Reply #57: The majority of my family are FREEPS -- story for ya. . . [View All]

[Beam Me Up]

Born-again FREEPN' fundies. How or why I was born into that family--and how I managed to escape (I'm gay, live in California)--is a story that may never be told. But here is just one little episode for you:

My dad had taught me to shoot from the time I was six or seven years old. I was a pretty good shot, and so was he. One Sunday day when I was about nine or ten the old man and I had been target practicing with the .22. All of a sudden for some reason he said to me, "BOY how about you go over there and stand on that stump, put the tin can on yer head and let me see if'n I can SHOOT IT OFF." Taking the DARE, I marched over to the stump, put the tin can on my head and stood REAL STILL. My dad took aim and for a brief moment in eternity we stared each other down. Finally there was a crack, zip and PING--and the tin can flew off my head. I almost fainted--knowing from that moment that I could NEVER trust my father in anything ever again.

Many years later on the occasion of his 85th birthday, the old man laid his great heavy paws on me with big tears in his eyes and said: "Son, I just want you to know, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE." I looked him right in the eye and said, well, dad, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU MISSED.

Is it any damn wonder I want to get BEAMED UP off this god forsaken planet!