What was Jesus doing from age 3 to 33 ... the bible is not clear on it.

[JoePhilly]

Let's ask Trump and the birther's exactly what Jesus was hiding.

Dopes.

[Lucian]

1. I want Jesus's birth certificate.

[Drale]

2. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff

http://www.amazon.com/Lamb-Gospel-According-Christs-Childhood/dp/0380813815

Its all in there. :rofl:

[Baclava]

3. Wrasslin' dinosaurs?

[PufPuf23]

21. A dinosaurboy in the old west fighting injuns. nt

[kentuck]

4. Jesus, the missing years...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ1LC7AotNE

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

8. Classic.

[FourScore]

41. funny n/t

[LynneSin]

5. I think you mean ages 13 to 30. We knew Jesus one-up'd the Pharisees at age 12

Although I don't know what he did after birth to age 12 and then age 13 until 30

Age 12:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+2&version=NIV

41 Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. 43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
49 “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

[MineralMan]

6. Dude was hangin' with his homies. Word.

:rofl:

[louslobbs]

34. LoL, yeah down by the red sea.......doing donuts in his chariot.

Lou

[MineralMan]

37. Word.

Dude was righteous. I'm just sayin', you understand.

[louslobbs]

38. I get it completely and thanks for the post.....I cut and pasted the picture to my documents thanks

lou

[panader0]

7. Read "Lamb" by Christopher Moore

It's hilarious. Really.

[LynneSin]

9. Jesus was playing hockey!!!!

[meegbear]

11. He was playing football ...

[meegbear]

13. Or the other football ...

[LynneSin]

14. He played some mean ping-pong - was endorsed by Nike

[MineralMan]

15. I thought it was baseball.

Maybe he was one of those all-around athletes. The Twins could use him about now.

[MineralMan]

16. Yup. He played 'em all, and coached 'em all.

[JoePhilly]

28. That cross must be a goal post!!!

[RaleighNCDUer]

10. He went to synagogue, once, when he was 12.

Isn't that good enough for you?

[JoePhilly]

17. nope ... the Gospel of Thomas (banned from the bible) ...

...says Jesus pushed a friend off a roof, killing him.

When the people confronted Jesus, he brought the friend back to life, and asked the friend to explain that Jesus had NOT pushed him. which the friend did. Convenient ... no?

Sound like a cover-up to me!!!

Let's get Trump's investigators on it!!

[RaleighNCDUer]

20. So he pulled some strings with his dad to get out from under a juvie record?

Who'd a thunk?

[JoePhilly]

24. That's what I hear.

[snooper2]

12. he got hooked on heroin around age of 5..

after being kicked out at age 6, he wandered the streets for a while. He did a little manual labor work for food and shelter, and picked up the art of building mini sailboats.

When he turned 12 he finally dumped the heroin habbit for crack as it hit the streets. A fraction of the cost and he didn't have to sleep as much. That's when his god complex really started kicking in.

He traveled to Florence at age 19 and stayed there for a decade perfecting how he would go down as the son of Jesus.

The rest is history :rofl:

[louslobbs]

35. excellent lol..........wow too funny

[elleng]

18. GOOD one!

And he probably was 'brown,' right???

[eShirl]

19. do any of the Dead Sea Scrolls or Apocrypha have anything to say about that time period?

[JoePhilly]

25. Yes ... but since those are not OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS ... too bad.

The Gospel of Thomas and a few other do talk about Jesus as a kid and teen, but those books are NOT part of the official bible.

But it is fun to throw those books at the fundies and ask them why none of the "official books" say much about that part of jesus' life.

[eShirl]

29. ah!

heh

[PufPuf23]

32. Also Nag Hammadi (sp?) and the gnostic text discovery

I am not a Believing Christian and no longer consider myself a cultural "Christian" but Elaine Pagels and Robert Eisenmen are good reads and scholars of the period and long lost documents\ or excluded documents. Also the Book of Enoch is an eye-opener just as speculative fiction.

[FSogol]

22. Working in his Joesph's Carpentry shop building crosses for Roman crucifixions.

Of course.

[mmonk]

23. Playing baseball.

[CBGLuthier]

26. he went down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal

No wait, that's the other guy.

hmmmm.

[Change Happens]

27. It is in this book called: Issa

check it out:

http://issa-thegreateststorynevertold.com/

Snip:

Ancient Buddhist manuscripts tell of one St. Issa, whose life bears a striking resemblance to that of Jesus of Nazareth, and whose timeframe matches his "lost years."

[JoePhilly]

30. Not part of the OFFICIAL bible!!!!

But yes, agree ... Jesus shows up as a kid / teen in Gnostic Gospels, the Koran, and a few other documents ... I'll need to check the ones you list, had not seen those.

But still, as a "Jesus Birther" ... I need OFFICIAL evidence.

:rofl:

[fishwax]

31. John Prine has already explained that, though

Jesus, the missing years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ1LC7AotNE

(spoken)
Jesus.... the missing years

It was raining. It was cold
West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old
So he packed his bags and he headed out
To find out what the world's about
He went to France. He went to Spain
He found love. He found pain.
He found stores so he started to shop
But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop
Kids in trouble with the cops
From Israel didn't have no home
So he cut his hair and moved to Rome
It was there he met his Irish bride
And they rented a flat on the lower east side of Rome...
Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, Money Changers,
Spoon Benders and lots of pretty Italian chicks.

Chorus:
Charley bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at ....23 Skidoo.

Wine was flowing so were beers
So Jesus found his missing years
So He went to a dance and said "This don't move me"
He hiked up his pants and he went to a movie
On his thirteenth birthday he saw "Rebel without a Cause"
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind
You see him and the wife wasn't getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called "The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch"
But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church
At least not back then anyhow
Jesus was a good guy he didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and
A Coca-Cola and he swallowed it.
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with the Stones
Once He even opened up a three-way package
In Southern California for old George Jones

Repeat Chorus:

The years went by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais
When he woke up he was seventeen
The world was angry. The world was mean.
Why the man down the street and the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life stank. All the world smelled like poop
Baby poop that is ..the worst kind
So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb
And headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom, Dad and home
But when he got there the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
He said "Whatcha gonna be when you grow up?"
Jesus said "God"
Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?
I'm a human corkscrew and all my wine is blood
They're gonna kill me Mama. They don't like me Bud.
So Jesus went to Heaven and he went there awful quick
All them people killed him and he wasn't even sick
So come and gather around me my contemporary peers
And I'll tell you all the story of
Jesus...The Missing Years

Repeat Chorus:

We all reside down the block
Inside at ....23 Skidoo.

[Baclava]

33. Weren't Mary Magdalene and Jesus Married ?

I think I saw that in a movie. But it was dark.

[louslobbs]

36. No, they were just living together to see if they got along.

Lou

[edhopper]

39. He came to America

to start the Mormon Church.
Just ask Beck or Mittens.

[kestrel91316]

40. I wanna see HIS "long-form" birth certificate. Pronto.

And no, I cannot accept a copy of the bible as a substitute.

[JenniferJuniper]

42. He did nothing but smoke dope during "the lost years"

And why the hell not?