Santa's Crimes Against Humanity

[toddaa]

Robert Anton Wilson (RIP) essay on Santa

In Burlington, North Carolina in 1990, a group of decent, Christian, hard-working folks who called themselves the Truth Tabernacle Church held a trial featuring the well-known elf Santa Claus as defendant.

They charged Mr. Claus, represented in court by a stuffed dummy, with all sorts of high crimes and misdemeanors. They charged him with paganism. They charged him with perjury for claiming to be Saint Nicholas. They even charged him with encouraging child abuse by appearing in whiskey ads. Worse yet, they found him guilty on all counts, for basically being a jolly old elf — i.e., a pagan god trying to steal Christmas from Christ.

http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/2007/12/18/santas-crimes-against-humanity/

(h/t disinfo.com)

[AnnieBW]

1. Since when is Paganism a crime?

But yeah, Santa Claus is Pagan, too.

Santa Claus Is Pagan, Too Lyrics
Emerald Rose

Oh, Santa Claus is Pagan too
Just like all the rest
And if you are a merry witch
He’ll bring you all the best

So get that star up on the roof
And bake those cookies too
Cause Christmas time is really Yule
And Santa’s Pagan too

He’s got that Buddha belly
And his Pops the Holly King
You’ve dressed him in that British Coat
The caps a Nordic thing

You took the horns right off his head
And stuck them on his deer
But he still flies high like Jupiter
With a belly full of beer

Hey, Santa Claus is Pagan too
Just like all the rest
And if you are a merry witch
He’ll bring you all the best

So get that star up on the roof
And bake those cookies too
Cause Christmas time is really Yule
And Santa’s Pagan too

Now history says Christ was likely
Not a Capricorn
But if you want to share our Yule
We don’t care when he’s born

Come celebrate the dawning
Of the sun king’s bright rebirth
And if you practice what you preach
We’ll all have peace on earth

Hey, Santa Claus is Pagan too
Just like all the rest
And if you are a merry witch
He’ll bring you all the best

So get that star up on the roof
And bake those cookies too
Cause Christmas time is really Yule
And Santa’s Pagan too
Now, Santa’s way more jolly
Than most Christians would require
And if he weren’t so busy
He’d be dancing ‘round this fire

Yeah, you can call it Christmas
You’ve got us way outgunned
But just you wait ‘til Beltaine
Then we’ll see who’s havin’ fun !

Hey, Santa Claus is Pagan too
Just like all the rest
And if you are a merry witch
He’ll bring you all the best

So get that star up on the roof
And bake those cookies too
Cause Christmas time is really Yule
And Santa’s Pagan too

Hey, Santa Claus is Pagan too
Just like all the rest
And if you are a merry witch
He’ll bring you all the best

So get that star up on the roof
And bake those cookies too
Cause Christmas time is really Yule
And Santa’s Pagan too

[toddaa]

2. You didn't read the whole thing, did you?

Robert Anton Wilson should have been your first clue.

[demosincebirth]

3. Big deal!