Reply #31: I finally got fed up and just started saying no [View All]

[China_cat]

to anything my family asked and told them that they were the one who had to explain to whoever they volunteered my services to just why it wouldn't be happening.

The only ones I don't turn down...and who have never asked me to do something for somebody else (unless it was for a gift)...are the kids. They've always been straight up with me.

I don't think of it as 'sneaky'...just as getting carried away with the enthusiasm of the moment, a desire to help whatever they're involved in, a chance to shine by reflection of a family member's accomplishments (even when you have your own, you can't help but be proud of a sibling's abilities and want to show them off to others) and a true belief that family will be happy to honor requests without even thinking about the fact that what they're asking might be an imposition.

Think about it. You don't want to disappoint your brother, you don't want to charge him but you'd show any other customer the door. He knows this but I don't for a minute think it's deliberate or calculated. Just one of those things that happen when family members are close.