Obama Administration Forces Bacon Down Citizens' Throats:

[MineralMan]

Under The Bus with Jews, Muslims, Vegans, and Vegetarians.

:sarcasm:

In a shocking revelation, it was recently discovered that the White House Mess features bacon and other pork products on its breakfast menu. This clearly demonstrates the Obama Administration's blatant disregard for the American people and Americans who eschew bacon and pork completely. The White House Mess menu, available at the White House's official web site, tells the tale:



Right in public, the Obama Administration advertises this shocking menu, guaranteed to draw the ire of so many. It's just more evidence that President Obama does not take the concerns of many Americans seriously. Outraged Americans will no doubt eschew President Obama upon finding out this alarming news. Many left-leaning Americans see this as one more way the President ignores the will of the "American People."

One person, a vegan, shared this viewpoint, "How many pigs must die to satisfy this man?"

Next week: Does The President Wear Synthetic Clothing?

:sarcasm:

[blondeatlast]

1. a man who'd wear jeans to go bicycling is capable of damn near anything.

You were warned, America...

[Robb]

2. (spits coffee)

:rofl:

OK, that's the funniest thing I've read all week. :hi:

[MilesColtrane]

3. "Obama Administration Forces Bacon Down Citizens' Throats:"

Of course he does.

He's a Muslim.

They know how bad that shit is for you.

[Hippo_Tron]

4. FYI, the vast majority of American Jews do not keep kosher

I realize you're being sarcastic, but the stereotype of Jews not eating pig products has always bothered me. Most Jews (at least in the US) do not base their diet on some arcane rules in the old testament.

[Ikonoklast]

6. Yeah, in this country we call them

...Presbyterians.

[Hippo_Tron]

11. I often say that I'm Presbyterian to see if those around me gets that joke

Coincidentally, I've only taken communion in a Presbyterian church. I usually respect that you're supposed to be baptized, but at the Presbyterian church they brought the wine and wafer right to your seat. I thought it would be more rude not to drink/eat it, so I did.

[MineralMan]

13. Very good. Sacrificing yourself for the sacrifice of others is

very good form, and the very essence of proper decorum. :applause:

[Ikonoklast]

26. Actually, you sound more like one of them sneaky Methodists.

Always with the sneaking, those Methodists.

[MineralMan]

32. Don't get my mother-in-law started on Methodists....

Please. She wouldn't like Presbyterians, either, but she doesn't know any.

[Ikonoklast]

47. I see that as a good thing.

Pre-emptively disliking people you've never met or know little about is enshrined in the Bill of Rights, and I, for one, am damn glad it is!


And every Amish person I've never met is aware of that.

[MineralMan]

7. OK...well...that's interesting, for sure.

What of American Muslims, vegetarians, and vegans, though? Not to mention PETA members and others who eschew the meat of the swine. Now, I'm not among those who eschew pork products. In fact, I chew them thoroughly, while smacking my lips and making noises of pleasure.

But what of others? Has not the Obama Administration now shown its contempt for Americans once again? :sarcasm:

[Warren DeMontague]

21. My wife is Jewish, and she likes bacon way more than I do.

I'm an Atheist, and I won't touch pork products with a 10 foot pole.

[MineralMan]

31. Well, Atheist scriptures clearly forbid pork products, so you're

clearly a devout atheist, like myself.

[Warren DeMontague]

34. No, see, if it was "forbidden", I would have to do it.

I'm funny that way.

[MineralMan]

43. You ARE contrary, aren't you? Just as I surmised.

[Ikonoklast]

51. Ahem.

(cough)he'sreallyasneakyclosetMethodistdon'tlethimfoolyouforasecond(cough)








'Nuff said.

[Warren DeMontague]

56. I'm actually Ken Ham.

This is a double-secret long-term covert promotional piece for my wonderful, exciting and educational Creation Museum™.


Hey, Ham! That's like a stupid pun, inside my dumb joke!

[MineralMan]

I must confess, too. My true name is Moishe Shem.

We should get together and do standup. And now, ladies and gentlemens, give it up for Ham and Shem.

[Warren DeMontague]

63. You are feeling impish, aren't you?

It's hard out here, for an imp.

[Ikonoklast]

66. "...and, lo, on the Fifth Day, God created Bacon, and He saw that it was Good."

He found out it was even better on the Sixth Day after creating bread, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomatoes.

[Warren DeMontague]

69. My favorite thing about Ken Ham is that he looks like Dr. Zaius from Planet of the Apes.

Lo, the irony!

[blondeatlast]

101. And created Satan when one of the angels put cheese on it.

S/He shall SOOO not allow the Divine to be trifled with!

