Reply #6: Kiss It Darlin' and watch it turn into a large talleywhacker! [View All]

[Hubert Flottz]

Watch out for lip warts though!

Once upon a time, a young man was walking down the enchanted street minding his own bidness, when to his horror he chanced to meet a very strange man with an even stranger cargo in tow! The strange man was toting not one, but two 5 gallon buckets of what looked to the young man to be a mass of bloody squidlike things!

Shocked by the contents of those two large buckets of nasty goop, the young man had to ask, "Sir, what the f is that?"

The strange man stated that, "Why these are pe?ers that I have gone round to all the funeral homes in town and collected! I'm a leather craftsperson and I use these to make various leather goods out of, after processing and tanning them!"

Shocked, the young man said, "If you'd give me your business address, I'd like to come and see what you make out of this batch!" So, the strange man gave the guy his addy and told him, "Come over in about two weeks and take a look then!"

Two weeks later the young man showed up a door with a sign on it that said, "P. Beater, Leather Goods." He walked in the door and sure enough he came face to face with the strange fellow he'd met two weeks ago on the street! The young man said, "I don't know if you remember me or not, but I spoke with you on the street two weeks ago about the contents of your bloody buckets! At that time, you invited me to come and see what you were going to make out of those 10 gallons of talleywhackers, so I'm here to see for myself!"

The strange man reached behind the counter and pulled out a beautiful handmade leather wallet and said, "Well, this is what I was able to make out of the batch you saw that morning!"

The young man asked, "Is this all you were able to make out of the entire ten gallon, it's rather less than I expected!" The Strange man replied, "Rub it, it turns into a suitcase!"