Reply #61: I agree with your thoughts that hand flapping is not [View All]

[phylny]

necessarily a sign of autism, but I disagree that the inlaws need to back off. Please understand this isn't meant to be a criticism of your viewpoint, but I see another side to this every day.

It sounds like the inlaws adore him (and I hope this is the case) and I wish I had more inlaws, friends, aunts, uncles, etc. bringing up concerns about development rather than less.

There is a chance that they've caused unnecessary stress by voicing their concerns, but I've seen a LOT of parents who act as though everything is fine when it's not (and this is not directed at the parent in this thread).

I cannot tell you how many times parents say to me, "I know he's not saying a lot of words by himself, or really answering questions yet, and I know that some noises really bother him and that he likes to twirl around, but Johnny is so smart! He remembers every line from the Spongebob movie, and he's reading already, he can count to 20, and he knows everything there is to know about cars. He adores cars! It's all he'll play with, and he can tell me every part, color and even the make and model of some cars."

And hearing things like this, I can't tell you how many times I've said to parents, "You know, I think you should speak to the pediatrician to rule out factors that may be impacting his speech and language abilities." It's my way of legally raising a caution flag.

Even after seeing behaviors that are not typical, many parents do not follow through (mainly due to fear, I'm sure - and I am sympathetic and understand this to a point - sometimes due to inexperience). But if there's something going on and parents don't see it, thank goodness there can be others in the family who are brave enough to speak up.