[Angry Dragon]

5. Egg Busters availlable upon request

some chickens are being saved it seems

[MineralMan]

8. No, they're saving the chickens for lunch.

As you see:



Those who eschew chicken will be without appetite when they see it, no doubt.

[MineralMan]

17. You are surely aware that the first ingredient in Egg Busters is

egg whites, right? Oh, the poultrity!

[notesdev]

9. Apostrophe Bob is sad

even on the WH menu you can't get correct punctuation :(

[MineralMan]

10. I have written a very stern letter to the White House in that regard.

I'm sure they will correct the error forthwith. :rofl:

[derby378]

15. Just can't find good help these days

I was a 5th-grade spelling bee champion. They could've hired me to design the menu. Honestly.

[road2000]

44. Taco's, right?

I was going to point that out. Did I miss anything else (just read the breakfast menu).

[notesdev]

52. That's the one

oh those poor abused apostrophes

[MineralMan]

12. By the way, I learned of this shocking business in an obscure

memo in Wikileaks. It was the subject of a complaint by the Saudi government, you see. Yes, that is the ticket.

[MineralMan]

14. Obligatory complaint about unrecs:

WHY, FOR GOD'S SAKE, WOULD ANYONE UNREC THIS? :rofl:

[NBachers]

38. Sorry, the complaint is only 5% valid if it's not the very first comment of all

Oh, the Outrage! You have to jump in with the very first comment if you want to get your !UNREC OUTRAGE! stripes.

Try harder next time.

"Hey, I rec'ed and it's still at zero"

[MineralMan]

42. I'll remember that. Thanks!

[madinmaryland]

104. Obligatory complaint about complaints about un-recs!

:P

:hi:

[MineralMan]

106. Well noted!

[bobbolink]

16. unrec'd for silly, divisive threads

[MineralMan]

20. Thank you very much.

There is far too much parody and whimsy around here. You're absolutely right. Now, where did I put my scourge? ...

[bobbolink]

22. You're very welcome. Making fun ot other DUers is not peace-making.

[MineralMan]

30. Hmm...actually, I was making fun of Fire Dog Lake.

But, never mind.

[LoZoccolo]

64. I cancel the unrec!

:woohoo:

[justiceischeap]

18. But I thought Muslim's are against pork

:shrug:

[Warren DeMontague]

23. Which religions prohibit egregious apostrophe abuse?

:shrug:

[justiceischeap]

28. Your's? nt

[MineralMan]

33. Just so.

[walldude]

19. Well it's nice to see how well they are eating on my fucking dime.

Meantime I need to figure out if I'm going to eat well this week or am I going to buy my wife's medication.

[Warren DeMontague]

24. The real question is, how well are they fucking on your eating dime.

Anyway, for one, I think a lot of Presidential expenses are out of pocket, and two, are you really suggesting the White House stop feeding visiting dignitaries, and the like? I mean, come on.

[walldude]

45. White House breakfasts are not "out of pocket"

And People are fucking starving out there... What? A few fucking danish and coffee aren't good enough? Did you look at the menu? It's like eating at the fucking Ritz. Meantime people like me are deciding what to pay for this month because I had to give 25% of my money to the government so foreign dignitaries can enjoy a high class breakfast.

Yeah I am saying it's fucking bullshit.

[MineralMan]

58. Actually, it's mostly White House Staff who eat at the

White House Mess, and they pay for their meals, so it's not really coming out of your pocket. It is open a couple of days a month to the general public, by reservation. The tab is $50, but you also get a souvenir menu, and can take salt packets and the like to put in your scrapbook. If you'd like to go, make your reservation way in advance, though. It's very popular with DC tourists and booked far ahead of time.

[Warren DeMontague]

61. Nah, you're giving 25% of your money to lock up pot smokers and pay for stealth bombers.

Feel better?

[walldude]

92. LMAO.. yes much.. Thanks.

[Hippo_Tron]

97. The food on the menu looks like it would be served at a typical diner

I guess the paper they printed the menu on looks nice and might be something they would use at the Ritz.

[treestar]

98. If you make enough to pay those taxes

You make enough to eat.

And it's going out of your way to be angry to assign your taxes to fancy WH functions. You could as well see them as going to any other federal expenditure. Welfare, environmental programs.

[HuckleB]

25. Recommended! A sense of humor is necessary, and this is funny.

Those who claim it is divisive seem quite thin-skinned.

[Name removed]

27. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ikonoklast]

35. Recc'd for the very same reason.

[MineralMan]

36. Thank you. I see my attempt at humor is working.

It's Saturday, an I'm feeling impish, you see.

