7-year-old girl gets plastic surgery to "correct" (GASP!) larger-than-usual ears

[Keith Bee]

Good Morning America continued its exploration of all-things-plastic-surgery on Thursday, interviewing seven-year-old Samantha Shaw, a first grader from South Dakota who recently went under the knife to pin back her cup ears and fix a fold on her right ear.

Apparently, the number of teens and children getting plastic surgery has gone up 30 percent over the last decade, with more and more young people resorting to operations in order to avoid bullying. However, Samantha told Juju Chang that she hasn't been bullied, per se. Her mom said that others have made comments in front of Samantha -- with adults being worse than other kids -- but confirmed that the surgery was more preventative, so that her daughter wouldn't get bullied in the future.

New York Dr. Steven Pearlman, who performed the surgery free of charge thanks to the Little Baby Face Foundation, strongly believes that any abnormality can result in torture on the playground. But when asked whether he actually suggests that children get plastic surgery to avoid bullying, Pearlman responded, "Well, it depends where you draw the line. If it's minor, if it's cosmetic, absolutely not. But in my book and most of the medical community, the plastic surgery community, ears that stick out is not a cosmetic issue."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/14/7-year-old-plastic-surgery_n_849156.html

See, it's shit like this that makes me think that maybe, just maybe, the bin Ladens of the world are fucking right about us.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

1. Well it's a lot easer than making her head bigger to compensate. n/t

[PeaceNikki]

5. I lol'd

[HysteryDiagnosis]

7. As intended. I kid of course, a little levity never hurt anyone. n/t

[ZombieHorde]

2. Won't that affect how her ears grow? I guess I don't very much about plastic ear surgery. nt

[pnwmom]

56. The doctor said no - the ears are almost fully developed.

[angstlessk]

3. WTF does a 7 year old getting here ears chopped have to do with bin landen????

You DO KNOW that the things that continue to grow after you are all growed up is your ears and your nose...so she may look like dumbo come her 45th year!

[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[uppityperson]

16. Americans are trite egotistical fools, concerned only with looks and money, and

Osama is trying to show that to the world. Something like that.

Good for Samantha, I hope she stays happy.

[pnwmom]

57. The girl had been facing taunts like "Monkey Ears!" from her classmates

and even worse from adults.

I don't blame the mother for seeking help.

[Teaser]

119. mind your damn business

this is this girl's business, and her family's.

what the fuck do you have to do with it?

[uppityperson]

126. Excuse me but wtf? I was trying to figure out that Osama had to do with this

Trying to give some sort of answer as to any way they could be connected. Perhaps if you read further down the post you are so rudely replying to you'd see me saying that same thing, it is Samantha's business and her family's.

I wrote "Good for Samantha, I hope she stays happy" and you cuss at me? :eyes:

[Nye Bevan]

4. Kids can be cruel. The doctor performed the operation for free.

I'm not sure why you say "shit like this".

[SharonAnn]

89. I had that surgery in 1958. I had inherited my father's ears and was

teased (bullied) all the time. The are large and stuck straight out. Even with a girl's hairdo, my ears stuck out through the hair. So, at the age of 12, I underwent the knife.

They were altered to lay back closer to my head and "Voila", problem solved. I'm was glad my parents had it done for me, I've always been glad it was done, and still think there are times to do such things.

This was also done for one of my brothers.

Not only kids can be cruel about such things. And it's something that is so easily corrected. In a way, it's like braces, only purely surgical. And, with braces, I had to have several teeth removed first because one was missing and there was not enough room for all my teeth in my jaw.

So, though I'd never be taken for a super-model, the plastic surgery on my ears and the orthodonture work gave me a more "typical" appearance and made life a lot easier.

[spooky3]

98. Well said. I totally agree with this.

[pnwmom]

111. I agree. This is no more of a big deal than braces for kids

who have healthy teeth and bite but want to look better. I'm surprised by all the people here who dismiss the pain of a girl who's been living with a taunt like "Monkey Ears."

[ChimpersMcSmirkers]

6. Yeah, Bin Laden is right. Give us all a break. The surgery looks plenty appropriate.

I'd want those ears fixed too. Jesus, one of them is currled over. Poor girl. You're preaching to her that she should just suck that up? What arrogance.

[Peregrine Took]

9. My mom used to be a nanny in London and in those days they used to tape

a kids ears back from infancy if they stuck out. I wonder why they didn't do it to Prince Charles?

[pnwmom]

15. Maybe they did and it didn't work. n/t

[GreenArrow]

25. Maybe they did and it did work? n/t

.

[pnwmom]

36. LOL. n/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

10. What has she got against the President?

[Cleita]

11. I don't see any difference to correcting harelips and such

that are done on children. Pinning back dumbo ears and other corrections is pretty common on kids.

[pnwmom]

61. I agree. Or braces so kids can have perfect teeth

(that actually push them closer together and make them harder to clean.)

[pnwmom]

12. So she can get the operation done for free now,

or wait till she's a teen and REALLY self-conscious, and then her parents would have to pay.

I vote for now.

This is a very simple operation -- much simpler than orthodontics, for example, which is often done these days for purely cosmetic reasons (such as healthy teeth with gaps).

[Dappleganger]

13. Don't have a problem with her case.

When it's done early the scarring is much less and they heal more easily. Her right ear is very obvious and if I were the parent of such a child and had the means, it's something which may be considered.

We have a nephew with cerebral palsy with obvious physical deformities and he's had numerous surgeries. Let me tell you that kids can be insanely cruel in elementary school. Things have been said to him that no child should ever hear. If the situation can be helped beforehand than what's the problem?

