Reply #25: Men who don't want babies [View All]

[Tansy_Gold]

shouldn't have sex. Period.

That's what women have been told by the pro-life team for ages. If you have sex and get pregnant, tough. It's yours. You're stuck with it. Even in cases of rape, incest, threats to the mother's health and sanity and life and livelihood -- more often than not in this day and age and in this political climate, the fetal rights should come first, the father's rights second, and the woman is a distant third tier claimant on any rights that might be left over. In other words, she's just a brainless vessel for maturing a fertilized egg.

When a man has sex with a woman, he should know that unless he has had a vasectomy, there is a chance she will become pregnant. And she is the only one who can. that pregnancy may kill her -- it won't kill him. that pregnancy may maim her for life -- it won't hurt him.

the risks the man takes are emotional -- gee, what if she gets pregnant and decides to abort and I don't want her to? -- and financial -- gee, what if she gets pregnant and decides to sue me for child support?

even if he accepts the burden of those emotional risks, can they compare to the similar risks the woman faces? That zygote/embryo/fetus/baby is PART OF HER. she has nourished it with her blood. it is inside her. it is not some abstract little bit of a haploid sperm cell jettisoned in a moment of . . . . whatever.

child support payments rarely cover the full cost of raising a child. Again, there's the issue of emotional burden, physical burden. A man writes out a check and it's over and done with; the woman is left with the day to day burden, the taking off work and sitting up nights when the kid is sick or not taking off work and missing the school play and dealing with the guilt.

i'm sorry, guys, but when you mess around, you gotta pay the piper, and in this case the woman has (IMHO) 99% of the responsibility and 100% of the rights. she is first in line, the baby is second and you, sorry, are third. Don't like it? then don't have sex.

You don't want to risk that she'll abort "your" child? Then don't have sex with her. You don't want to risk that any woman might abort "your" child? Then don't have sex. You want to have it without any risks to you, but you don't want to take responsibility for the risks that are hers no matter what.

The idea of late-term abortiobn bothers me, and I admit it. But the idea of denying women control over their own most personal possession -- their bodies -- bothers me one fucking hell of a lot more.

Tansy Gold, militant radical feminist and savage pro-choicer