U.S. Negotiating Mubarak's Severance Package

[Ichingcarpenter]

CAIRO—In an effort to provide monetary compensation to the Egyptian president for three decades of faithful service, U.S. officials opened negotiations with Hosni Mubarak Tuesday, offering him a severance package worth $20 million upon termination of his employment.

"We are all thankful for the hard work and long hours President Mubarak put in over the years, and hope our discussions continue smoothly," said senior U.S. negotiator Frank Wisner, who admitted that the final settlement would have to be considerable, as Mubarak's contract with the U.S. was being terminated 15 years early.

"Unfortunately, he no longer reflects our needs in the region at this time, but we would like to end our relationship on the right foot. He deserves to retire in comfort." Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has also reportedly offered to write Mubarak a letter of recommendation in case he wishes to apply for any dictatorship jobs with U.S. allies in the future.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-negotiating-mubaraks-severance-package,19037/

[mmonk]

1. LOL

[northoftheborder]

2. Good one! My eyeballs were bulging with astonishment till I got to the last paragraph!!

[Ichingcarpenter]

6. The Onion.... America's finest News Source

that's their motto......LOL

[indepat]

7. The Onion fully realizes Mubarak's reported $40-$70 billion family wealth might not be

sufficient to tide him over. ;)

[kudzu22]

3. Shouldn't he be in Switzerland with a suitcase full of gold by now?

[L. Coyote]

4. Now that the primary US candidate is in place as VP of Egypt, US position has changed.

An "orderly transistion" will work out nicely with "Omar the Torturer"" replacing "Hosni the Cruel" :rofl"

Thanks for not posting this here: :rofl:

***** EGYPT Live Blog ***** Al Jazeera English - Feb. 4 *****
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x341227

[flamingdem]

5. KO got more nt