Life is hard enough as it is, it's not like she got a breast enlargement in middle school.

[uppityperson]

14. Pre/post picture. In this case I think it is appropriate. Same with cleft lip in a boy I know.

Do you object to cleft lip plastic surgery? This doesn't fall into what I consider undue plastic surgery.

[wickerwoman]

26. Her ears aren't that big.

Certainly not to the extent that a better haircut wouldn't conceal them.

I don't have a problem with cleft palate surgery, or surgery for kids with huge strawberry marks on their faces, etc. But this girl's left ear is perfectly normal and the right could have been corrected a lot less extremely or could easily have been covered with longer, better-styled hair. It's not really any more "disfiguring" than her freckles or a little gap-toothedness. Would you support skin-bleaching and braces for seven year olds?

If it makes her more confident, that's great, but what will the long-term impacts be when she's still growing? And doesn't it place/teach a pretty high standard of appearance for a kid? Isn't there also a risk that she'll grow up even more insecure about her remaining "imperfections". Thin hair? Better buy extensions. Big nose? Time for a nose job. Where does it stop?

I'd rather tell kids that our differences and imperfections give us character. A dentist once suggested that my parents file down my pointy canine teeth and I refused to let them (OK, mostly because I thought looking like a vampire was cool). Anyway, now I'm so glad they didn't. The teeth wore down eventually anyway (just as this girl would very likely have grown into her ears), so it would have been a complete waste of money, and I'm glad that I still look like *me* and not Madison Avenue's idea of what I should look like.

[pnwmom]

39. LOTS of 7 year olds get braces these days, some with full head gear.

And I disagree that her freckles are "disfiguring." Many people think freckles are cute. They also fade; I had as many as she did as a child but they were gone by the time I was in my twenties.

[wickerwoman]

42. I think freckles are cute too.

That's my point. I think big ears are cute and gap teeth and cowlicks and knobby knees. But I guess any kid that doesn't meet Madison Avenue's standard for cuteness needs to go under the knife (or buy some expensive product to correct their "disfigurement").

And it's ridiculous to put braces on a 7 year old when they're still losing teeth. What's the point of "correcting" teeth that are going to fall out anyway?

[pnwmom]

44. Orthodontists sometimes recommend it when the bite needs to be

corrected. The jaw is moveable at a young age. This can give the new adult teeth more room, too.

I don't know a lot about this, but one of my friend's daughters had this done to correct a strong underbite. She had to wear braces with headgear.

And when I was taking my teen to the orthodontist, I saw many younger children there, too.

[blueamy66]

Those are BIG ears?

Geebus....what is the world becoming? She looks fine to me.

My fiance's son has the family ears, nose and acne....which Accutane took care of - but we are worried about the long term effects.

He is beautiful to me and is very self-confident.

Screw the pretentious people in this world.

[pnwmom]

37. Accutane is actually higher risk than that ear surgery.

But I would let my child use it if nothing else was working.

[blueamy66]

70. I know, but, as you said, nothing else was working.

I worry, his Dad worries....but so far, so good.

[pnwmom]

107. Well, the other alternative,

a decade or more of antibiotics, has its own risks. We also considered Accutane for one of our children, but that child couldn't use it for health reasons.

I know what it's like to have a child with this problem -- and I've seen some teens with almost miraculous Accutane cures. I'm crossing my fingers for yours.

[blueamy66]

155. thank you

probably gonna come back at some point....but not my decision.....love him though

[JVS]

38. I think it's the angle, not the size.

[petronius]

45. I think the 'after' looks less natural

Although I see her point - the one on the left is like a little pink Shrek. :)

I'd call this unnecessary, but I'd need to know a lot more about the risks of ear surgery before I called it unacceptable...

[pnwmom]

59. The "before" was getting her taunts of "Monkey Ears!"

Her straight fine hair wasn't covering them. No one's going to notice the "after."

[blueamy66]

72. But you know....

I still have straight, fine hair. I was 6" tall in the 10th grade. My feet are huge. I was adopted.....both of my parents had dark hair and dark eyes...me - blue eyed, blonde. :-)

Yes, kids can be cruel and maybe I was lucky, as I went to a small, private Catholic school and maybe had a different "set" of friends. I don't remember any taunts or torture on the playground.

I grew up and grew into my height and hey, I'm a natural blonde....some women pay alot of money for my hair color.

I'm torn. I guess that I still think that 7 is a bit too young for pure cosmetic surgery.

[pnwmom]

78. What are you implying? That it was the girl's fault that she was taunted?

Why does it matter that YOU weren't taunted? SHE has been, that's what matters.

No one made fun of me for being tall, either. And things were fine in my Catholic high school. But in 5th and 6th grades in public school, I was called names -- Brillo and S.O.S., because of my frizzy hair. And it hurt.

I think this girl's lucky that her mother's looking out for her. Would you think age 7 was too young to have a harelip corrected? One that doesn't cause a dysfunction, only an unusual appearance? Or to get an unsightly birthmark removed from her face? What's the difference?

[blueamy66]

87. you're comparing a harelip and a birthmark to ears

that are a bit too big? A cleft palate is a whole different story.....

Sorry, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one.

[pnwmom]

110. Her ears aren't especially big -- they're set at an odd angle,

and that won't improve with age.

I'm not comparing this with a cleft palate, which affects function; I'm comparing it with a mild harelip. Or with an unsightly facial birthmark. Most people would fix either of those things. Why not fix ears that jut out at a perpendicular angle instead of sitting close to the head?

