Reply #55: In defense of sharing old hurts. [View All]

[FreedomFry]

I was going to go into some detail, like the stepfather who physically abused me, being abandoned for 4 years from the ages of 4-9, living with strangers in a blue-collar neighborhood and being regularly ganged up on by all the kids for being unwanted, and the "friend of the family" who tried to molest me in a lonely part of the park. It's no wonder many of us regard children as generally shitty, and adults just shitty kids with muscles.

And that doesn't begin to cover all the memories I have of the cruelty I've seen to animals and weaker people -- those are even worse than what happened to me, and a good reason why I read myself comatose every night with 19th-century English novels, otherwise I'll just lie there and call up old horrors whether I want to or not.

But what I *really* wanted to say was that both of you are dear to me just for opening up and sharing. I like to think that those of us who had lousy childhoods may have a deeper awareness of what human beings can do to each other and to other living creatures -- and perhaps a correspondingly deeper awareness of what it means to be kind and thoughtful toward each other. I only know that many, many times during my childhood, I said the words, "When I grow up and have children, I'm NEVER going to ..." And my only child is the kindest, most sensitive, loving and understanding person I've ever known. I don't congratulate myself for that, but I do know I've instilled in him the satisfaction inherent in living by the Golden Rule.

Bear-hugs to both of you and to everyone here who called up old hurts to share them with us.