Ask me anything - I'll answer like Donald Trump.

[lovemydog]

This could be fun, so ask away.

[themonster]

1. trump

Donald Trump, why do you continue to hurt our eyes with your haircut?

[lovemydog]

3. I get asked that all the time themonster.

All the other candidates have stupid haircuts. A couple haircuts I respect but I'm not going to say which ones.

[Cha]

17. lol.. I take it you watched the debates? I did not.

[lovemydog]

18. I watched some clips from the debates.

Then on youtube watched a long interview with Anderson Cooper and one with Bill O'Reilly. The guy is hysterically funny Cha. He's actually very smart. And no, I wouldn't vote for him ever.

[Cha]

19. YOu're funny! Setting up a Q&A with you as the trumpster.. rofl

[lovemydog]

20. Anything for cheap amusement.

[Juicy_Bellows]

2. Mr. Trump, what did you say on that phone call to Bill?

[lovemydog]

4. Bill loves me Juicy_Bellows.

They all love me. I've done business with them for years. I know how to deal with them. I've given money to them. Lots of money. Of course. That's the way it's done. What did I say? Let's just say we did business. That business was very good for me. I will leave it at that because I am great.

[Juicy_Bellows]

5. Haha! Well done, well done.

I like the way he does this thing: we got problems with a and b - and by the way I've known a and b, was at b's place yesterday for breakfast, it was beautiful, but b sucks and is a loser.

It's been nice speaking to you Mr. Trump.

[lovemydog]

6. Sure. No problem.

Be sure to pick up a Trump shopping bag. Everyone loves it.

[SunSeeker]

51. LOL That's pretty much what he said!

[lovemydog]

9. Sure guyton. Of course they do!

I'll get it for them. I'll tell you how I'll get it. The poor love me. I've done a lot of business with them. Love their spirit. I've made a lot of money with the poor. Built a lot of hospitals. They have to work hard. They listen to me. I'll get them a good deal.

[Number23]

8. Mr. Trump, what's your favorite season??

[lovemydog]

10. That's a very good question Number23.

Winter is a great season. I love winter. I make a lot of money in winter. If you analyze the reports I make a lot of money in every season. Do I make the most money in winter? I don't care. I don't want to be President to make money in winter. I want to make America make money in all seasons. I know how to do that. Everyone loves me.

[Number23]

11. But isn't summer the best time to go on vacation using one of your numerous planes, yachts etc?

[lovemydog]

12. Sure! Summer is great.

Look, all the seasons are great. I've made a lot of money in all the seasons. I know how to do the best deals with all the seasons. All the seasons love me. I've given a lot of money to them.

[Ken Burch]

13. Mr. Trump, how do you make a grilled cheese sandwich? n/t.

[lovemydog]

15. I have great friends who make a perfect grilled cheese sandwich.

It costs a lot of money. That's not a problem for me.

[Ken Burch]

14. Mr. Trump, in which spots is your hair actually connected to your scalp? n/t.

[lovemydog]

16. That's a ridiculous question.

My hair is great. Look, all the stupid people who talk about my hair. They love my hair.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

21. Who's your favorite blonde Fox News Gal and why?

[lovemydog]

24. None of them do anything for me.

You've got to understand. I'm good friends with Miss Universe contestants. The best looking women from all over the world. They all love me. The world's women love me. When you're good friends with the most beautiful women from all over the world you consider the bleached blonde Fox News Gals for what they are - desperate ugly old hags. Not to mention they are all stupid. I mean dumber than a doornail. I'd say 'You're fired!' to every one of them. Replace with really beautiful women. Don't get me wrong. The Fox News Gals love me. I pay them a lot of money. I do business with all of them. Made a lot of money from them. I know how to handle them. I had breakfast with them yesterday.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

30. Of course. I don't know what I was thinking. You have such great taste.

And you have sooooooooooooooooooooo much money. You should totally buy Fox News and fire all those dumbbitches. You could hire all the best babes to be the new talent. You wouldn't even have to tell them to coax the American public into electing you as prez! This is gonna be great! I'd say Good Luck, but with all you money, you don't need luck.

[ALBliberal]

22. Mr. Trump what's your plan to address income inequality

Issues in America?