[uppityperson]

127. "harelip" is a perjorative slur for cleft lip and of course a cleft palate is a whole different stor

Please do not use "harelip" as it is a slur. Cleft lip is the proper term. And of course a cleft palate is different. However I referred to a cleft lip, NOT a cleft palate. Edited to see that you weren't replying to me, but since is in this subthread I am responding.

A cleft lip does not interfere with being able to eat and is fixable with plastic surgery. The only reason to fix a cleft lip is for looks. Same as Samantha's ears.

A cleft palate can interfere with the ability to eat, can make a child more likely to other health issues and is not comparable to Samantha's ears.

Again, "harelip" is comparable to calling someone a n*, or the like. Please stop using it.

[blueamy66]

154. I didn't start it....

just continued on with the argument

[uppityperson]

158. I know, but still, it's ok to not use it even if someone else does first. Thank you.

[blueamy66]

159. I apologize.

sorry

[uppityperson]

170. Thank you and hugs to you.

Having a young friend with a cleft palate I was exposed to how hurtful it can be. Thank you again, seriously.

[blueamy66]

172. right back at ya

have a good weekend

[uppityperson]

128. Please use the term cleft lip, not "harelip" as that is used to taunt and tease those who have cleft

lip. Thank you. Thanks for supporting Samantha, so do I.

[pnwmom]

133. Thanks for the correction. I will do so. n/t

[uppityperson]

136. Thank you, it may be a minor gripe, but having heard this from a friend with cleft lip

rather like other descriptions that have been used since we were kids that one day you go "oh!" about ("that's so gay" "eenie meenie minie moe, catch a n* by the toe" sort of stuff. Yes, we heard that last when I was young, my parents changed it to piggie).

And thank you for not taking offense at my request. That happens too often these days and I appreciate the thoughtfulness.

[pnwmom]

146. No, it's not minor, I completely understand.

I agree with your other examples, too.

And I don't know what anyone taught about me about "eenie meenie" -- but what I HEARD and SAID was "catch a nickel by the toe."

I always wondered how you could do that.

:hi:

[vim876]

166. What?

I always thought it was "catch a tiger by it's toe." It seriously comes from that? Oh, poop.

[blueamy66]

73. The "after" haircut is absolutely awful.

what the heck?

[LisaL]

86. Her haircut didn't change. She has her hair pulled into pony tails

in the after photo.

[blueamy66]

88. sure looks alot different to me

but whatever....done with the thread.....

[pnwmom]

112. It's different because it's been squished under bandages.

The picture seems to have been taken right after they cut the bandages off.

[petronius]

99. I notice that too - looks like they put her in front of a fan before snapping

:shrug:

It doesn't help the comparison...

[pnwmom]

115. No. They'd just taken her bandages off, which had covered

much of her head, so her hair was in disarray.

[petronius]

157. Obviously I didn't mean that literally...

:)

[LisaL]

84. Because you know she had it done.

[Mariana]

53. Wow, what a difference!

I don't think it's unreasonable, either. My sister had a large mole on her nose that was removed when she was about the same age, and it was a GOOD thing. My parents would have had it done earlier, but my sister had medical issues that made even very minor surgery more risky, so they couldn't do it until those were resolved. I don't see how this is any different.

That little girl very much resembles my stepdaughter when she was that age, especially in the "after" picture. My stepdaughter grew up to be an absolutely beautiful young woman.

[johnroshan]

63. She looks perfect in both the pictures!

What a wonderful message we send to our kids. Don't be different!! Always conform!

Cleft lips create actual difficulties in eating or speech development. If the folding causes hearing problems, it would be an excellent reason to go under the knife.

[seabeyond]

91. i get what is being said, but really, i kinda like the first picture better and think

she would have grown into them and been a good thing, not bad.

all she is seeing when looking in mirror are her ears. but looking as a whole, i think first picture looks better

[pnwmom]

113. She wouldn't have grown into them because the problem isn't the size.

They're not especially big. The problem is that instead of sitting close to the head, they stick out at almost a 90 degree angle. And that won't improve with age.

[seabeyond]

123. i think with her facial structure, the style of ear in the first, works. softens the face

i am not criticizing her. she is not reading my post. i am empathitic with her feelings. i like the first picture over all, more than the second. i think the first picture matched her face better than the second.

and i hope she is happy and can put this behind her, and find the wonderful person she is adn celebrate that

[pnwmom]

124. I think her face is lovely in both pictures.

But the ears in the first are a distraction.

The problem with the 2nd picture is her hair -- the bandages had just been cut off so her hair is both flattened down and messy. When she wears it normally, her ears won't show at all -- as opposed to sticking out through her hair, as they did before.

[tuckessee]

101. Maybe it's just me but I don't see anything wrong with the before image.

Prehaps I'm just not as shallow and appearance oriented as I should be to be a good 21st century American.

[Mariana]

140. It's a shame that her classmates aren't like you.

If they weren't so shallow and appearance oriented, this little girl wouldn't have been facing the prospect of having them make fun of her appearance every school day for years.

[ecstatic]

102. Couldn't they just cover her ears with hair until she was older?

7 seems a little young for cosmetic surgery!

[pnwmom]

114. If you watch the video, you'll see that her fine, straight hair

doesn't really cover her ears. And you'll also see a girl who is thrilled to be getting her ears fixed -- there's no question that she wants this.

And she won't be eligible for this free surgery when she's an adult -- it's some organization that offers corrective surgery for "babies."

[LisaL]

150. So you suggest this kid should be going around trying to cover

her ears with hair? I don't see that being good for development.

[McCamy Taylor]

160. Her Pre-op ears looked better. She looked cute. Post op her ears look deformed.

[McCamy Taylor]

161. Wow. If only Winona Rider's parents had fixed her ears. She might not have endured years of ridicule

[proud2BlibKansan]

164. I doubt many people are looking at Winona's ears

Just sayin . . .

