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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Onion pulls NO PUNCHES in its reaction to "the summit." (EXTREMELY GRAPHIC)
WASHINGTONPromising citizens that they would finally take action if the President crossed this new red line, GOP leaders announced Monday that they were moving their goalposts for opposing Trump to him being filmed masturbating on an American flag in Arlington National Cemetery. After todays attack on U.S. intelligence agencies, we have officially moved our line in the sand to President Trump being caught on video, vigorously pleasuring himself to completion amid the graves of fallen U.S. soldiers, said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who claimed that in order for Republican officials to begin blocking Trumps nominations or voting against his policies, the video must be at least a half hour of the president with his pants around his ankles, humming the national anthem, and giving the middle finger to the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier. Unless we see clear footage of President Trump looking into the camera, his face twisting in pleasure as he climaxes, we will refrain from taking any concrete measures to reel him in. If Trump is masturbating on a flag anywhere other than Arlington, or if he does not ejaculate directly on Old Glory, we will continue to stand behind him. And if fewer than 100 eyewitnesses see him engaged in the masturbation, we will dismiss it as hearsay. Of course, it goes without saying that if he claims it was a joke, all will be forgiven. McConnell added that Republicans would stand firm on their new line for President Trump except in the extraordinary circumstance of another open seat on the Supreme Court.
https://politics.theonion.com/gop-leaders-move-goalposts-on-opposing-trump-to-him-bei-1827640709
BSdetect
(9,000 posts)dalton99a
(81,716 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)BumRushDaShow
(130,281 posts)Maraya1969
(22,534 posts)Marie Marie
(9,999 posts)And his base would love it.
certainot
(9,090 posts)republicans opposing him are helping dems/hillary/deep state/liberal media
NoMoreRepugs
(9,547 posts)TheCowsCameHome
(40,169 posts)dalton99a
(81,716 posts)Ilsa
(61,721 posts)Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)Pacifist Patriot
(24,655 posts)Ilsa
(61,721 posts)Congresscritters. Thousands of them. Tell them, "this is what your patriotism looks like."
calimary
(81,632 posts)HAH! The minute they start whining about civility, that's our cue that it's EXACTLY how we should respond. With about as much civility as is observed outside ANY of the remaining Planned Parenthood clinics in America. Yeah. THAT.
mcar
(42,486 posts)vlyons
(10,252 posts)peggysue2
(10,862 posts)Profane but too true.
uponit7771
(90,378 posts)Ohiogal
(32,252 posts)emulatorloo
(44,279 posts)marylandblue
(12,344 posts)spanone
(135,990 posts)Gothmog
(146,137 posts)Ferrets are Cool
(21,126 posts)mountain grammy
(26,685 posts)angrychair
(8,766 posts)Touch me Big Daddy Putin! Vlad the Impaler is the very best!
rainin
(3,011 posts)Leith
(7,819 posts)It should now be considered straight news.
lapfog_1
(29,247 posts)except possibly Trump siding with Democrats.
byronius
(7,417 posts)Well, this was quite good.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)IronLionZion
(45,689 posts)Nothing he does would surprise me anymore. And when it happens, I wouldn't think it would be the onion. That's what it's come to.
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)ProudProgressiveNow
(6,131 posts)Pepsidog
(6,254 posts)Republican rejects from the South. Or maybe Jacking off onto the crucifix onto Jesuss face, is that enough? Nah, remember the religious right didnt vote for a Saint, they take their guy just the way he is.
Toorich
(391 posts).... sit back and allow Russian infiltration, Russian indoctrination, Russian subversion and the international Russian conspiracy
to sap and impurify all our precious BODILY FLUIDS. - Gen. Jack D. Ripper