[tekisui]

46. Attempt at humor. uh huh.

[MineralMan]

54. Hmm. Maybe it didn't work as well as I thought.

But, yes. Not everyone laughs, I guess.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

70. Oh, we're laughing alright.

It was about as funny/biting as the The Half Hour News Hour and Mallard Fillmore. Conservatives just don't do humor very well.

[MineralMan]

73. They sure don't. That's why I'm glad I'm not one.

[TheKentuckian]

29. Unrecced for lameness, silliness, and the funny bone of spoofs of Micheal Moore from the Jon Poit/

Kelsey Grammer wing of humanity.

[MineralMan]

39. Very nicely done. Still, purists may take umbrage at your spelling

of Michael. But many people quibble over irrelevant things. Very nicely done.

[backscatter712]

37. Recced for awesome snark!

Did some of you have your senses of humor surgically removed?

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

40. Bacon? From ponies?

[MineralMan]

48. One must dine in France, I'm afraid, for that delicacy.

Viande de cheval is not served in the United States.

[madrchsod]

67. not just any ponies...

[provis99]

41. this is the best that the White House can serve?

I get a better menu at the local IHOP.

[MineralMan]

49. Well, there it is. I didn't create the menu. I'm just a reporter.

[jpak]

50. reccing for Creamed Chipped Beef

SOS!

:D

[MineralMan]

53. Over at the Congressional Dining Rooms, the bean soup is

a perennial favorite, too. It's good, too. Anyone can drop in for lunch at the dining rooms in either office building, and your Senator can give you an invitation to the Senate Member's Dining room. Drop your senator a line if you'll be in D.C. and ask for an invitation. Cool beans. I've eaten in all the dining rooms, but never in the White House Mess. You can though. It's open to the public, by reservation, a couple of days a month. $50, and you get a pile of nifty souvenirs. Google White House Mess for details.

[provis99]

59. by odd coincidence, I'm making Senate Bean Soup right now.

I actually got the recipe out of an Al Franken book; I can't get enough of the stuff!

[MineralMan]

62. Cool! I got my invite to the Senate Members Dining Room from

Al Franken. I worked a bit on his campaign, so I don't know how free he is with those, but it was pretty cool.

[GoCubsGo]

55. Breakfast "Taco's"????

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!! My biggest grammar pet peeve, by far. Whoever wrote and published that menu needs to be wrapped in bacon and locked in Bo's kennel--with Bo in it.

[Warren DeMontague]

57. It's the White House menu. I fear we've lost the battle.

If not, we're going to "loose" it, soon. :eyes:

[treestar]

99. Awesome!

:rofl: Rule No. 3!

[madrchsod]

60. all that food is grown organically by small farmers in the dc area.

i`m more concerned if he wears blended wool or blended cotton fabric clothes...

[MineralMan]

65. That's next weeks exposé.

Stay tuned.

[madrchsod]

74. i enjoyed your posts in that other thread,

good black dirt around here is 3000+ an acre. anything else is going to houses

[MineralMan]

77. Yeah, farmland is expensive. Most individual farmers have given

up. My father has a 15 acre citrus farm in California. Hasn't made any money for a long, long time. But he doesn't care. He's retired, and has enough to stay afloat. At age 86, though, he's still out on the tractor.

[madrchsod]

91. now that`s the way to live....

[bobbolink]

68. Yes, while they simutaneously cut food stamps. Some "change"

[MineralMan]

71. I heard he ate oyster, corn, and bacon chowder made with milk, too.

I don't have a solid source for that one, though. I'm still investigating.

[BoWanZi]

76. "investigating"? Wow, that is nuts

If the President wants to eat some bacon chowder, let the guy eat some! He isn't a vegan, he doesn't have to live a vegan lifestyle.

Just because he is the president doesn't mean he has to cater to every single lobby out there, he has a mind of his own and can choose to eat what he wants or doesn't want.

[MineralMan]

79. Nuts, eh? I don't think you know from nuts.

It's all a sign, if you know how to read the signs. Did you know he's rooting for the Packers? Now there's something shocking, I tell you.

[BoWanZi]

80. lol. Like I said in my other previous post, sorry for misinterpreting your posts and overlooking

the sarcasm!

[MineralMan]

84. It's OK. Parody and satire are no fun at all unless someone

takes them seriously for a while. :toast:

[Ikonoklast]

83. How tall do you have to be to qualify as a 'small' farmer?

Do they get a special government subsidy, just because they're small?

Do they have to be shorter than the stick some pimply-faced kid measures you by?

Are small farmers the guys that grow baby carrots, and those tiny ears of corn?