[Kurmudgeon]

17. 7 years old is too young, what if the rest of her head catches up with her ears?

[JanMichael]

19. The surgeon answered that

said that at that age, the ears are almost fully developed.

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. If you read the article you see that it wasn't that her ears were large,

it was more that one had a fold. They were pinned back and the fold was corrected.

[Ian David]

22. When she turns 21, she'll need an operation to make her ears bigger. n/t

[pnwmom]

47. No she won't. Her ears will be perfectly fine.

They can still continue to grow, but at an angle closer to her head.

[pnwmom]

46. Her ears won't flatten down by themselves, no matter

how big her head gets.

[LisaL]

83. No, at that age the ears are almost done growing.

That's why they can do these operations in young children.

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. In this case I don't see anything wrong with it.

In a society where most schools' "zero tolerance against bullying" is only lip service, I can see where this girl would have had a horrid time. Especially in the middle school years. I don't see what the hell that has to do with the bin Ladens of the world. :shrug:

[RebelOne]

31. Ditto. I agree. n/t

[Raine]

34. Me too

I'm sure they were just "pinned" back.

[JI7]

21. maybe it's the parent who is more worried about wanting a "perfect" looking kid

[pnwmom]

48. Maybe it's the parent who knows how mean other kids

can be.

It was a simple surgery, and it was done by an excellent surgeon. If they had waited till she was an adult she might not have been able to afford it -- and this doctor did it for free. I can't criticize that parent for making that choice. It's no worse than braces to correct gaps between teeth, or a number of other "corrections" I can think of.

[JI7]

67. kids would tease for many things, parents should teach that the kids teasing are the ones who are

wrong. changing your own kid just makes it seem like the kid who is being teased is the one who needs to change and not the other way around.

[pnwmom]

116. Oh please. Most good parents tell their children this,

but it doesn't really help when the child is alone on the playground being called "Monkey Ears."

It's great to be idealistic about what kind of world we should be living in, but our kids are stuck living in the real world, where words can hurt just as much as sticks and stones. Maybe even more.

[sendero]

23. Good for her..

... and a pox on people with so little empathy they can't even imagine what it is like to have such issues with your appearance.

[Mariana]

74. I agree with you.

This is a little girl. She didn't create the hostile environment she's forced to spend a huge part of her time in, and it's not her responsibility to change it, and she certainly shouldn't have to learn to live with it. WHY do so many people think that little children should be made to put up with years of cruelty that no adult would tolerate for five minutes?

[uppityperson]

129. Exactly. eom

[cali]

24. OK, you've got my vote for the combination of insane and inane that

make up your comment. you're getting a lot of shit for that idiotic remark. You ever so richly deserve it. Do try thinking before posting.

[pintobean]

27. This is the type of thread that

people unrec without comment.

[zappaman]

28. I think it's great if it makes her happy.

Honestly, her parents should have done it at birth when they saw her ears.
Would have saved her pain later on.

[blueamy66]

35. I wanted a new car when I turned 16.

I didn't get it.

Damn my parents!

[pnwmom]

49. The surgeon did this work for free. If they had waited

till she was 16 or 18 they might not have been able to afford it.

[Pryderi]

29. I met a couple on a bus that had their 8 month old baby get a tattoo.

[pnwmom]

62. That's nuts. Where was it? (I don't believe

in piercing a baby's ears, either, by the way.)

[Pryderi]

125. Portland, OR.

[pnwmom]

134. Haha. You know what I meant. n/t

[Pryderi]

138. Quite honestly, I was too stunned to ask ...

[pnwmom]

145. I meant, where on the baby was the tattoo placed?

(What stunned you, anyway?)

[Pryderi]

156. I was stunned that they had their baby tattooed, it didn't occur to me to even ask where

they put the tattoo.

[Liberal_in_LA]

30. I thought the 'fold back the ears' surgery was not uncommon for kids

particularly boys who don't have long hair to hide the flapping ears.

[SharonAnn]

90. It's not uncommon. Particularly in my large extended family with these ears.

[Nye Bevan]

32. ( OP realizes ridiculousness of post and slinks away in embarrassment.... nt)

[blueamy66]

33. My fiance's bro had this done....

the scar tissue caused melanoma 20+ years later....hope the surgeon informed the "parents" that is is a possibility....

[pnwmom]

50. What??? Are you sure it was melanoma? If that were true,

why wouldn't melanoma be linked to scar tissue anywhere on the body?

I've never heard of scar tissue causing melanoma. However, it is linked to genes and to sun exposure. Are you sure it wasn't some other kind of skin cancer?

[blueamy66]

71. I could be incorrect.

BUT, yes, he had skin cancer on his ear and his doctor attributed it to the surgery AND sun exposure.

[Oilwellian]

40. I had the very same surgery 45 years ago

And I even had "disfiguring" freckles as well. :eyes:

I'm glad my parents had it done. I also have a son who was born with the same ears and he was given the option. When the teasing got to be too much for him, he asked to have the surgery.

It's good to see other people address the smugness in this thread.

[wickerwoman]

43. I think you misunderstood my post.

See the clarification in post 42.

I have freckles. Still. Heaps of them. My point (and the reason I put "disfiguring" in quotation marks) is that they aren't that big a deal. Society just wants us to feel like crap about ourselves so we'll buy stuff. So they come up with "disfiguring" traits like sticky-out ears or freckles or frizzy hair or pudgy what-not to get us to consume whatever they're selling.

