DO GOOD

[OneGrassRoot]

I embrace the "do-gooder" moniker with pride. I'm tired of right-wing conservatives poisoning words like compassion, empathy, cooperation and community over the last two decades. It's time we take it back. :)

(I don't know what to put in the subject line to get more attention for something positive -- even "HELP A DUer" didn't work. Any suggestions, please let me know. My most recent posts concerning Wishadoo! have been unrecommended.)

:shrug:

Since these OPs sink like rocks lately, I'm just posting a reminder about a DUer in need with a deadline coming up at the end of April: Phrigndumass

Remember that the admins gave me permission to announce Wishlist posts of DUers in need on a regular, though limited, basis. This makes life easier, rather than members having to get permission to do so. So, if you have something you need, or to offer, I invite you to check out and join Wishadoo!

DU has a private group there, as well as your own private Wishlist, for those who aren't comfortable asking for help, or offering, publicly.


Here is a DU POST sharing background about Phrigndumass's need. (:rofl: that name cracks me up every time I type it)

Here is his WISHLIST POST with a blue "CLICK TO DONATE" button at the end of the post, taking you to his fundraising page.



If this is the first time you're hearing of Wishadoo (there are many new names here now), you can learn more here.

There's a lot going on at Wishadoo!, with tools to help us connect and create more compassionate, cooperative communities -- both online and in our physical communities.

WISHLIST, GROUPS, THE COMPASSION PAGES, GOOD NEWS, a ResourceWiki and more; BLOGS FOR GOOD, BOOKS FOR GOOD and a COMMUNITY MARKETPLACE OF COMPASSION are coming soon...

PM me if you have any questions or if you'd like to be involved in any way.

:hi:

[TxVietVet]

1. I was in the Military for many years and worked construction for 35 years.

Here's the main thing my dad taught me and it's a lesson I had to learn on my on.

DON'T NEVER BUY ANYTHING YOU CAN'T PAY FOR IN A 40 HOUR WEEK.

Now, I pity the guy. He's got problems. But, he can make it through with or without his house. There are alternatives. I've met many that got gobbled up in the real estate deal of having bigger and better 'cause some finance company says I could.

Live and learn. Get out to the debt and bank money. Living beyond one's means is a disaster.

[phrigndumass]

2. Thank you for your post, TxVietVet

I hear you.

:hi:

On Edit to say: It's the skyrocketing medical bills that are taking away my house. My misfortunes are two-fold: First, I didn't have adequate savings to cover all the medical bills that have been accumulating for more than two years now. Second, I have to sell my house at a time when the downed housing market makes it necessary to sell at a loss.

But I do hear you, and I do understand.

.

[TxVietVet]

11. I'm sorry if I offended you. Please accept my apology.

I meant no offense. I was trying to offer an example.

There are many people in this country that are in the position you are in. It's hard to get out of. It takes time. I know. There are many in the town I left that lost factory jobs, couldn't make house payments and had no medical insurance. They lost everything. A lot came through the area I worked in. A lot were greedy and it bit them. A lot were unfortunate and the times caught them when they were vunerable.

Remember this, this too shall pass. You will get through this as time passes. It looks as though you have a support group to help. I know many that don't and seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I've been down and out a couple of times. The good Lord always seemed to hand me a way out and get me back on my feet.

These day, since I've retired, all I do is service work for a couple of charities. I give back now that I can afford it. I offer my time to help those in need.

Things will get better. I've lost lots of things and that's all they were, things. When I was on the bottom of the ladder in the pit of despair, there was only one way out and that was up.

Have a nice day. I'm sorry if I offended you.

[bobbolink]

15. I trust that when you "volunteer to help those in need" that you aren't judging and criticizing

them?

That doesn't "help", and is precisely why so many don't go to "help" agencies.

[TxVietVet]

16. Thank you.

[bobbolink]

17. You're welcome. There is a lot of pain in "those in need" which needs protecting.

[phrigndumass]

18. I took no offense, and your advice was wise =)

You remind me of my cousin, who also offered similar advice to me. He believes it's better to buy outright than to owe money to anyone or accumulate debts. And he lives a good life because of that ... he is retired with no mortgage, no car payment, etc. Perhaps he has good mental health because of his wise choices.

:hi:

[TxVietVet]

24. One has to plan things out.

You can buy outright, if you have the money to do that. I learned to pay myself by investing and saving. I've been down the road looking for work with all my clothes in the back of my truck and a few bucks in my pocket, not knowing if the next job was a thousand miles down the road.

Like I said before, this too shall pass. You'll get through this. It doesn't seem that way when the walls are coming down. All we have is today. Take it one day at a time.
.

Feel free to send me a private message.

