GOP Completely Fixes Economy By Canceling Funding For NPR

[joeybee12]

WASHINGTON—Unemployment plummeted and stocks soared Tuesday after Republican leaders fulfilled their promise to cut funding for National Public Radio, a budgetary move that has completely rejuvenated the flagging U.S. economy. "Since eliminating federal spending for NPR, America's economic outlook is brighter than it's been in decades, with manufacturing on the rise and† millions of jobs once sent overseas now returning to our shores," said Sen. Mark Kirk (R-IL), adding that by eliminating funds for NPR, the deficit has been slashed by 0.000004 percent and a newly thriving middle class once again has cause to believe in the American dream. "Pulling funding for Car Talk and Planet Money alone has created 4.2 million jobs and generated a $2 trillion budget surplus." Republicans announced Thursday they will now turn their attention to cutting the National Park Service, a move that should ensure Social Security's solvency for the next 350 years.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/gop-completely-fixes-economy-by-canceling-funding,19897/

[Drale]

1. It's getting harder and harder to tell the Onion from the real news.

[librechik]

2. Huh, NPR cost 100 billion?

that's what they want. Gotta love the Onion... Oh, and by the way, NOTHING will save sociual security if those bozos are anywhere near it. Not even sacrificing the National Park Service, the VA, AND the Blue Angels.

[Blue Owl]

3. The long national nightmare is once again over

Thank heavens.