who just talks to himself a little too much, the woman who 'just can't seem to get it together', the 30 year old guy living at home with his parents. Okay Bob, now which of these fit in the 'acceptable' circle?

I'm tired of that circle having just 2 or 3 people in it.

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. That is changing, people are waking up and need smart folk to help create the new world.

Have you been to your local #Occupation? You might find use for your skills and insight.

And slightly premature congratulations on 1,000 posts! :hi:

[Locut0s]

3. Lol thanks. It's an idea. And not a bad one. But what I really need to do is..

what I really need to do is once and for all stamp out this crippling depression. I know I deserve to be happier than I am. Fuck where I am in life. Fuck what I've achieved, which is nothing on life's "achieve-o-meter". Fuck it if people think I'm pathetic. Fuck all the haters. I'm better than "where I am" and I DESERVE to be happier. But knowing is one thing, implementation oft proves harder than it should be.

[Fire Walk With Me]

23. You simply do not have the right audience. Please take to heart this wonderful quote:

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” — William Gibson

:)

Please do not underestimate the benefit of feeling useful, which you may find there. You ARE wonderful, you ARE worthy, you ARE something good. Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.

:hug::hi:

Please PM me if you wish to further the conversation.

[safeinOhio]

2. I use to share some of those feelings

and with age the depression faded as I learned not to give a fuck what others thought of me. Other people are not the mirror I look into to see me.

[Locut0s]

5. Thanks :P Yes I'm hoping age will mellow the worst of it. Though I'm also...

working on seeing a shrink and getting some medication. I've been on meds in the past and they DID help.

[reggie the dog]

4. your depression is a normal reaction to our world

i went to a phycologist and explained basically the same reasons as you for my depression and she said the problem wasnt with me it was that the world was not run in a positive manner and that, unlike most people, i was aware of this problem.

[Locut0s]

7. I agree. Though my problems have prevented me from starting a life...

I'm 29. Still live at home with my parents and have been in and out of university for years (5 or 6 at least). The usually pattern is I would start a semester looking fine then depression would kick in somewhere mid way through and I would drop out. Needless to say this has shredded what was once a 4.0 GPA. Aside from that I've managed to hold down 2 retail jobs in the past 5 years or so, again both quit due to depression. In between these I've spent long periods cooped up in my room just short of catatonic. Never had a GF, never even kissed a girl, due to sever social anxiety. Only good sides are that I've managed to save up about 65k during my years working those retail jobs, course living at home with my parents I've not exactly had any expense to speak of.

[MadHound]

6. I understand all that you say,

But why do you let it bother you so much? I didn't own my own house until I was in my early thirties, I wasn't married until my mid thirties. I am certifiably smarter than most people in the room and have played far outside the lines. And you know what, I never let what people thought of me get me down. I simply figured that what they thought just didn't matter, so I didn't let it bother me.

Yes, it gets tiresome dealing with the ignorance in our society, but I minimize my exposure to it in the media, and deal with it through educating people otherwise. I don't come across as arrogant, I simply use calm, reasonable tone and logic. As far as what is on the media, I recognize that I can't change it, so I simply don't expose myself to it.

I've been far down the road less traveled, and have found it to be rewarding and exasperating. I've found joy, happiness, friendship and love as well. I think the key is that if you travel that road, you have to have a thick skin, and learn to let go of that which you can't change.

Good luck

[Locut0s]

8. Anyone curious about a little more info on my depression...

I'm 29. Still live at home with my parents and have been in and out of university for years (5 or 6 at least). The usually pattern is I would start a semester looking fine then depression would kick in somewhere mid way through and I would drop out. Needless to say this has shredded what was once a 4.0 GPA. Aside from that I've managed to hold down 2 retail jobs in the past 5 years or so, again both quit due to depression. In between these I've spent long periods cooped up in my room just short of catatonic. Never had a GF, never even kissed a girl, due to sever social anxiety. Only good sides are that I've managed to save up about 65k during my years working those retail jobs, course living at home with my parents I've not exactly had any expense to speak of.

[MadHound]

9. Are you getting any professional help for your depression?

Sorry if you think that is a personal question, but given you history, and what I know of depression, perhaps some help might be in order:shrug:

[Locut0s]

10. About too...

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist coming up. I've also been on antidepressants in the past which DID help but I'm off them now.

I've had a few bad experiences with psychiatrists, well 2 to be exact. Maybe bad isn't the right term, more like nothing clicked, there wasn't any sense on my part that they really cared or were invested in any way.

[MadHound]

11. Well hopefully this time around things will click,

It is important that you have a rapport with a psychiatrist. Also, hopefully, you will get back on the meds you need.

Give the help you're about to get a chance to work out, then see if things don't look better coming out the other end. They usually do.

[whathehell]

14. As someone who experiencied severe depression in my twenties and who beat it, I second MH advice

It is important that you have a rapport with a shrink,

but please don't be discouraged about that having

only two shrinks...That's really not that many,

believe it or not....Definitely give it another

try and get back to us on it.

One's twenties can be a particularly

difficult time in life -- believe me

when I tell you that it WILL get better.

