Reply #3: Does he live in your house? [View All]

[skater314159]

Or in your apartment complex? I'm kind of confused from your OP - but how does he end up in your house to drink your beer each day? I'd try not answering the door or the phone (if your living arrangments allow this) when he calls to give yourself some space and to show him that your space belongs to you guys, and that while he is welcome, he can't just come and go as he pleases.

I agree with AZDem that if the booze dries up, he may move on to wetter pastures. If he brings his own booze, that would only help the sitation (not solve it, but it would be an imrovement, eh?) and you could then try to set another boundary.

It sounds like your friend doesn't really have good boundaries - he probably came from a messed up home - which isn't his fault. What you can do help him to learn about boundaries by setting some - starting with the booze. Then you can set a boundary about what nights of the week he can come over. You might want to follow that up with one where if you and your husband ask him to leave, so that you two can be alone with each other, he needs to leave.