5 Things about Texas that seem wrong yet work so well for some reason [View All]

[Taverner]

1 - AC and Baseball. This should not be good. This should make every real baseball fan scream in protest, and launch small pellet fire at the Minute Maid/Enron Stadium that hosts the Astros. That is, until you walk in from 95 degree gulf coast heat into 70 degree AC bliss. I think Kevin Smith summed it up best when he said (through his character Azrael) "Central Air...nothing more deadent!"

2 - Frontage road exits. Yes, in Texas they don't have the California Hairpin Exit. And at first this was maddening - to get to something you sometimes have to go over the freeway, and back around, then back down the same frontage you were on. But in hindsight, you can always avoid traffic by just taking the frontage. Plue the overpasses give great shady cover for the many sad luck stories of the Bush Governorship.

3 - Texas women. Yes theyre beautiful and have big hair. All are over 6 foot tall, and theyre ALL BLONDE. This is so terrible. So wrong. Yes...so wrong that I'm going to feel shameful the next time I'm at that strip club on Westheimer...

4 - W Stickers on the backs of cars. Yes, they have more of those than I have ever seen before, but the look of the Republicans feeling ashamed after Bush's piss poor performance after Katrina was PRICELESS. I even saw some taking theirs off, with a razor blade. You just had to be there.

5 - Gulf Coast Heat and Humidity. Normally, I like cool California evenings in my Prius, after a dinner with a Sonoma Pinot or Cab, followed by some reading of Darwin, Marx and/or Engels. But something about sitting around in 95+ heat with humidity, while drinking margaritas outside in a bar shaped like a boat (or was it a boat shaped like a bar) just worked.