[lovemydog]

26. That's a tough question.

I know how to handle it easily. Stupid people have to work harder. I had dinner with them last night. They love me. I know how to handle them. I love them.

[ALBliberal]

27. lol!

[applegrove]

92. LOL!

[Jamaal510]

23. Mr. Trump,

are you truly one of us and also hate the Demonrats, minorities, foreigners, etc., and care about economic freedom, or are you just a phony trying to make our party look bad so that we lose again?

[lovemydog]

29. I don't have to make you all look bad Jamaal510.

You do it yourselves. You already look bad. Really ugly. Yuck. And stupid. I have no respect for you. You're really really stupid. Not smart. I know how to deal with you all. I've done business with you. Paid you a lot of money. That's how it's done. It's not a problem for me. I can deal with you. I love most of you. Not the stupid ones. I'm not going to say which ones. Look. I know how to talk to you. No problem. I've made a lot of money with you. You all love me.

[NobodyHere]

25. Mr Trump

Why has there been no Democratic debate yet?

[lovemydog]

32. That's easy NobodyHere.

Democrats are stupid. Really stupid. It's no problem. I know how to deal with Democrats. First you have to remember they're stupid. Look. I've done a lot of business with Democrats. Look where I live. It's mostly Democrats. This building we're in was supposed to be 8 stories. It's 58 stories. I know how to deal with Democrats. Democrats love me.

[Flying Squirrel]

33. They're losers.

Sorry, I couldn't wait.

[lovemydog]

37. With a capital L.

We have to beat them. They're stupid.

[NobodyHere]

58. Awwww, You gotta do better than that

nt

[bravenak]

28. Mr. Trump, what do you think about those black lives matter activists? And Blacks in General?nt

[lovemydog]

34. Look, it's really easy bravenak.

You give them a lot of money. They all love me. I've given them a lot of money. I give money to everyone. They love me. I love them. Love their spirit. They're just really stupid. Not all of them. There's a few that aren't stupid. I'm not going to say which ones. I've made them a lot of money. They've lived in my buildings. I had lunch with them last week. I know how to deal with them. They love me. The first thing I would do is build a fence. I'd get them to pay for it.

[bravenak]

36. Great Answers!!! I watched the entire debates and you sound just like him!

[lovemydog]

38. The guy is hysterically funny.

It's really easy to imitate him. Cracks me up.

[bravenak]

43. He was my favorite thing about the debate.

I was DYING over here. I like him best out of the whole crowd. I think he may kill Fox News yet. Hopefully. They way they treated him compared to the rest of them pissed of a bunch of republicans. This was great!

[lovemydog]

45. Same here. He seemed like the only one with an honest bone in his body.

Honestly whack. But still outspoken.

[KT2000]

31. you nailed it!!

are you really Donald Trump?? (actually T-Rump is my favorite)

[lovemydog]

35. Is T-Rump a movie?

Just from watching some youtube stuff of him tonight, it's an easy imitation.

[KT2000]

40. Not a movie -

someone here posted that would be his name if he became a rap artist. Trump had said something that brought that on, can't remember what though. It fits him though.

[lovemydog]

42. That's hilarious.

T-Rump.

Great rapper.

[KT2000]

54. You've got his lyrics down

you up for writing T-Rump a song for his campaign???

[tblue]

39. Mr. Trump, who would you choose for a running mate?

And why?

[lovemydog]

41. Someone who is not stupid.

It doesn't matter who I choose. I'm great. I'll choose someone great.

[tblue]

44. Mr. Trump, do you believe in evolution?

Or what?

[lovemydog]

46. A lot of people believe in evolution. They're great.

Many don't. They're great.

The first thing I would do is build a fence. Get them to pay for it. It's easy. I do business with them. Make it hurt. Make them pay.

[Ken Burch]

47. Mr Trump, what was the "disgusting" thing your lawyer was threatening to do?

Did it involve bagpipes and potato salad?

[lovemydog]

48. Yes. Bagpipes and potato salad.

They owe me a lot of money. That's why they write things about me.

[Ken Burch]

59. What would they write if you owed THEM money? n/t.

[lovemydog]

69. You need to ask them.

Probably the same stupid stuff.

