What Birthers Actually Believe

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http://www.leftunderground.com/content/218-What-Birthers-Actually-Believe">What Birthers Actually Believe

So I got in to a conversation with a number of birthers on You Tube yesterday after posting a video by Lawrence O'Donnell destroying Donal Trump's crazy birther conspiracy theories. You might ask why I put myself through something like that, well I really had nothing better to do at the time. And the absolute stupidity of these people struck me in such a way that I had to write out exactly what these people believe. And remember, if you don't believe any of this you are the one that is in fact crazy, brainwashed by our government.

Lets set up the scene. The year is 1961. In February of that year Barack Obama Sr. gets married to Ann Dunham on a small island in Hawaii, Ann is 3 months pregnant at the time with the future president of the United States. Although Barack Obama Sr. is from Kenya the 18 year old Ann Dunham has lived in the United States her entire life and has always been a US citizen. The location of the wedding is not in dispute.

Now, for some reason around August of that year the 8 month pregnant Ann decides that it is a good time to take a 10,000 mile vacation to Kenya. Lets keep in mind this is 1961, you don't simply get on a plane in Hawaii and land 10,000 miles away in Kenya. Any such trip would only be available to very wealthy people and would have many stops.

But anyway, I digress. For some reason she really really wants to be in Kenya, a developing country, when her son is born. Why? That's not important, the important thing is that it happened.

So she makes the trip out there, gives birth to Barack Obama, and now all is left to do is get back to the United States, forge a birth certificate, and somehow get the Hawaii state health department to officially register this certificate in to government health records. However, even though Ann has just given birth and is probably in no condition to make the 10,000 mile trip back home she must do it ASAP. Because if she doesn't get the fake birth certificate slipped in to the state records within 5 days the newspapers in Hawaii won't pick up the birth announcements and expose the entire conspiracy.

Now, you may ask yourself why they would go through all this trouble if infact Obama was born in Kenya since Obama's mother is a US citizen as are her parents and Obama would automatically be a US citizen entitling him and his family to the same benfits as every other US citizen.

Were Obama's parents going through all this trouble for the sole reason of wanting Obama to be president one day? No, I am told by birthers you would have to be absolutely crazy to believe that (obviously). The far more logical explaination is that a mother who had no problem marrying a Kenyan didn't want the stigma of having a Kenyan born son (I'm not making this up).

So just to summerize, for some reason a mother who has lived in the United States her entire life wanted to have her son born in Kenya. So much so that when she was 8 months pregnant she wanted to fly 10,000 miles from Hawaii to Kenya. However, she didn't want the stigma associated with this action she voluntarily took. So this 18 year old women went on to conceive and execute one of the greatest conspiracies of our time.

So there you have it, what birthers believe in a nutshell.

[FLPanhandle]

1. Logic isn't important to conspiracy theorists

Birthers, 9/11 truthers, Fake moon landings, UFO/Alien abductions, etc.

It's a waste of time using logic with conspiracy fans...they "just know something isn't right". You can't use logic against that.

[Drale]

5. Hey now

If Aliens are not visiting earth and abducting people, how do you explain how Sarah Plain and Michele Bachman seemed to have appeared out of no were over night? :rofl:

[QED]

9. You forgot FEMA camps.

I actually overheard two people discussing this at a restaurant the other day. The snippet I heard went something like, "Be careful what you say. Obama's going to round people up and put them in FEMA camps."

[BeFree]

17. Funny

It is those who just love bush and are unwilling to see that bush fucked us over on 9/11 who are the birthers. Leave the anti-bush truthers out of it. Just because you have your head in the sand about bush fucking us over on 9/11 gives you no call to list Truthers with the birthers.

[FLPanhandle]

19. Yes, your conspiracy is different than all the other conspiracies...

Although you've got just as much hard proof. :rofl:

Whatever. I don't argue with conspiracy fans, it's not worth the effort.

If it makes you feel important and special because you can "see through the lies", then enjoy your conspiracy theory. I don't really care which one it is.

[Buzz Clik]

2. Yeah, but where's the birth certificate?

:silly:

[treestar]

3. It is starting to dawn on some of them

how that is not working, so they moved on to even crazier theories:

- one is that by going to school in Indonesia, he lost US citizenship (easily debunked with case law on just how difficult it is for an adult to lose US citizenship - impossible for a child)

- another is that he went to Occidental college as a foreign student and that's why he won't produce the school's records (which wouldn't cause him to lose US citizenship even if he had)

- even more exotic and ridiculous is that his father was a citizen of Britain at the time of his birth, giving Obama British citizenship, and anyone in that situation is not a "natural born" citizen, though he may have been born in the U.S.)

