If I ever get a parrot,I don't think I'd name her Polly.

[Swede]

Or give her crackers.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

1. I had an African Grey named Fido.

[nolabear]

2. I have an African Grey named Pidge.

She DOES love a cracker, I must admit.

[sakabatou]

5. How smart is Pidge? I heard that Greys are very intelligent.

[chollybocker]

3. You rogue, Swede.

Now promise never to put it on your shoulder.

[Swede]

4. And I would never say "aarrrgh" to her.

Never.

[chollybocker]

6. Oh, really.

Or are you just too busy pining for the fjords? SWEDE???

[RedCloud]

7. Whatever you do, don't say "Weed whacker" around them.

Gosh 150 times a day. Give me a break. All right already, I'll go weed whack some more.

[libodem]

8. Or

Where's your stash? Someone I knew babysat her parent's bird, and a friend rushed into their house after a bad day and uttered those fateful words before he even sat down. Guess who went home saying what.

That was the bird who also would say , "Oh god, here comes your father".

[emilyg]

9. Speaking of parrots.......

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables

when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing

more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the

corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'