[Skittles]

49. you want I should kick your Trumping ass, lovemydog?

yes INDEED

[lovemydog]

50. Of course Skittles.

You love me. We do business together. I had breakfast with you last week. I've made a lot of money with you. We know how to talk with Putin. He respects us.

[JustAnotherGen]

52. Mr Trump - finish this sentence:

In the words of MLK . . .

[lovemydog]

55. He's a good friend of mine.

We had dinner last week. He told me 'I have a dream about you kickin' all the stupid people's butts.'

[JustAnotherGen]

56. Ha ha ha!

[stranger81]

53. You are frighteningly good at this.

Fodder for a whole stand-up routine!

[lovemydog]

57. My friends love me for my humor.

And my money. Mainly because they make a lot of money. I called Rosie a fat pig. Everyone loved it. I don't have time for political correctness. The nation doesn't have time for it. Fat pigs don't have time for it.

[stranger81]

61. See, there you go again . . . .

[longship]

60. One shudders about kicking this thread.

Poking the Donald is a very precarious enterprise. Nevertheless, I will risk a simple DUrec and kick. Then, I will hide in my bunker.

A great thread!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

62. One last thing, Mr. Trump. I know you paid a lot of money to send some investigators to Hawaii

to look into Obama's fake birth certificate. At the time you said, "I have people that have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding." So, what were they finding? You didn't fire them, did you?

[lovemydog]

66. Of course i did Dark n Stormy Knight.

I tell the truth. I always tell the truth. I paid a lot of money for them to go to Hawaii. They were doing a lot of things in Hawaii. They were building things. We build a lot of buildings in Hawaii. They have a great time in Hawaii. The ocean there, it's huge. I know business. Here's how business works. My business, I hire contractors. They hire subcontractors. The subcontractors hire people. You need to ask the the contractors. Or the subcontractors who do the hiring. I don't keep track of everyone they hire.

[unblock]

63. lovemydog, this thread is amazing. probably the best thread the world has ever seen.

truly amazing.

[Euphoria]

65. ^^this^^. One reason I didn't watch the debate

was that I didn't know if I could handle it without Jon Stewart.
With the thread, there's the small hope that perhaps we can not only handle it but also might be able dish it back as well.

[Scuba]

64. Great answers. Pure Trump. Thanks lovemydog.

[FSogol]

67. Funniest thread ever. Get a goofy wig and you can cash in as a Trump impersonator.

Last edited Fri Aug 7, 2015, 08:32 PM - Edit history (1)

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

68. Truly!

[awoke_in_2003]

70. Why does my left testicle hurt? nt

[lovemydog]

72. How the hell would I know?

I'm not a doctor. I have great doctors. I pay them a lot of money. They love me. They are incredible. Go see a great doctor.

[awoke_in_2003]

79. ...

[bravenak]

71. This is my favorite. I bookmarked it just in case it goes on. I love it so much.

I read it to my husband. He loves it. You should do standup.

[lovemydog]

73. Of course you love it.

I'm telling the truth. I always tell the truth. Most of these other stupid people they are lying to you. It's really obvious if you're not stupid. I don't think you're stupid. That's why you love my answers. We should do business together. We can make a lot of money.

[bravenak]

74. I'd be honored to do business with Donald the Trump.

Any kind of business, really. All that pomp and circumstance!! I'd have stories for years about that business.

[lovemydog]

75. Of course you would.

We'd both make a lot of money. You're my kind of person bravenak. You love me. I love you. Simple really. Send your resume. My people will read it and get back to you.

[bravenak]

76. Thank you Mr. Trump!!!

[olddots]

77. Mr. Trump

have you ever not had to pay for sex or have anyone even like you ?What is it like to be such a self congraduatory insignificant little wanna be dictator ? Oh and Donald is it true your mamma was a orangutan and your daddy was a urinal cake ?

[lovemydog]

78. I don't have time for these types of questions olddots.

The country is falling apart. Have you asked the other candidates these questions? No you have not! I thought we were friends. You have made it clear we are not. I would sue you but there is nothing to get. So I will move on and continue saving the country. Hey, I don't care if I'm elected. I could take it or leave it. I have more money than I can spend. I'm doing this to save our country.

[NCTraveler]

80. Mr. Trump, why are you not addressing the northern border?

After all, that's how the terrorist Beiber snuck in.