I don't think it's "smug" to suggest that another (and possibly better) way to handle this would be to encourage the girl to accept who she is, rather than caving in to peer pressure that she change her *gasp* big ears so that other people will accept her.

[pnwmom]

52. That's a great attitude to have but most of us do things

to "improve" our appearances. I don't see why fixing her ears is any worse than cosmetic braces, which the majority of kids get these days. (My mother always told me the gaps between my small teeth just made it easier to clean them, and I accepted that. But these days, almost all middle-class kids with teeth like mine get braces.) And why is fixing her ears worse than fixing a harelip?

This girl will have enough challenges in life -- all kids do. She could spend years fighting acne, for instance. I see nothing wrong with her parents giving her one less thing to feel self-conscious about.

[czernobog]

41. Don't see what's wrong with it

Not sure what the big deal is. If there is a procedure available to correct undesirable physical features, why not go for it? IMO, her ears were fine, but if she/her family were unsatisfied with it, I don't see a problem with having them altered via surgery.

[pnwmom]

60. Welcome to DU, czernobog! n/t

[czernobog]

75. Thanks!

:)

[Zanzoobar]

51. Bin Laden?

I dearly beg you, expound.

[pnwmom]

54. If your child had been called "MONKEY EARS!" don't you think

you would have helped her to get the surgery?

Or if you had heard adults say -- in front of her -- "oh my god, what happened to her ears, that's so gross!" (You can scold the adult who said this but you can't "unring the bell.")

Watch the video. It's clear to me that the girl herself wanted this very much -- her mother wasn't the driving force here. She was so happy to be doing this. I'm glad for both of them.

[wickerwoman]

64. If someone called my kid "Monkey Ears",

I would tell him/her what my parents told me when kids in first grade called me "Retard". Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

I don't think 7 is too young to start teaching kids that life's too short to live according to anyone's expectations but your own. So she got her ears fixed. Now, they'll call her "Pinhead" or make fun of her clothes or her lisp or her lunchbox or any of the gazillion other tiny differences that allow bullies to torment their victims.

It's not about her. It's not about what she looks like. It's about the insecure, socially stunted other kids (and sadly adults) who feel the need to tear other people down to feel better about themselves. And I wish her parents had told her this instead of driving her to a doctor to "fix" her.

Bullying sucks. But all of the best, kindest, smartest, most empathetic people I know were bullied. And it's to some extent because they were bullied that they came to see how much it sucks and how important it is to stick up for the little guy. I wouldn't go so far as to say "bullying builds character" but I wish that the *adults* in this little girl's life had addressed the real problem (the bullies and the clueless other parents- not the ears).

Of course she wanted the surgery. She's seven. Kids with "weird" names often want to change them and then when they grow up, they're happy they didn't because their "weird" name is now distinctive. Whose to say when she's older and a little more mature that she won't embrace her difference.

I just think it's a shame that this teachable moment was used to emphasize the importance of conforming to the unreasonable expectations of others rather than promoting self-acceptance.

[pnwmom]

81. Bully for you. That doesn't work for every kid.

It didn't work for me when other kids were calling me "Brillo" and S.O.S.

Unlike you, I think that it's fine when parents try to help avoid some kinds of unnecessary suffering. There are plenty of other challenges that this girl will have -- she doesn't have to bear being called "Monkey Ears."

Do you also think that children shouldn't have unsightly facial birthmarks removed, or harelips corrected, or teeth straightened -- for cosmetic reasons, to American standards? What's the difference?

[wickerwoman]

144. We're probably going to have to agree to disagree.

I just want to say I've been bullied my whole life for being overweight and a tomboy. I still get called a "dyke" and I was bullied in my last job. And what's helped me get through it is starting to develop the psychological armor early. High school was actually no big deal for me because by the time I got there I already didn't give a shit what any of those people thought about me. Would I have been able to find the same strength if my parents had taken me in for liposuction at seven (which I would have enthusiastically agreed to at seven just as this girl did) or forced me to wear dresses?

People can live their own lives the way they want. If they have the money to correct the cleft lip and really feel like it will make their lives better, then they don't need my permission. But I don't think it will stop the bullying and I still think it's a lost opportunity to teach self-acceptance.

What happens when she's 13 and comes out of the closet? Will her parents tell her to hide who she is so that she can blend in? What happens when she's in a car accident and ends up in a wheelchair? Will her parents keep her at home so she won't be teased for her disability?

Screw that. I prefer to keep it about the bullies and let people live their lives as exactly who they are. Society is full of assholes who will try to tear you down. And life is just too goddamn short to let other people dictate how you look, what you wear, who you love, or how you spend you time.

Peace.

[BoWanZi]

139. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look normal. No shame in it whatsoever.

More power to the little girl and her parents. I so wish I had surgery to correct my lazy eye when I was young (cosmetically that is). I hated the teasing.

Screw you all who think the surgery was unnecessary. The little girl will be much happier as the years go on.

[JI7]

69. there are girls who are teased for being flat chested, should parents go out get implants for them ?

[wickerwoman]

76. Gay kids are teased mercilessly. Is the answer to "fix" them so they can pass as straight

to spare them the pain of being teased for being different?

Or is it to make sure they know that they are perfect, loved and beautiful exactly the way they are and that the problem is with the bullies, not with them?

[pnwmom]

85. You can easily correct "Monkey Ears." Gender orientation

cannot and should not be changed.

[wickerwoman]

143. Many gay kids can pass for straight.

Should people ask them to to avoid the pain of being bullied or teased?

At what point do we recognize that it's about the bullies, not the kid? And isn't this a healthier mindset to teach the kid than "OK, sweetie, I'll help you look/act/be normal"?

