Reply #7: They're going to have to choose a combination [View All]

[jmowreader]

Even better than the fact that they spent 20 years studying the problem (which is that the deer have no predators because there is no deer hunting around Camp David and they've managed to kill off all the nonhuman predators) is that they're going to wait another 18 months to choose a strategy.

The strategy that will work: contraceptives, coyotes and hunting. They're going to have to hunt first because using coyotes alone means using a LOT of coyotes, and when you have that many coyotes, some of 'em are going to get bored with venison and start going down into town to dine on poodles. They can't use hunting alone because humans can't be trusted not to shoot all the deer. Contraceptives alone won't work because they do nothing to affect the currently-standing population, only the unborn deer, and the currently-standing population is stripping all of the bushes bare.

(There is a fourth strategy: live capture. Just capture half the deer population, box them up, ship them to Crawford, Texas, and let them clear the brush from Bush's pig farm. They'll do a better job than Dubya ever could, and they'd give him the time to do the duties 59 million people voted for him to do. This will never happen for one simple reason: if they send deer to Dubya's "ranch," the deer will take away the only thing Bush does well.)