[lovemydog]

82. Beiber's a great friend of mine.

I had dinner with him last week. He makes a lot of money.

[NCTraveler]

83. Trump, I'm sitting here in awe.

You just brought du together.

[lovemydog]

85. That's huge.

[kwassa]

81. Mr. Trump, how do you feel about the issue of climate change?

[lovemydog]

84. There's a lot of stupid people in the world.

We're getting destroyed by China. They are smart. I have a great plan on climate change. I'm not going to share it right now. It could get stolen by China. Let me just say that it involves getting China to pay for everything.

[yurbud]

86. Mr. Trump, if you have nothing to hide, will you let us see under your combover?

[lovemydog]

87. Everyone loves my hair.

But that's not the issue. America is in trouble. Everyone has to work harder.

[yurbud]

88. China and Russia have the technology to see what's under there. Will you wait until THEY reveal it

to the American people?

[lovemydog]

94. Sure!

China and Russia respect me. They are very smart. I can get a much better deal with them.

[yurbud]

100. well played

[kwassa]

89. Mr. Trump, why have all your casinos gone bankrupt?

[lovemydog]

95. Every smart rich person utilizes the existing laws

to their advantage. That's why I have so much money.

[olddots]

90. just one more short guestion Mr. Trump

Why do you do the things you do ?

[lovemydog]

101. Ask people who love me.

I have dinner with them.

[Motown_Johnny]

91. Donald, if it is so easy to buy politicians..

..why not pay the people running against you to drop out of the race?

[lovemydog]

96. I want the American people to see how stupid

all these politicians are. That's why I end a sentence with a preposition. Smart people notice. Politicians do not.

[Motown_Johnny]

98. So politically correct is bad but grammatically correct is good?

[lovemydog]

99. I've heard that from an 'extremely

credible source.'

[applegrove]

93. Donald. Do you think after a year even the base will find you boring and

repetitive?

[lovemydog]

97. My show is number one in ratings

among people who matter most. People from whom I make a lot of money.

[Arugula Latte]

102. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

[lovemydog]

103. I love Tootsie Pops.

Had one earlier this evening. One. Not like that fat pig Rosie O'Donnell.

I haven't counted. Have you?

Tootsie Pops love me.

[GReedDiamond]

104. President Trump...ooops I mean MISTER Trump...

...what was your favorite punk rock band of the period 1977-1983?

Thanks, and fuck you.

[lovemydog]

105. I didn't have time to listen to that racket.

I was busy making money, investing my inheritance, declaring bankruptcy, evicting squatter punks, suing and being sued and making more money.

That's the kind of can-do spirit those lousy punks never did grasp.

[Turbineguy]

106. Mr. Trump....

If you become President, will you change all U.S. government stationary so that it has your crest on it?

[lovemydog]

107. Absolutely Turbineguy.

Everyone is sick of that stupid presidential seal. They want stationary with my crest. Not just the USA - all governments. I'll reject correspondence from another country unless the Trump logo is prominently featured. I'll charge exorbitant licensing fees. They love me so I'll make them pay. We'll send them letters that require a reply. 'If you don't respond within thirty days we're taking all your oil.' Haha. It's a win-win. Stupid countries that don't reply - I'll declare war on them. It will make us a lot of money. It's how I'll Make America Great.

[davidpdx]

108. Mr. Trump, is it true that you and Hugh Heffner were once in a hot tub together?

If so, what did you talk about?

[lovemydog]

109. Hef is a great friend of mine.

I had oatmeal and apple sauce with him last week. I introduce him to beautiful women. He's always needed my help in that department. Sure. I've been in his hot tub. It's huge. We talk about making more money. When two great people get together that's what they do. Unless they're stupid. Little known fact. His closest friends call him 'Hef' and he loves it. Hef loves me.

[Princess Turandot]

110. Mr. Trump re: Outer Space: I've heard it said that many of your ideas come straight from Uranus...

If you are elected president, will you fund a manned expedition there for even more inspiration?

Thank you.

[lovemydog]

112. No. I'd offer you a job

with media relations.

[Alkene]

111. Mr. Trump, tell me

who's on first
and
who wrote the Book Of Love?

[lovemydog]

113. Me.