[LisaL]

151. In your example, shouldn't it be up to the child whether to

"come out" or not?
This child wanted her ears corrected, she wasn't forced to do it.

[pnwmom]

82. This is a much less invasive surgery -- more like getting

an unsightly facial birthmark removed (in many cases, much simpler). Would you be against that, too? Or fixing a harelip that doesn't cause any functional problem? Or straightening teeth for cosmetic reasons?

[pengillian101]

55. Kate Hudson's ear didn't hinder her life any.

[pnwmom]

58. "Monkey Ears!" is one of the taunts used by the girl's classmates.

I don't blame the mother for trying to help her.

[pengillian101]

66. Monkey ears - I bet Kate probably heard the same and just look at her now ;-)

[JI7]

68. the girl in the OP's ears don't even stand out as much as Kate's in this pic

[pnwmom]

80. But THIS little girl is being called "Monkey Ears"!

What does Kate Hudson and her ears have to do with it? And you don't know whether she ever suffered because of her ears.

[ecstatic]

103. I don't think there's an adult who escaped childhood without ever being called a name

either by another child or by an adult.

[pnwmom]

105. That's funny, because more than one here said it never happened to them.

But it's happening to this girl repeatedly.

You're probably right that everyone gets called a name at some point -- randomly. But not everyone is picked on repeatedly, over time, for the same physical characteristic.

Do you think kids with large facial birthmarks should have to keep them, too? After all, they're just cosmetic. What about harelips that don't interfere with eating? Or teeth that are healthy but crooked or gapped?

Are you opposed to fixing any of these differences, or just ears?

[pnwmom]

79. Kate has naturally full, very curly hair. If she wanted to,

she could disguise her ears. (As she has for most of her career. I've never seen her with straight hair and exposed ears.)

This little girl has fine straight hair and doesn't have that option.

Besides, why is getting your ears fixed worse than getting a harelip corrected or a facial birthmark removed? All of these would be "merely" cosmetic changes. (A cleft palate is more serious than a harelip.)

[Poll_Blind]

65. No shit, I once worked with a guy, a computer engineer, and he brought in his...

...new baby. Still in the carrier, so like 2-3 months at the most. Beautiful little egg-headed kid like his dad. His wife had brought the child into his office and when I walked by, they invited me in to show him off. I said it was a cute baby and they were like "Oh isn't he though! Thank you!"

And then they both got quiet and more than a little grim and the dad said "Yeah, but we're going to take him in for his ears. See how his ears are like that? He kind of looks like Dopey from the seven dwarves."

So right about then I remember my mind desperately calling out, inwardly, asking exactly what expression I was supposed to wear and for Christ's sake what I was supposed to say, if anything. I'm sure the best, neutral, thing I probably said was "Uhhhh..."

And then the wife says "Yep, we're going to take him into the doctor and have his ears fixed up next week."

And the husband says some bullshit about it being a simple procedure and how they cut the cartilage here and there and then pull it together or whatthefuck, but I wasn't listening.

And then here is where I made a big mistake. Both of them had college degrees and both of them were snooty and both of them were Jewish. I know this because they seemed to regularly slip the college and the Jewish into conversations, usually to explain away some snooty point or other.

And while having college degrees or being Jewish really didn't have anything to do with anything, every once in a while the husband would explain something and then he'd tack on "It's a Jewish thing." And my part was to nod sagely for a million different extremely wise reasons and let the conversation continue. The particular company I was at was really small and so we'd go out to dinner with each other (as a company) quite a bit. And so there, during those dinners every once in a while you'd get the "Jewish thing" from the wife. But I always felt (and my knowledge of Judaism has grown to support this much more over the years) that it didn't have to do with them being Jewish. Or college graduates. It had to do with them being generally know-it-all shits who, if they could, would use the fact that they were both college graduates, and Jewish...as sort of a punctuation to preemptively shut down discussion of the merits of this-or-that statement that they'd made.

And so, I promised to recount to you my big mistake. Here it is. Because I'm generally an up-beat person (and certainly at work), somehow I felt it would be the best thing to just say what I felt.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with his ears. He's a baby. Why would you do that to a baby?" I just blurted it out like an idiot.

And I even said it in an upbeat tone, in a non-specific, hopefully non-threatening way. Like I wasn't talking about their baby but, ya know, babies in general.

Well that went over like a dozen shit-filled birthday cakes.

The husband, my co-worker, starts shaking his head in little short shakes. It was his way of reminding us all that we didn't have a Master's degree in whatever it was he took. Little "No" metronome.

"No. No. No. No. No...this is a thing that runs in the family. I had to have my ears done when I was a baby." he said, if you can imagine him saying it scoldingly. And I'm just getting a whiff off bullshit off this because I'm thinking that that would mean he would have had cosmetic surgery, as a baby, in like the 1950's when the wife could nolonger apparently contain her rage.

And then, because they were fucking apparently bukkake-drenched in shame about the fact that their kid had mildly-floppy ears, and that her husband's seed wasn't quite right or something, and I'd metaphorically pulled down his pants in front of his wife to reveal his inadequate tweeter...the wife says...

"It's a Jewish thing. You would never understand."

I had just walked into the office because they asked me to come in to take a look at their effin BABY.

I said all you can say, which I don't really remember exactly how I got out of there but I'm sure it was something like "Oh, sorry."

I was dying to say "No, it's not a Jewish thing. Or a college thing. It's a your-both-cocksuckers thing, and there's nothing wrong with your baby." But "Oh, sorry." was the quickest way out and it's not like it wouldn't have changed any minds.