[Locut0s]

16. Thanks. I'll try to take this to heart. nt

[whathehell]

19. Your most welcome!

..and btw, feel free ask me anything about my experience with Depression...I was

once where you are, believe me...You'd be AMAZED at how much your

life can change...I was put on anti-depressant drugs and it

made all the difference, although it can sometimes take a bit

of time to find the right one...Once you've found it,

in my experience, you're more than half way home.

Best of luck and keep in touch.:hug:

[Leftist Agitator]

17. Try Marijuana.

It's a much more effective (and benevolent) substance for mitigating depression than SSRIs.

And as a fellow 29 year old, who has many older friends and acquaintances, let me tell you something.

Those people who at our age have the great job, the house, the car, the trophy spouse, etc.

By 40, they've lost the job, or the house was foreclosed on, they got divorced...

And unlike someone who is a decade younger, they don't have the comfort of knowing that their best years are still ahead of them.

Hang in there. You can't let life get you down when the best is yet to come!

[whathehell]

20. As a caution, Leftist, I need to say that Marijuana only made my depression Worse

It may have worked for you, but people differ...Just

wanted to give the those suffering from this

the benefit of my own experience:hippie:

[Lemonwurst]

12. I've had similar feelings for years

I appreciate what you’ve written here. Quite often I find myself brooding in nearly the exact same way, usually concluding with "why am I living in such prehistoric times”.

In fact, DU itself has become a bit of a haven for me over the past several years (my post count defies my 7+ years here) because it reminds me that there really are thousands of like-minded people out there, people who aren’t fully overcome by rampant consumerism, or reduced to echoing the bumper-sticker sound bites of what TV and print media pass off as “news” - then considering themselves informed.

Progress is terribly slow on its own. And whether intentional and orchestrated (conspiracy theory alert), or just a natural outcome of unbridled capitalism, a large percentage of Americans are rapidly and even voluntarily (!) dumbing down.

I refuse to be part of that trend, and proud to have ignored traditional news media for more than 10 years now. Still, my own voluntary ignorance of what others are being subjected to is simply a means to keep my sanity intact, and not anything of a solution.

So I sympathize with your rant and I bet most people here are similarly frustrated with how little our society improves vs. how much it gets degraded.

[JustAnotherGen]

13. Big hugs

It might not seem like much right now but kniw that I've been there. And know this too . . . It's okay to not live your life coloring inside the lines. At 38 - almost ten years ahead of you . . . I can say that my active choice at 31 to NOT color inside the lines has brought me tremendous joy.

[B Calm]

15. I was told recently that I was a smart ass. My reply was,

better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass. . crickets. . .

[Puzzler]

18. Amen! (nt)

[LWolf]

21. I get tired of trying to teach in a culture that values willful ignorance.

And I agree with your rant.

I hope you are getting help with your depression.

[PETRUS]

22. My comment mirrors reggie the dog's

I was discussion the prevalence of depression today with a friend who is also a physician. He said two things that stayed with me. One, that depression and anger are related. Two, that for a lot of intelligent and attentive people in today's world, both of them are rational responses to their conditions.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

24. Physical checkup would be a good idea.

I was depressed starting at age eleven, because I was exhausted all the time and needed to sleep twelve hours a day. I was in a total panic, living on caffeine, sugar and panic because I could not keep with normal people, and I had teachers that told me I was slow and lazy. However, I have an IQ that is three standard deviations above normal, at 145.

I couldn't figure out how people would tell me I was brilliant and then tell me I was slow and lazy. I started reading at age three and cannot remember not knowing how to read. They were frantic to put me in school so I started first grade a year early, at age five.

My thyroid died at that age and I was put on thyroid extract, but it was not enough to make me feel good. It was enough to keep me alive, just barely. Later an idiot doctor took me OFF thyroid, and you don't do that. You have to take it your entire life. After five years I went to a doctor who told me I was a couple of weeks from going into a myxedema coma and DEATH.

A lot of people have low thyroid caused by auto-immune disease. It's more common in women but men have it too.

I was depressed because I couldn't do what I wanted to do. When I was in school, I came home and slept for three hours every day after school.

If I was working, 8 to 5, I would come home and fall on my face and sleep from about 6 to 11 p.m.

Also, you might have adrenal exhaustion. Doctors refuse to address that because they are scared shitless of giving people prednisone. They say "But it will suppress your adrenals!" Well, duh, they are already gone and my immune system is shot. Adrenal exhaustion commonly feels like burnout, or I just can't handle people/reality anymore".

The adrenals and thyroid work together.

I think most people in our society have adrenal exhaustion and burnout because of the unbelievable amount of stress we are under. I had adrenal burnout in the early 1980s. i still have it.

And strangely enough, T3, the active thyroid hormone, increases neurotransmitters and serotonin!! So then if you are getting enough T3, you don't need SSRIs like Effexor to feel less depressed.

Get your thyroid and adrenals checked. My doctor ignored my concerns so i started researching on the internet.

www.stopthethyroidmadness.com

http://eaware.org

http://www.adrenalsweb.org

http://www.thyroid-rt3.com

http://thyroid.about.com

[donheld]

25. see

[Fire Walk With Me]

26. People don't want to feel less than, or to feel not invited to the party.

It's when they express this through ugliness and violence, that it is shameful.

[DonCoquixote]

27. a quote

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" J. Khrishnmurti.