- that his Selective Service registration or alleged lack thereof proves he was in the US as a foreign student.

Funny thing is that even if their theories were true, they'd be declaring many of themselves or friends to be other than natural born citizens. One foreign parent being enough cuts off many people.

[Scuba]

4. They believe that BHO is a black guy. For most of them, that's good enough. n/t

[BeFree]

12. yep

A Black person is their ruler. A Black person is the king of their empire.

[no_hypocrisy]

6. You forgot that Ann had co-conspirators "plant" the birth announcement in the Hawaiian newspapers

while she was recovering from birth in Kenya.

[no limit]

7. Ahh...I thought of that. But the birth certificate has to have the mother's signature

and you wouldn't want to forge a signature since that could one day be caught.

And as far as I know fedex overnight didn't exist in Kenya in the 1960s.

[PCIntern]

8. Yes it did too!!!

It wa INVENTED in Kenya, and FedEx was kept a secret for all those years until it was ready to be released as though it were an American company. I mean: you know how FAST those Kenyans can run, right??

:sarcasm: ...just in case...

[elfin]

10. She also must have renounced her US citizenship

and became a citizen of Kenya before giving birth there and then got a visa to go to Hawaii to illegally register said birth.

[zbdent]

11. as ridiculous as it seems to reasonable people ...

there was an Alaskan governor who went into labor and decided to do something along the lines of "8 month pregnant Ann decides that it is a good time to take a 10,000 mile vacation"

risking the health of her unborn child ... wonder if she would have been charged with manslaughter if her child died due to complications, much like a lot of Rs suggest doing to "drug-addicted pregnant crack hos" ...

[OHdem10]

13. Being a birther is their way of disguising their underlying racism.

Nothing upsets or hurts a rightie more than to be
accused of racism. If you remember back to election
and when it was established that Obama won. People
were crying "I want my country back". Please for
a moment try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
I am not saying they are right--far from it. I am
trying to say as Liberals just try to see how they
think. They have lived watching "the browning of America"
and with a fear that Dark Skinned People are going
to take over and run the place. Most of them probably
dreamed wished hoped and therefore believed it would
never happen in their lifetime. This fear is as real
to them as my fear of certain Right Wingers getting
power.

Obama won and there was some accusations of racism.
(Some were deserved). Many Republicans deal with
life using mental mechanisms--such as projection etc.
Another mental gymnastic is to try to deflect accusations
of racism by creating a real and what they perceive
as acceptable reason for their behavior. Therefore
they jumped onto the Birth Certificate like Bees
after honey. They tell themselves it has nothing
to do with race, it is about the Constitution.
He should not be President because he was not born
here. This sounds much better than we have a problem
with a Black Man being president.

This is why I have problems with people to pander to
them. To me a Politician who panders to them is
almost as guilty as they are. Politicians can
influence people for good for bad. Just affirming
their misguided beliefs shows no inner strength
on the part of the Politician. There are ways of
dealing with Constituents without insulting them
but not agreeing with them. I am not the only
American who understands what is going on.

[Armstead]

14. That's disappointing.....I thought it would be some huge Muslim conspiracy

Like she was impregnated overseas by the Muslim Brotherhood and he was raised from the beginning to become President to facilitate the imposition of Sharia Law in the US.....

The "real truth" sounds kind of boring and prosaic.

[xmas74]

18. That would have been much more interesting.

I personally would have promoted that theory to a few idiot coworkers, just to see if they'd bite. I could have had a good giggle for days.

[unblock]

15. the also have no problem with the republican house failing to even hold hearings on the matter

if the republicans in the house really thought for one minute that a constitutionally ineligible, muslim socialist managed to defraud his way into access to the codes of the world's largest nuclear arsenal and the keys to fort knox, how on earth can they be excused for failing to make an investigation, impeachment, and removal the number one most urgent priority?

no, house republicans are fine with an illegitimate democratic presidency, and the birthers are fine with that.



turth is, of course, that there's zero substance to the accusations and it's all a stupid play on racist sentiment, and the republican cowardly "leaders" know damn well what they're doing.

[CanonRay]

16. Gives and insight as to just how stupid and/or crazy they all are.

I think it's all smoke to not mentally accept of legitimize a black man as President.

[Kip Humphrey]

20. Proving Donald Trump is too stupid or craven to run for president.