I had almost entirely forgotten about this incident until I read this story. I hope the kid I saw as a baby is happy (this was about 10-12 years ago), but I have a feeling the more important question is whether his parents are.

PB

[JVS]

77. Of course a baby's ears are going to look big. They have no fucking hair!

[Zanzoobar]

95. Great post.

Cracked me up.

[pnwmom]

118. This child is a 7 year old who is dying to get her ears fixed.

And they are pretty much done growing and aren't going to change.

Not really comparable to getting this done to a baby.

[Odin2005]

92. Kids will find ANY reason to tease her if they want to.

It has nothing to do with her ears.

[pnwmom]

120. Then why do studies show that children with differences like this

do get teased more?

[Mariana]

152. There is a hell of a lot of denial going on in this thread

and a lot of blaming the victim, too.

I had horrendous buck teeth. I imagine this little girl feels very much like I did when my orthodontia was done. If so, I couldn't be happier for her.

[Moosepoop]

93. I have a daughter with large ears.

She escaped the very prominent nose that runs in my family, but she inherited the very prominent ears on her Dad's side. They look just like the "before" pics of this little girl, minus the fold on one.

When she was first born, an acquaintance recommended "pinning" her ears -- that acquaintance nearly got decked for the suggestion that my baby was in need of improvement.

Yes, as my daughter got old enough for school and friends, she heard a lot of "Dumbo" remarks and the like. Lots of tormenting from kids who, if her ears weren't large, would have just found something else to pick on her about. I taught her to deal with the taunts. Still, if she could have had them surgically altered, she would have -- right through middle and most of high school.

Her father died unexpectedly two years ago in an accident. Now she wouldn't trade her ears for anything -- she has "Daddy's ears," among other facial traits, and for her they are a reminder and a connection to him that she will always have.

I endured the same sort of taunting about my nose (and there's certainly no hairstyle that will conceal a nose). I grew up hating it, hating the jokes about it. In school, I would have changed it if I could have. But it's become my "family heirloom," handed down from my beloved grandfather to my mother and to my oldest sister and to me... all of them are gone now, but I see them all every time I look in the mirror. My nose is part of me, and I can't imagine my face with a different one.

I have a brother who was born with a harelip and cleft palate, that condition is not merely cosmetic and surgery is necessary to correct a whole set of medical issues that arise from it. There is NO comparison between a large nose or ears and a harelip/cleft palate as has been suggested in this thread.

The fold on this little girl's one ear is one thing, that may have been something I would have had corrected if she wanted it and a doctor recommended it, if she were my child. But altering the rest... no. I'm with you on that.

[pnwmom]

121. Not all harelips come with cleft palates. Some are mild

and the fix is mostly cosmetic. And what about unsightly facial birthmarks? They don't affect function. Would you insist that your child accept that, too? Or gapped or otherwise unsightly teeth that are perfectly healthy?

[Moosepoop]

148. Even "mild" clefts in lips require correction.

I'm not going to bother educating you on the reasons why, but the "fix" is not "mostly" cosmetic (though that is an important benefit, too). I stand by my earlier assertion that there is no comparison between a congenital abnormality -- a medical condition -- and a feature that is merely somewhat larger or smaller than someone else's.

"Unsightly" facial birthmarks? Are we talking about a port-wine stain that covers a large portion of the face, or a rather large freckle? Something in between? I'd say that "unsightly" is in the eye of the beholder. I do know one girl that had a birthmark on her face, it was dark brown and about an inch and a half long by half an inch high. She eventually had surgery to remove it, and the area looked worse after the "corrective" surgery than it did with the birthmark. Maybe she just had a bad surgeon, I don't know. But it looked better before the surgery.

As for what I would insist that my child accept, it would be anything that was not medically recommended. If she had gaps in her teeth, I would go by whether her dentist advised straightening for any actual dental benefit. Perhaps I would even opt for braces for cosmetic reasons only, that is still a far cry from authorizing surgery. If you insist on equating braces with surgery, I don't know what else to say to you.

You sound very emotional and defensive about this topic. Perhaps you feel that your parents should have chosen to get you a hair transplant and had all your teeth removed and replaced with a set of dentures of your choosing, I don't know. I simply shared a story about my daughter's experience with her ears, in reply to the OP, and you came at me peppering me with questions implying that I am somehow a bad parent. I don't think I'm the one you're mad at, so please don't take your childhood baggage out on me. Thanks.

[LisaL]

153. This child's ears were not symmetrical.

One was a "loop ear" and the other wasn't. I fail to see why it would be o'key to correct the loop ear, but not o'key to correct the ears from sticking out. If she is going to have surgery anyway, might as well fix both issues at once.

[Maine-ah]

94. considering the OP's comment

I wonder if they watched the video.

In this little girl's situation, I don't have a problem with it. I do have a problem with other types of CS on younger people where it's not really necessary. It's also not my body or my choice.

[AngryOldDem]

96. The kid was already getting teased

And mom was afraid that this would stunt her emotionally as the years went on. And with the vicious way kids tease, that is a concern -- the abuse would most likely only get worse.

She knows her daughter better than any of us.

[Maine-ah]

97. exactly.

[joeybee12]

100. I know a kid who had that done at a young age...and this was about 40 years ago...

yup, parents will do that for kids.

[Initech]

104. I had that same surgery done as a kid. Not kidding.

[kiva]

106. Loretta Young (actress to anyone too young to remember)

had a child by Clark Gable. Gable was married to someone else, and the morality clauses in their contracts - at least in Young's - made it impossible to admit the pregnancy, so Young 'adopted' a daughter.

