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stage left

(2,975 posts)
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:06 AM Jan 2021

I don't know how much more I can take.

My husband died after a surgical procedure on Wednesday and my daughter who was going to come down to be with me just tested positive for Covid. It looks like 2021 is going to be just as mind-numbingly bad as 2020.

85 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I don't know how much more I can take. (Original Post) stage left Jan 2021 OP
((stage)) blm Jan 2021 #1
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #11
My most profound condolences to you blm. Also peace and strength to your daughter. kairos12 Jan 2021 #71
I'm so very sorry. catbyte Jan 2021 #2
I'm so sorry MustLoveBeagles Jan 2021 #3
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #12
Please know you will be in my heart of hearts. sprinkleeninow Jan 2021 #4
We're with you. elleng Jan 2021 #5
Lighting a candle for you: applegrove Jan 2021 #6
My Condolences On Your Husband's Passing sfstaxprep Jan 2021 #7
I'm so sorry! The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2021 #8
I am so sorry. boston bean Jan 2021 #9
I am so sorry. My condolences on your loss. 58Sunliner Jan 2021 #10
One day at a time. And if it can't be a day, one hour at a time. IsItJustMe Jan 2021 #13
I don't seem to have any luck. stage left Jan 2021 #17
My heart goes out to you. KentuckyWoman Jan 2021 #14
Thank you, KentuckyWoman stage left Jan 2021 #22
Thanks everybody stage left Jan 2021 #15
I'm so sorry for your loss.. my heart goes out to you and your daughter! halobeam Jan 2021 #16
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #23
peace be with you bdtrppr6 Jan 2021 #18
I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. Niagara Jan 2021 #19
Thanks, Niagra stage left Jan 2021 #25
How very sad. Wishing you strength from somewhere... 3catwoman3 Jan 2021 #20
Thanks, Catwoman stage left Jan 2021 #28
Hugs sakabatou Jan 2021 #21
So very sorry.... FirstLight Jan 2021 #24
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #30
is there someone else that can be in contact with you to help you out orleans Jan 2021 #26
Yes stage left Jan 2021 #35
i am really glad to hear this orleans Jan 2021 #57
I'm so sorry for your loss. stage left Jan 2021 #74
+1. Excellent suggestions. Niagara Jan 2021 #40
I'm so sorry cate94 Jan 2021 #27
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #36
Hopefully she will recover without any serious symptoms and will be with you afterwards JI7 Jan 2021 #29
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #38
Wishing you strength and solace GeoWilliam750 Jan 2021 #31
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #39
(((Hugs))) and prayers for you, stage left and for your daughter. sueh Jan 2021 #32
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #41
Sorry for your loss. Hope your daughter is ok... RestoreAmerica2020 Jan 2021 #33
Sorry for your loss. Hope your daughter is ok..and can be with you soon RestoreAmerica2020 Jan 2021 #34
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #43
... Nevilledog Jan 2021 #37
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #44
This is tragic! lunatica Jan 2021 #42
Thanks stage left Jan 2021 #46
So sorry to hear this, Stage! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #45
thanks stage left Jan 2021 #47
Yw! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #66
(((Oh God I am sorry))) Hekate Jan 2021 #48
Thanks everyone for your support. stage left Jan 2021 #49
May your husband's memory be eternal. May your daughter recover. May you be comforted. k8conant Jan 2021 #50
My deepest condolences, stage left. This year has been so full of sorrow. pnwmom Jan 2021 #51
I am sorry KT2000 Jan 2021 #52
So sorry. healthnut7 Jan 2021 #53
My condolences and thoughts are with you Moostache Jan 2021 #54
Moostache stage left Jan 2021 #75
oh god lillypaddle Jan 2021 #55
There are no words... hamsterjill Jan 2021 #56
We send our supportive spirit. I'm so sorry you are facing this but we are with you. Guilded Lilly Jan 2021 #58
Deepest sympathy. colorado_ufo Jan 2021 #59
I am so very very sorry blogslut Jan 2021 #60
I am very sorry. murielm99 Jan 2021 #61
I am so sorry for your loss MissB Jan 2021 #62
I am so sorry for your loss, stage left mnhtnbb Jan 2021 #63
I can't even imagine your pain rand stress at this time malaise Jan 2021 #64
I'm so sorry for your loss 😢 live love laugh Jan 2021 #65
Deepest condolences. sinkingfeeling Jan 2021 #67
I'm so sorry for your loss brer cat Jan 2021 #68
So sorry from your family here on DU! bluestarone Jan 2021 #69
That is a lot to absorb, so very sorry. JudyM Jan 2021 #70
Sending you love and peace... Freedomofspeech Jan 2021 #72
I am so sorry, stage left Skittles Jan 2021 #73
Oh no. I am so sorry. peacebuzzard Jan 2021 #76
Sorry I missed this. sheshe2 Jan 2021 #77
Oh no, I am so very sorry Peacetrain Jan 2021 #78
So sorry for your loss. Hang in there. Vivienne235729 Jan 2021 #79
I am very sorry. Please accept my condolences. NNadir Jan 2021 #80
I am so sorry for you loss. I hope your daughter heals quickly. Maraya1969 Jan 2021 #81
I'm so sorry, SL. area51 Jan 2021 #82
So sorry for your bdamomma Jan 2021 #83
So sorry for your loss. progressoid Jan 2021 #84
I am so sorry for your loss LetMyPeopleVote Oct 2022 #85

catbyte

(34,677 posts)
2. I'm so very sorry.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:09 AM
Jan 2021

