Southern misconceptions thread [View All]

[Dob Bole]

I sometimes wonder what some DUers are smoking (you don't have to tell me) when they spout out all their misconceptions about the South, so I'm going to put them to rest.

1. Since 1% of the wealthiest Southerners owned slaves in 1850, all Southerners in 2003 are racist and we don't need them. (This is quite obviously false.)

2. If we win New Hampshire in 2004, we don't need Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, or Georgia, even though there is a Democratic majority present. (Actually, redistricting benefited Republicans, so we will need more than one more state next time.)

3. The Democratic Majority in the South is just like Zell Miller PLUS they're racist and we don't need them.

4. The South has always been so Republican that there's just no hope for us and we don't need them. (Actually, no Republican ever substantially won the whole South until the Reagan landslide in 1984.)

5. The South is poor and stupid and mean and we don't need them. (Good to know that liberals suddenly only need rich and powerful voters.)

6. I watched Gone with the Wind and Roots. That's just like real life, right? (uh, no)

7. I saw President Bush. All Southerners are like him! (He is from Maine, but that's irrelevant since west Texas is not Southern.)

8. I saw Sean Hannity on TV. Isn't he from Alabama? (No, the Californians exiled him.)

9. Those damn Southerners are so racist that they racist racist racist into the racist mother racist sons of racists. And we don't need racists like those racists who should go to racist hell, racist pigs! (And WHERE did the Civil Rights Movement begin?)

10. Honkies are evil!!! (Even if you wanted to write off all honkies, you could get out the black vote and still accidentally win Southern States.)