The girl, Judy Lewis (later took the name of her stepfather) had her father's ears; when she was 7 her mom had her ears pinned to lessen the girl's resemblance to her biological father (Young never publicly acknowledged the truth of her daughter's parentage). This would have been in the early 40s, so this surgery has been going on for a long time.

[polly7]

108. I think it was great of the doctors to do this for her. Bullying, based on

looks has become an everyday nightmare for so many kids. A 13 y/o who lived not far from me killed herself a few days ago, bullied at her school and online. http://www.leaderpost.com/story_print.html?id=4620457&sponsor=

If Samantha's parents wanted to protect her and she wanted the surgery herself ... more power to them.

[Initech]

142. If I have kids I do not want to raise them in a society where bullying culture is accepted practice.

[vim876]

167. Then you'll be homeschooling. nt

[Initech]

171. Sad but true.

[Maat]

173. Actually, I do homeschool my kid.

Have for five years now (she's now 14), and completing 8th grade. That's one of the experiences she's been able to avoid - thank the One. To be more accurate, we homestudy through a charter school, meeting with a credentialed teacher once per month. It has been a very positive thing, all in all, for our family.

[AngryOldDem]

147. I'd rather take care of it now rather than deal with a suicide later.

It may sound extreme to some, but then we don't know this little girl and how this bullying is affecting her.

Some kids can weather the taunts and insults. Some can't. And once kids sense a big target, then all bets are off. Even if a child seems to be handling things well, you just never know.

[a la izquierda]

109. I had dumbo ears when I was a kid...

they poked through my hair, which fortunately, my mom never cut short. I don't think there's a picture of me before age 10 in which my ears didn't stick out through my hair. I got called Dumbo, Monkey, you name it. I didn't care too much, but in reality, the bullying wasn't that bad.
My husband also had ears that stuck out. He didn't get made fun of, though.

Our heads grew into our ears, luckily.

[Teaser]

117. Get off your fucking high horse.

I know a kid with cup ears. He gets mercilessly teased.

If it was me, and I was that kid, I would have wanted this surgery.

[davepdx]

122. I had the same surgery in 1957 at age 7

and I am so glad that my parents had the foresight and means to do this for me. My father told me that he was bullied when he was young because of his ears and that he didn't want me to go through those same experiences. I am thankful that my parents did such a big favor for me.

[kenny blankenship]

130. Should have gone for elf ears

[pnwmom]

132. Now that gives me the creeps.

To each his own, I guess.

[pnwmom]

131. What do doctors say is the best age for ostoplasty?

http://www.yourplasticsurgeryguide.com/other-procedures/otoplasty.htm

When Is the Best Time for Otoplasty?

Children's ears are most often fully developed by age 4. There are no additional risks associated with age. The procedure is usually performed to improve the appearance of the ears so that the child would not have to endure ridicule from peers throughout their childhood.

Firmer cartilage of fully developed ears in adults does not provide the same molding capacity as in children. Having the procedure at a young age is highly desirable for two reasons:

The cartilage is extremely pliable, thereby permitting greater ease of shaping.
The child will experience psychological benefits earlier from the cosmetic improvement.

[LanternWaste]

135. You are of course referring to the indictments...

"See, it's shit like this that makes me think that maybe, just maybe, the bin Ladens of the world are f***ing right..."

You are of course referring to the indictments, intolerance, and irrelevant judgements on a wholly valid, elective medical procedure, yes? Because I think that's what Bin Laden may indeed do... :shrug:

[nessa]

137. I think going public and making spectacle of it is the only thing...

wrong here.

I can see how the surgery may have helped the little girl, I can't see anyway that releasing before and after pics and going on Good Morning America helps her.

Why didn't the parents just do it and keep it private?

[lynne]

141. My cousin had the same surgery in the mid-1960's so it's nothing new -

- her ears were much like this child's where they stuck out even through her hair. She was a quiet child and self-conscious and her parents elected to have her ears pinned back when she was in elementary school as she was being teased.

Neither the surgery or the teasing is new. It helped my cousin with her self-esteem and confidence as she became a teenager so the surgery served its purpose.

[cynatnite]

149. I don't see the problem with this...

The parents are worried about their child being bullied and they took this step in hopes of protecting their daughter.

I saw the before photo. I think the parents were rightly concerned. Bullying has been proven over and over to be very devastating to children.

[DCKit]

162. The S.O. claims that big ears allow him to hear things said about him from the next room.

I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

[proud2BlibKansan]

163. Good. I'm glad the surgery is available to her.

Doesn't seem unreasonable at all.

[vim876]

165. If I could have had plastic surgery to stop the childhood bullying...

I darned well would have. Long term effects of bullying (particularly in girls) include depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, drug abuse, eating disorders, lower lifetime academic achievement, etc. (There are studies for each of those. Google them if you need supporting evidence.) A little surgery to avoid a lifetime of serious mental health problems? I'm surprised that plastic surgeon doesn't have a line to his office extending several blocks.

[vim876]

168. To everyone talking about how bullying didn't have long-term negative effects on them...

That is likely to be genetic. Researchers have found at least one gene, which controls seratonin transport in the brain, that influences whether or not bullying has long-term emotional consequences. (http://www.livescience.com/6756-emotional-effects-bullying-written-genes.html) So, just because you're ok, doesn't mean everyone in a similar situation is.

[Nikia]

169. I had no idea that ears that stick out were such an issue

It appears that this is a common trait throughout the population and even among successful people. I had no idea that many people were facing serious bullying because of this and having surgery. My MIL has mentioned my 2 year old son having "Obama ears" but I never thought anything about it because my husband and I have ears like that. I was never teased for that specifically. It probably helped that my frizzy hair, which I was teased about, generally covered them up.