Reply #13: Pathological codependency often claims children as victims. [View All]

[TahitiNut]

All the indicators are there. It's reported that Terri was overweight as a child. This often comes from having to 'stuff' one's own feelings in a family where the child's feelings don't count. It's reported that she resorted to bulemia. This is about control - taking control from domineering parents who insist "you'll eat what I tell you to eat" but even more abou purging those 'stuffed' feelings. It's reported that, away from her family, Terri expressed her own preferences - almost all of which demonstrated autonomy from her family. Small apartment - no room for her parents to stay. A vocation totally sepearate from anything her family was involved in. A favorite car (a T-roof Trans-Am) that was anything but a 'family car' and more like a 'getaway car.' Etc.

As a potted plant, Terri became the "perfect child" for her parents: one who's totally incapapble of 'disappointing' them.

Welcome to the Bates Motel.