Reply #1: Spiders.... [View All]

[Betty88]

Ok so a little back story. First you have to understand that as a small child I lived for a few years in Ireland with my grandparents and an uncle (the youngest of my moms siblings.) My uncle, who I love dearly, thought it would be funny to chase me with live spiders and frogs, every once in a while he would drop one on my dinner plate. Oh yeah good times. As a result some 40 years later I have a completely irrational fear of all bugs. My frog fear has yet to be tested as I live in Brooklyn, an area not known as a hot bed for frog activity.

So anyway about 5 years ago my grandmother passed away. I traveled to Ireland with my mom. My job, drive the car and take care of mom. We were staying in my grandmothers cottage. Think of all those pictures you have seen of the little cottage in the Irish hills, that's grandma's place. There were always spiders in the house, but when someone was living in it they were kept under control. Grandma had been in the hospital for a few months so no one was around to keep them out and since it had been getting colder I guess they were all looking for a nice place to live out the winter.

We arrived just in time to drop off our bags and get to the funeral home. The next two days a blur of activity, I think I managed to sleep an hour or two here and there. We did not spend much time in the cottage and the few spiders I did see I managed to blank out, "be strong, its harmless, your bigger etc." this was my silent prayer to myself and any god that would listen.

Well on the third night, after having put grandma to rest, we went home started a fire, made some tea and just sat down. It was over and I could finally start to feel something. As we chatted in the kitchen I noticed a nice large spider on the wall. I had a tiny fit and asked uncle Jimmy to take it away. Uncle Jimmy is a good man, not the chaser. He took it into the bathroom to flush it and thinking it would be funny said it was to big to go down the toilet. As he is laughing, mom is giggling at my discomfort, another spider runs across the floor.

Ok so now we have a problem. I jump up on my chair in an age old girl like attempt to protect myself. I make the mistake of turning my head and look out the door that leads to the living room. A *&^%ing horde of spiders is running about the room like they own the place. All harmless garden spiders but these guys have very long legs and they stand 2 or 3 inches high. At this point I loose my mind. My mother and uncle are ROTFLTAO. I run, grab my shoes and bag and make for the door. My mom, through her tears of laughter says "where do you think you are going?"

Me.. "Aunt Alison's house. If she will not take me in I have a credit card and there is a hotel in the village." I ran to the car, fighting the feeling of a thousand little legs crawling on my skin, and hoping that a spider will not pick this very minuet to appear on the windshield of the car as I'm sure I will end up in the ditch.

I make it down to my aunts house in record time. She has a smile on her face and a glass of whiskey in her hand. My uncle, the evil one, is in tears having just gotten off the phone with my mother. "It's your fault I left my mother to die in that house full of spiders, you bastard" I told him with as much bravado as a woman who just ran from a bug could muster, then I had another drink.