Reply #118: Honestly, I think you should start with a little retail therapy... [View All]

[hholli11]

and then, you should talk to the other woman. She might not even know about you. If I were dating a guy and he called me 220 times in a month, I certainly wouldn't think he was married. Your husband's apology seems to be a lame attempt for him to at least conceal you from her, by just apologizing profusely. I have a bit of experience in this matter. I was once 'the other' woman. Here is my story:

I met Bruce in the fall of 2002. It was magic. In. An. Instant. And we were practically inseperable from the get go.

He called me. A lot. I called him. A lot. He told me he wanted to love me forever, the whole nine yards. I said the same things back. He met members of my family, and would speak to them on the phone too, along with my friends.

I would have sworn on the Democratic Party, my country, my life, and my pretty blue eyes that this was indeed my soul mate. And I can't express this enough: I had no idea this was a married man.

He lived about 45 minutes away, and would always come to me (I live in baltimore). It was not until Christmas Day 2003 that I found out he was married, AND had a daughter. He SWORE to me that the reason he didn't tell me is because he was in the process of getting a divorce. He used his continual contact with me as a reason to subtantiate his claim, and I believed him, because I loved him.

He began having me over his house as further proof that he was really a separated guy. There was remnant girly stuff, a flower picture on the wall and the like, not female STUFF, ya know? shampoos, hairbrushes, clothes, nothing like that at all. Besides that, at that point, I was over too often. No woman was living there, and certainly not with the frequency of his contact.

When his house went on the market, he used that as proof he was indeed, getting a divorce. We even looked for houses together!!! When I found out I was pregnant, he proposed. I was overjoyed. He had an answer for everything. EV-er-y-thing. His marriage was a rouse for her grandmother, and they agreed to stay out of each other's lives until she died, and then they would seek a divorce. The grandmother died, and now the divorce was being had, and you have to be separated for a year, yadda, yadda, yadda.

After the house sold, and it was moving day, he called me at 6:30 (He usually called me every morning when he first got to work to tell me that he loved me. He would say that he wanted to be the first one to talk to me everyday, and ususally was) and told me that he was fired. He then said that he was going to demand a letter of recommendation (huh?). I somehow knew then that the jig was up, and I had been lied to for a very long time.

I wasted absolutely no time and called his landline, only to hear a lady pick up the phone. It was his wife Jean. I told her who I was, and she was indeed surprised. Turns out she had moved to upstate NY in order to try and re-establish them closer to their respective hometowns. It was while she was doing that that he pursued me. She then said that he had done this before, when they lived in NC (apprarently they have skipped all over the country for her career at a department store) and that she didn't care as long as this whole thing 'fades into the woodwork', and SHE doesn't have to be embarrassed about it. She said that 'her family' (meaning Bruce) would not give one dime to support our child, that she would do everything she could to 'hide her assets' (huh?) and that I would never see him again. I was shocked. I told her that one cannot erase a baby

That's when the the provebial shit hit the actual fan.

It goes on, but understand, she might not know about you.

I cerainly didn't know about Jean.