Please accept my deepest condolences. I hope your daughter recovers quickly. Again, I'm so sorry.

sfstaxprep

(9,999 posts)
7. My Condolences On Your Husband's Passing
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:10 AM
Jan 2021

I am very saddened to hear this, and hope that your daughter has an uneventful bout with Covid.

IsItJustMe

(7,012 posts)
13. One day at a time. And if it can't be a day, one hour at a time.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:19 AM
Jan 2021

With any luck at all, your daughter will get through this and will be able to see you in a couple. We all have more strength than we know we have. Positive thoughts are with you. You are not alone.

stage left

(2,975 posts)
17. I don't seem to have any luck.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:22 AM
Jan 2021

My girl--she's really a woman--has no symptoms. She was being tested before coming here. I hope it stays that way.

KentuckyWoman

(6,709 posts)
14. My heart goes out to you.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:19 AM
Jan 2021

Loss of a spouse is the absolute devil. Unexpectedly is worse. Hopefully your daughter ends up asymptomatic or a very mild version. It isn't the same, but it is good you have a daughter for support, even if from afar.

stage left

(2,975 posts)
22. Thank you, KentuckyWoman
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:28 AM
Jan 2021

I think I'm still stunned. I expected my husband's outcome would not be the best. He had just been diagnosed with invasive bladder cancer. I was gearing up to help him fight it. And then he was gone.

She has no symptoms and her partner tested negative. How she's going to isolate, I don't know. They live in a one bedroom apartment.

halobeam

(4,874 posts)
16. I'm so sorry for your loss.. my heart goes out to you and your daughter!
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:22 AM
Jan 2021

Please take care of yourself, so you are well when your daughter is better, and can come to you. All the best wishes for your daughters uneventful recovery.

Niagara

(7,941 posts)
19. I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your husband.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:24 AM
Jan 2021

Here's to a quick recovery for your daughter. I would recommend a women's one a day multivitamin and daily melatonin intake to help her with her recovery.



I wasn't even logged in when I read your devastating news. I know it's not the same as another person being in your actual presence, but we are here for you, Stage Left.


Sending you strength and hugs.

stage left

(2,975 posts)
25. Thanks, Niagra
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:32 AM
Jan 2021

It does help that you're here. What an awful year it's been. I tried so hard to keep my husband safe from Covid, and he died anyway.

3catwoman3

(24,297 posts)
20. How very sad. Wishing you strength from somewhere...
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:25 AM
Jan 2021

...deep inside yourself, and a prompt recovery for your daughter.

stage left

(2,975 posts)
28. Thanks, Catwoman
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:36 AM
Jan 2021

I consider myself a strong woman and I was digging out and then this news just knocked me back down. I know the only way you can get through hell is to keep going, but I'm damned tired of going through hell.

orleans

(34,180 posts)
26. is there someone else that can be in contact with you to help you out
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:32 AM
Jan 2021

over the next week or two? a cousin or aunt or sister? maybe there's a good neighbor you're friends with who could come over and talk, cook, or just check in with you.

i'm very sorry to hear about your husband's passing and then your daughter testing positive. i imagine this is a LOT of stress for you--maybe check with your doctor and see if they can recommend something that might help alleviate some of the stress. does your daughter have someone that can help her through this if she doesn't feel well?

mostly i am concerned about you. please check back in here with us.

stage left

(2,975 posts)
35. Yes
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:50 AM
Jan 2021

I have a sister. My daughter doesn't seem to want me to tell anybody her "business." But since I'm pretty anonymous here. I just couldn't keep it inside. You know?

I feel like I've been living with my body and my teeth clenched for four years and this year has, of course, been worse.

I was quite the loner until four years ago when I became very active with an indivisible group and I've made some good friends. It was the only good thing that happened to me during the Trump regime. I'm lucky in that regard.

It is a lot of stress. I've already been taking anti-depressives for awhile. My daughter has a partner and a couple of friends in her building that will help her. I keep hoping it's a false positive. Her partner, who works at Trader Joe's tested negative and right now my daughter is asymptomatic.

