Reply #86: A beautiful but tough thread [View All]

[Ellen Forradalom]

I just had to let go of someone. We both loved each other very much.

We met and loved as teenagers in 1980. We were going to get married, the works, then he abruptly broke it off. I was devastated, but went off to college that fall and went on to live my life.

After a long search through the 90s he found me a few years back. Then I got back in touch with him a couple years ago because he's an expert on a technology I was using. We began to chat. It was as if I went into the kitchen to grab another beer, came back 22 years later and picked up where we left off.

We finally met in person for one beautiful week, but because of distance and our commitments at middle age we agreed that there was absolutely nothing to be done about it. After a year and a half of daily chats we no longer speak. I feel as if my arm had just been ripped off my body.

Because of this experience, I know there must be someone out there just as special who can be wholly available to me. Still, I can't describe how much it hurts to lose someone you love just as intensely at 42 as at 18. If it's real, it doesn't ever die. We both learned this.