Reply #22: sometimes things don't go your way. . .bry [View All]

[Hamlette]

"If my kids gonna drink and I'm against it, he doesn't go to a party, period. He'll stay at home until he realizes how serious I am about this."

A friend of mine's father was like that. When her brother was 14 he ran away. He made contact with the family again over 20 years later when he was dying of a rare blood disease. He lived a few weeks after he made contact. Broke everyone's heart and turned everyone against the father. My friend is still bitter about what her father did even though the father died and another 20 years have gone by.

If your child doesn't realize how "serious" you are about something by then, you have already failed...to teach them correctly and to earn their respect.

We handled parties like that differently. If they happened at our house, we did not buy the booze and told them we didn't want to know about it, for legal reasons, we asked the kids to police it themselves, but we kept a pretty close eye on things. If we percieved anyone was drunk, we made sure he or she left, with a sober driver or in a cab. Oh, and if that kid showed up to a party again where we suspected there might be drinking (at a certain age, there always was drinking) we said the kid had to leave.

Don't buy anyone but your own kid booze (unless perhaps you know the parents and tell them "we serve wine with dinner, no more than a glass, is that okay?") until they are of age.