Reply #8: Smirk: So I told Jebbie there is too a Santa and I'll prove it [View All]

[AlGore-08.com]

So I called up the Pentagon and asked for a few dozen of them landmines laced with spent urainium and buried them around the various chimneys here in the White House. See, my thinking was that the blood trail might not be enough to track Santa, and the residual radiation in his gaping wounds could be tracked with a geiger counter or something. Gosh, it just bugs me when everybody calls me a moron, because a moron wouldn't have known that their were such things as geiger counters, let alone what you use 'em for. Anyhoo, I totally forgot to tell Pickles about the landmines - - and I didn't forget on purpose, no matter what incriminating memos 'n stuff that stupid leaker faxes you guys from the Vice President's private fax machine - - gosh, I wish we could catch that leaker guy, he's such a pain. Not that Pickles actually blew up or anything - - at least that would have been totally cool to watch - - she just got a little frightened by the noise and the mushroom cloud, the big baby. So that's why she filed for divorce this morning. Some people have no f*ckin' sense of humor, ya know? So as a result of all this, I'm announcing the new name of the White House is "Party Harty Central", and the fine folks Hooters will be here this afternoon to officially redecorate the joint in their own image, not that I'm cleaning up on the deal. And the bestest part of making this armpit a Hooters is that Condi and Rummy here will be the waitresses. Now, any questions?