Share with us the emotional problems you and those you love have had.

[Locut0s]

This isn't meant to be a thread for us to wallow in misery, nor is it meant to be schadenfreude. It's just that in a world that prides itself on the ability of pull one's self up by their bootstraps it's nice to meet others who have fallen on the path at times.

I'm 28 (just turning 29). Have lived with depression a good part of my life. Dropped out of high-school for a year then was in and out of university 5 or 6 times. When I managed to keep everything together I was a straight A student in math, physics and comp sci. But depression and anxiety would inevitably rear its head and I would basically just shut down and drop out. Been through periods were I drank a lot. I've been working in retail sales the past 5 or 6 years since the last time I dropped out of university. 4 years at 7-11 as an assistant manager and now I'm selling computer hardware. Still live with my parents and am a bit of a shut in (never been with a girl). Not that it's all been bad. I've managed to save up about about $63k and I've actually been happy at work for the most part though I certainly have my regrets. I fully intend to go back to university some day to finish that degree though exactly when will be more of an emotional decision than a logistical one.

I am also not the only one in my family to have fallen pray to emotional demons. My father had a serious nervous breakdown in his late 20s and basically spent a year putting himself back together. He has had many smaller episodes since though nothing close to that. He felt emotionally somewhat suffocated growing up in a family of 4 boys (a family that was highly success driven in which he was the artistic liberal one, a view that was not understood nor well tolerated). His mother was at times an alcoholic and emotionally abusive. My mother, though usually as emotionally stable as a rock, came from a similarly emotionally stifling background (one of 7 or 8 siblings, she came from a very traditional Chinese upbringing where love was VERY sparingly shown).

A friend of my fathers has also had long term emotional problems. He attempted suicide twice and has been hospitalized for depression and anxiety several times. His most recent suicide attempt occurred after being diagnosed with prostate cancer (possibly aggressive).

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Quist]

2. I'm sorry...

Are tradition Chinese families always unloving? And in what way? I wish to study the culture more so as to become more acquainted with it.

[Locut0s]

3. No sorry that was is too harsh...

However there certainly are aspects of traditional Chinese culture that are difficult to love (I'm 1/2 Chinese so I'm not coming at this from a racist point of view). Traditionally male children are seen as the light of the world for example. And while female children are still very much loved they, simply by their gender, will forever be held back in some respects. For example when my grand[parents passed away all their significant wealth immediately went to the male children, while the female children only saw token amounts. One of my mothers brothers committed suicide so his share of the family wealth went to his first son. This really is no longer as much an issue in modern China in families that have grown up in any of the major cities. My mothers family was particularly harsh however, even by harsh Chinese standards. Her parents came from small rural China and had a hard life. Her father build up a significant fortune over his long life. He owned a rubber making factory and worked his ass off most of his life. But it's not a stretch to say that not much love was shown in that household by the parents.

[Quist]

9. Thank you for being honest!

:hi:

[elleng]

4. You may want to check this group.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=276

:hi:

[Rhiannon12866]

15. He needs a star to go there.

;(

[Electric Monk]

5. This thread is not going to end well.

Have you heard the one about the masochist and the sadist?

The masochist asked the sadist to hurt him, to which the sadist replied "No".

[Paradoxical]

6. I suffer from depression and pulling myself up by non-existent bootstraps didn't help.

[Newest Reality]

7. We are all unique humans.

Our organisms are subjected to being created by the culture and people around us, and then we are subjected to a gross imbalance, i.e., an inculcated idea that we have free will and are totally responsible for everything that we do and that happens to us.

While none of us is normal, because we are unique, we are subjected to the impositions of culture and norms and then spend our lives either trying to relate to and fit into the presented norms, or reacting to or removing ourselves from those conditions.

Not being normal, I find myself having to simply react and relate to those impositions in a way that is practical and that supports my survival in the best way possible and in a rational and viable way. I make no excuses for that, or do I mistake that effort as a way to support or substantiate what is imposed upon me. What is considered sane and rational is at question and I, (and all of us) are left to determine the best route through the systematic method of normalization that serve a cultural set of factors that are self-perpetuating.

[pnwmom]

8. I hope you will think of counseling, and perhaps medication,

if you are deeply depressed. There are places that will offer therapists on a sliding fee scale according to client's income. You're right to cut way down (or eliminate) alcohol, since it just makes this kind of thing worse.

I'm encouraged that you have a job selling computer hardware, since it probably gets you out of the house some. People who are shy can can take longer to accomplish some of these "developmental steps" -- like having a girlfriend -- but it can still happen for you, as long as you want that. There are plenty of women who appreciate intelligent, sensitive men. Good luck!

[applegrove]

10. I was harrassed and suffered from depression and now ptsd. One thing that

helped me climb out of a hole was reading Malcolm X's biography (I think written by Alex Haley). Malcolm lead a new life every decade of his life. He'd learn something major and move to new challenges. It was like he was a different person. So take the long view. If you did you'd realize how truly young you are. You have lots of time to get out there and play/go to school. Why not try and take a night course this summer? Something that has always interested you and you will meet like-minded people. There are lots of people out there exactly like you.

[buddysmellgood]

11. Yep. Been there. Dropped the booze, got some help/drugs, things are much better.

[Extend a Hand]

12. I started having terrible anxiety attacks

a year or so ago as I quit smoking and went through the death of my mother. I really thought these attacks were a result of the stress in my life. I went to the Dr. for a physical because my husband was planning retiring and I wasn't sure how good our insurance would be after he quit. I was diagnosed with a liver disease. Once I started the treatment for the liver disease the attacks went COMPLETELY away.

Someday future generations will look back on our clumsy attempts to treat illness that manifests itself with emotional and/or mental symptoms like we look back on the practice of bloodletting for minor ailments.

I hope you'll be as lucky as me in finding a diagnosis and treatment that works for you.

[Maru Kitteh]

13. My sister suffered a psychotic break, and I still don't know why.

During her episode, she was able to express that she loved me. She begged me to help her "make it stop," and "get me back." It's all I have left to hang on to.

She expresses nothing but hate for me now because she accuses me of wanting our mom "all to herself," but she refuses to contribute to Mom's care at all. It's just so much easier to blame me for everything.

I know she's illl. It's my damn business to recognize all of this. I just get tired.



but I love her

[Locut0s]

14. Very sorry to hear that. Emotional problems are the worst when they affect family relations. nt.