[OneGrassRoot]

19. ....

:hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

3. I've worked 60 hours a week for 18 years, with no break other than funerals...

Self-employed, no benefits, no safety net.

Nada.

I'm all about personal responsibility. Absolutely. Yet I wouldn't think of judging someone's situation unless I know ALL of the details.

You say don't buy anything you can't pay for in a 40 hour week. The thing is, many people DO stay within their means, given their current employment. But, as we all know, that employment can be gone in an instant.

Nothing is right or just right now...certainly nothing is fair. And, yes, many are learning the hard way.

But it's kind of hard to know what "living beyond one's means" even MEANS these days, when jobs and income and safety nets (for those blessed to have them still) are disappearing at alarming rates.

:shrug:

[Pacifist Patriot]

5. I couldn't agree more.

My congregation is struggling to help a family right now that some have been quick to judge similarly as having unwisely spent beyond their means. Their house is no McMansion, but it's in a decent neighborhood. Their cars aren't the latest models, but they aren't rust-ridden heaps either. They don't "look" poor. And when they made their spending decisions, they weren't.

But:

Their property taxes have tripled since they closed on the house.
Their home owners' insurance has doubled since they closed on the house.
Hence their monthly mortgage payments are significantly higher than they were when they purchased.
Meanwhile, foreclosures and short sales in the neighborhood have crashed home values. So even though they purchased before the home prices in their neighborhood skyrocketed, they do not have the necessary equity to either refinance or sell and move somewhere else. Forget the cost of the move itself.

Additionally:

The mother has been laid off (company moved her department's jobs to China) and unable to find full-time work in over a year. She is waiting tables for minimum wage plus tips and earning pennies on her previous dollars.

The father's company has had to institute wage cuts and he is now taking home 65% of his salary four years ago, plus the company has increased the amount withheld for lower benefits. So his overall compensation is more like half.

They didn't do anything ridiculous while they were earning. They did have savings that tied them over for about nine months (more than most of us have I would bet) after the wife lost her job, but now they have almost depleted those savings and are probably just a few short months away from losing their home.

I'm really tired of the knee jerk response that people make dumbass decisions and should now suffer for it. I'm sure many did, but painting everyone with the same brush is cruel and I don't care how someone got where they are, suffering is suffering.

[OneGrassRoot]

7. Thanks for sharing that, Pacifist Patriot...

I don't consider myself a religious person, though certainly respect others' faith. I definitely feel I need to reach out to progressive churches regarding Wishadoo! So often it's churches that have a community already in place, and they'd reach out to help others directly if they knew how.

I even know atheists who attend the Unitarian Universalist Church, for example, 'cause it's all about community.

They don't expect someone to join the church or convert or anything, they simply want to help others.

I'm glad you have such a group to join with and help others, or be helped if the need arises.

:hug:

[InvisibleTouch]

4. You get unrecs about Wishadoo?? That's crazy.

Here's a rec from me. I love your idea, just wish I had more time and focus to get more involved with it.

[OneGrassRoot]

8. Thanks much...

:hi:

I appreciate it.

:)

[phrigndumass]

6. Here's a graph update for everyone

Amount raised to date: $860
Goal to raise: $8,000
Amount to goal: $7,140

Thank you to OneGrassRoot and to all for helping me this way! I've been spending what energy I have preparing my home for sale. It hasn't been easy, but with the help of family and friends to get it ready, it is now showing well.

My employer asked to demote me a couple weeks ago, but knowing my rights while on disability, I didn't accept his offer and will return to the same position when I finish disability. But he has said that I will now have no accommodations for my illness, in retaliation for not accepting the demotion and pay cut.








.

[OneGrassRoot]

9. kick n/t

[OneGrassRoot]

10. Thanks to those who have helped and who care. :) n/t

[a la izquierda]

12. K & R

I'd love to help, but I can't right at the moment. Sorry :(
Good luck, Phrigndumass. I wish I could send a little something, but I'm looking at no pay this summer and my husband's job may evaporate as well.

[OneGrassRoot]

20. Please...no need to be sorry at all.

Just kicking this and expressing your support is a huge gift in and of itself. I know phrign' feels that way for sure.

These are scary times. I hope things flow much more smoothly for you and your husband than you anticipate.

Sending hugs of support in advance, to pave the way...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[phrigndumass]

25. Thanks for wishing me luck, and same to you :)

Sounds like you are going through some tough times as well. I hope it all works out for you soon!

:hi:

.

[Dappleganger]

13. kicked

[OneGrassRoot]

21. ...

:loveya:

[malaise]

14. Great post

Rec
:hi:

[OneGrassRoot]

22. ...

:hug:

:hi:

[Dappleganger]

23. kicked