Reply #163: See post #108 [View All]

[Tansy_Gold]

Most women who consciously and responsibly don't want babies don't have sex or they take serious steps to avoid pregnancy: contraceptives, sterilization, etc. If they do become pregnant, they frequently abort.

But there are many women who do not have that choice, at least nowhere near to the extent that men do. Many women are in quasi-permanent relationships for economic reasons. Many women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy are young girls who have been raped by older men, their brothers, their stepfathers.

This discussion, however, is about men who believe that they should be able to have sex at their pleasure and then, again at their pleasure, decide after the fact whether or not to be responsible for the results.

Child support isn't a one-way responsibility. what the non-custodial parent pays is usually far less than what it costs to raise the child, and it certainly has nothing to do with the time and emotional commitment. What you are looking for is sex without risk, sex without pain. I'm not saying women shouldn't seriously consider their actions, but far more often they don't have that option. The man ALWAYS has the option, because he can't ever get pregnant.

It's like one other poster here said, if you want to make sure she's not under age, don't have sex with her.

the woman has the risks of pregnancy no matter what. she has the risk of the abortion. she has the risk of the delivery. she has the risk of the parenting. Yes, I think women should only have sex responsibly, whether they want children or not. But once the pregnancy exists, it's hers, and hers alone. She can't share it with him, she can't push any of the risks off on him. Why should he be able to wipe his hands of any and all responsibility just because, "Oh, i don't think i want to be a father. I changed my mind."

None of the discussion has even touched on the men who mislead women into promising they'll take care of them "if anything happens." And I don't even want to hear about the NBA groupies; we're not talking about them -- as if those NBA players were being held down and raped at gunpoint for child support, yeah, right, GMAFB. I'm talking about your ordinary guy, your ordinary run-of-the-mill DU poster, who thinks he should be able to have sex without any kind of risk or responsibility.

the whole issue seems to be what's *fair* for the men. Well, sorry, but pregnancy has never been "fair" for women.