Reply #57: I think, as others have said, that one's ability to process the feelings [View All]

[DARE to HOPE]

...is KEY.

Our experience with this issue was in our parish. The wife was devastated when the daughter came forward. I told her, to find the truth of things, she should approach her husband's previous family and ask the grown daughters about their own experience.

The whole thing blew up as the truth emerged, leading to divorce and geographical relocations. We ended up with the perpetrator, which made me CRAZY as the church's resident "feminist."

However, my husband was able, over time, to get this man to the level of feeling his own childhood pain, of remembering what had happened to him. This enabled him to approach his victims/daughters and seek forgiveness, or at least, express remorse. He has remarried, a woman much more "in charge" of their lives, with eyes wide open, and is now at the age where perhaps sexuality is waning.

I think of Paul Bonacci and others who have emerged from the MK-ULTRA program--are we saying that there is no hope for any of these? I do think that integrating one's consciousness, and learning about the pain you are giving others, as men are experiencing in some of the therapy involving wife beating, is the only "cure."