Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair is Not From U.S. (Borowitz)

[pokerfan]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – A threat to the fledgling presidential campaign of Donald Trump emerged today, as a group of activists charged that Mr. Trump is not eligible to hold the nation’s highest office because his hair does not originate from the U.S.

The group, who call themselves “Balders,” claim that the hair-like substance that crowns Mr. Trump’s head is from a foreign country, which would mean that the candidate is less than one hundred percent American.

“Time and time again, Donald Trump has refused to produce a certificate of authenticity for his hair,” said Leeann Selwyn, a leading Balder. “This is tantamount to a comb-over of the truth.”

<...>

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/04/24/trump-dogged-by-rumors-his-hair-is-not-from-us

[undeterred]

1. It looks like it was transplanted from his butt.

[pokerfan]

6. the truth

is that it's the little known, rarely seen, double comb-over! Left over right followed by back to front. And fools nobody.

Thanks to the miracle of harsh lighting, the photo appears to reveal one of Trump’s most tightly-held secrets. Look closely. See the cross-hatching in Trump’s hair?

My baldly-stated thesis: this could be evidence of a rarely-sighted, possibly unprecedented “double comb-over.” It looks as if a length of hair growing from the part on the left side of Trump’s pate has been combed left-to-right over the crown of his head, while a second length of hair, growing from the back of his head, has been combed back-to-front over the first length of hair.
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2011/03/shocking-truth-behind-donald-trumps-hair-revealed.html

[undeterred]

11. I belive the technical term for that is "bilateral wompage".

(As opposed to the much more common unilateral wompage.)

[calimary]

2. I just love Andy Borowitz!

[pipi_k]

3. I heard a rumor that his hair is actually from

Tibet...

[RagAss]

5. Now that's good !

[pokerfan]

9. same stuff they use to make these

[Mendocino]

10. While that could fool a fish,

the Donalds doo fools no one.;)

And what do we call his mop...a Bucksass Streamer?

[trof]

4. Nailed!

:rofl:

[CatWoman]

7. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"BALDERS"???

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Kurovski]

8. Now that is just fucking funny as all get-out.

:kick: & R

[DainBramaged]

12. no words necesary