We must have one lucky star, right?

orleans

(34,180 posts)
57. i am really glad to hear this
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:56 AM
Jan 2021

sounds like both you and your daughter have a support system in place that you can go to or ask for help/company/dinner maybe?

i lived with my mother forever and when she died it was horrible for me--i was so lost. my daughter was there for a few days and had to return to college (and then she came home a week or two later--or a month later and stayed for a couple months. i can't even remember--it was such a traumatic time). but i had great neighbors across the street & next door that looked in on me, called me, brought me dinners, etc.

i just googled what helps to relieve stress and found a uk website that has various suggestions--some of which i feel are not exactly practical in this era (such as massage or acupuncture). but one of the things that was mentioned was ecotherapy (getting outside, in the green, in nature) and also aromatherapy.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/stress/treatment-for-stress/

my daughter has one of those diffusers (or whatever they're called--it has a plug and she melts scented wax in it) and it's really nice. i'm not sure where she got it but i see yankee candle has some of that https://www.yankeecandle.com/browse/car--flameless/home-fragrance/wax-melts-and-warmers/_/N-cfe?view=Grid

wishing you peaceful and easy days ahead

Niagara

(7,941 posts)
40. +1. Excellent suggestions.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:52 AM
Jan 2021

Having someone checking in and making sure there's a decent meal helps. That's an excellent suggestion since a support system is imperative during this difficult time.

JI7

(89,362 posts)
29. Hopefully she will recover without any serious symptoms and will be with you afterwards
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:36 AM
Jan 2021

I'm sorry for the loss of your husband.

sueh

(1,831 posts)
32. (((Hugs))) and prayers for you, stage left and for your daughter.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:40 AM
Jan 2021

I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. I hope your daughter can join you soon.

RestoreAmerica2020

(3,442 posts)
34. Sorry for your loss. Hope your daughter is ok..and can be with you soon
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:46 AM
Jan 2021

..my son tested positive .last month and had to quarantine for 10days; he had mild symptons-- is ok now.

Take care. Paz

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
42. This is tragic!
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:54 AM
Jan 2021

Hugs to you. I hope your daughter gets well. Remember that even though we hear more about the deaths the great majority make it through.

This is a very hard thing you’re going through. I’m so sorry you lost your husband.

SheltieLover

(57,073 posts)
45. So sorry to hear this, Stage!
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:56 AM
Jan 2021

I hope your daughter is ok & that you can be together soon!

Lease take good care of yourself!

stage left

(2,975 posts)
49. Thanks everyone for your support.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 02:59 AM
Jan 2021

I think I'm going to try to get some rest and I'll keep you updated on how it goes. Love to you all. And peace.
J

pnwmom

(109,051 posts)
51. My deepest condolences, stage left. This year has been so full of sorrow.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:03 AM
Jan 2021

I'm so sorry you're having to go through that profound loss on your own.

Moostache

(9,919 posts)
54. My condolences and thoughts are with you
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:28 AM
Jan 2021

I have lived a part of this hell in the last 3 months with the passing of my mom, and I am always willing to be a sounding board for anyone who needs to talk, scream, cry or all of the above about this...I find it helps me too. I am very sorry for your loss.

lillypaddle

(9,582 posts)
55. oh god
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 03:33 AM
Jan 2021

So sorry for the loss of your husband. Best wishes to your daughter for a speedy recovery. And as for you,

Hang in there ...

murielm99

(30,849 posts)
61. I am very sorry.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 04:43 AM
Jan 2021

This is too much for a person to go through all at once.

Words on a message board are all I have, but I hope you can get through this all right. Take care of your own health, too.

MissB

(15,825 posts)
62. I am so sorry for your loss
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 05:48 AM
Jan 2021

I hope your daughter remains healthy and is able to join you in person to comfort you after her quarantine is finished.

mnhtnbb

(31,496 posts)
63. I am so sorry for your loss, stage left
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 06:10 AM
Jan 2021

and that your daughter has tested positive.

Sending light and love to you, with hope that your daughter will not experience a bad case of the coronavirus.

Take care of yourself. Get outside for a walk if you can every day. Listen to music. There will be so many details that require your attention, don't let them overwhelm you. One day at a time.

My heart goes out to you.

malaise

(270,364 posts)
64. I can't even imagine your pain rand stress at this time
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 07:04 AM
Jan 2021

Use the technology to see and talk to your daughter daily as that is important.
Deepest sympathy on the death of your husband

JudyM

(29,385 posts)
70. That is a lot to absorb, so very sorry.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 12:48 PM
Jan 2021

You can do this, though. Take good care of yourself. You can move forward one day at a time, and we all hope your daughter will shake off Covid soon.

peacebuzzard

(5,200 posts)
76. Oh no. I am so sorry.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 08:59 PM
Jan 2021

I really am, just saw this.
I am so sorry for this tragic loss of your husband. Sorry about your daughter and I hope she heals well and fast.

Maraya1969

(22,648 posts)
81. I am so sorry for you loss. I hope your daughter heals quickly.
Sun Jan 3, 2021, 11:09 PM
Jan 2021

2021 will be hard for sure because you will morn your husband but it doesn't have to be as bad as 2020.

Sending you warm thoughts.

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