What if you qualify, then grow a little bit. Do you become a 'large' farmer?


Agriculture has always fascinated me.

[MineralMan]

86. My dad's a farmer. He started out tall, but at age 86, he's

a smaller farmer. Nothing's permanent, I guess.

[BoWanZi]

72. "shocking menu" Really? Is the OP serious?

Just because the White House offers various meat products in its menu, it has to be shocking?

Remove the meat products from the menu and you still have a ton to order from.

OP's posting is just plain silly and far reaching.

[MineralMan]

75. I always try to reach far. And no, I'm not serious. I thought that

was pretty clear when I added TWO :sarcasm: :sarcasm: smilies. Oh well. Shocking is as shocking does.

[BoWanZi]

78. Oh good lord, color me embarrased!!

I so didn't pay attention to the sarcasm tags.

Whoops. Apology to the OP then!

[MineralMan]

81. No offense taken. In fact I always strive to give offense, since my

mother told me it's better to give than take. :rofl:

[treestar]

100. Sense of Humor fail comes from all sides, I see!

I believe what OP is mocking is people who get outraged over everything Obama or the WH does.

[MineralMan]

82. This thread is New And Hot, but On The Fence.

It always goes that way, it seems. Half and half, never a best seller. What's a guy have to do to be popular? That's what I wonder. :shrug:

[blondeatlast]

85. Psst...

Rumor has it that he eats fried chicken.

[MineralMan]

87. Oh, No! Not That! I don't want to hear any more.

Next thing you'll tell me is that they have watermelon in the fruit plate on that menu. It just CAN'T BE!

[JoePhilly]

94. It should be a winner ... EVERYTHING is better with Bacon on it!!!

[muriel_volestrangler]

103. Why is it funny?

Seriously, I don't know who it's meant to be spoofing. Is this like something Limbaugh said?

[MineralMan]

105. Think of Fire Dog Lake and every other post on that blog.

[muriel_volestrangler]

112. Ah well, that explains why your thread is unpopular

You're attacking people on the left. If you want to be popular on a left wing forum, attack people on the right. Simples!

[HuckleB]

107. It seems like a best seller to me, just with mixed reviews!

I love it!

[leftstreet]

88. Politicians live fat, while we are bled to death

[MineralMan]

90. Just so. You've captured the spirit of my OP like no other.

I stand in awe.

[TheManInTheMac]

89. Looks a lot like the breakfast menu at that bastion of communism

Bob Evans.

[JoePhilly]

93. Obama is in the pocket of BIG BACON!!!

[treestar]

95. Then he had the water in the fountain turned green on St. Patrick's Day

Forcing religion on us (ST. Patrick)! And the right would complain about handing our sovereignty to a foreign nation. And I hope natural ingredients were used! The idea of green water is very frivolous when there are people out there who are jobless. How heartless!

[JoePhilly]

96. On second read, the menu's items match those on most southern diners.

Except for the Cappuccino, Latte and Espresso!!!

[Ikonoklast]

102. What the devil are you going on about?

I've eaten at plenty of southern diners, ands they all had offerings of authentic Italian food.


I like my Cappuccino done al dente, in a nice clam sauce.

[JoePhilly]

108. So true ... my favorite would be ...

.... An appetizer of Fried Mozzarella Grits covered in Okra Bisque reduction, followed by Country Fried Lobster Raviolis in Turkey Gravy, with a dessert of Cajun Fried Ice Cream Profiteroles.

I think you and I have just invented a new party game ... you take 2 or 3 ethnic, national, or regional food selections, and then you have to combine them into something that sounds reasonable, but is actually terrifying to all of the groups involved.

[jberryhill]

109. Do the grits come with fresh basil?

I can't see how you are going to do the mozzarella grits without basil and fresh asagio gratinee.

And did you want house orange juice or something wonderful from the crate that we just got in from Valencia?

[JoePhilly]

110. Given the geographic diversity, we could change sections of the menu regularly ...

So the Mozzarella grits could go the basil and asagio route ... but then later, we could mix in pecans.

The question on orange juice is critical. First, there are the pulp considerations. Heck, a side of fried orange juice pulp, local or imported, would be a knock out. You could also sprinkle it on country fried chicken.

I think the key thing for the orange juice is that it be VERY ORANGE ... not John Boehner orange, but a very deep orange. And if the oranges (crate or imported) are a bit ripe and bitter, just add sugar.

[jberryhill]

111. Corn dogs are easy for lunch

Pork sausage tempura satay with a honey chili glaze sauce and served with sweet potato fries and wasabi mango mayonnaise.