Reply #150: But do most people plan for these types of things? [View All]

[BronxBoy]

I agree that having a written document is the crux of the problem here. But what happens when people don't do this and this situation occurs? In the Black community, the people I know barely plan for funeral arrangements in advance or wills let alone living wills. I've talked to some of my family members about making wills and such and I gotta be honest, it's like pulling teeth. So I actually think that Terri's situation in terms of not having a written directive is probably the norm in the country. What's not the norm is that this situation, which from many of the posts I've read here, has moved from a deeply personal decision decided by loving caregivers into one that has been exploited over and over and over by many people, including some people who when faced with the same situation, made the same decision as Micheal. You just have to shake your head.

If anything good is going to come out of this situation. It's maybe that people will take this opportunity to make sure that their wishes are known. I know my wife and I are doing so and maybe other people will as well.

As far as the parents being at the funeral, I don't know. I understand what you were saying about if Terri were your Daughter and you weren't sure that she said she wanted to die. But there is another situation that is equally valid. My wife and I love each other very much and she lives daily with a life threatening illness. If she were to end up in Terri's situation and she had made it clear to me that she didn't want live that way, I would take the course that Michael has. Only if my in-laws had behaved like that, I would have had no problem rounding up a few of the boys and beating the everloving shit out of them and their circus freaks.

People are quick to point that he has not a Saint. You're right he's not. He's a person with feelings and emotions. He's practically been called a murderer by some of the most powerful people in this country, including the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. And this was precipated and egged on by his in-laws. And now this man, whom all his critics said is not perfect and not saintly, is now supposed to put all the rancor behind him and reach out with humble and loving arms to his in-laws. I'd be hurt and wouldn't want anything to do with them either.

And lastly, maybe he should try to make amends and do the "Christian" thing. But it's funny that the very people who are saying the he's being a jerk by not wanting his in-laws, are not challenging the parents at all. I mean wouldn't it be "saintly" of them to reach out to Micheal and say " Terri's gone. We disagreed on what our course of action should have been. Bad things were said between us. But let's put that behind us and come together in the spirit of Terri's memory"

Think that's gonna happen. From what I've seen of them, they'd rather talk christian than be christian.