Talking to 6-year-old about September 11th - backlash from teacher: [View All]

[rbnyc]

So, my 6-year-old son is obsessed with World War II and the military in general. Being conscious that we were near the anniversary of Pearl Harbor last night, he asked me if Pearl Harbor was the last time anyone ever attacked our country. I said no. He asked me when the last time someone attacked us was.

I’ll pause here. He is only 6. He’s always been very curious, asks a lot of questions and gets some concepts that his peers either don’t understand or haven’t been given the opportunity to understand, mostly in the subjects of math, science and history. He also has had some trouble fitting in at school. He seems to get along with kids, he has friends, and seems to be very popular at parties. But he has had some impulse control issues and trouble following rules and routines. He’s been evaluated many times. He’s not diagnosable. I’m sure he’s not neurotypical. But all that’s been measurably shown is high IQ and some borderline sensory integration issues. Our impression has been that he is different and challenging and that many teachers don’t like working with him.

So, back to his question: I feel that if Garrison asks a question, even if it’s about sex, war, crime, politics or other “adult” topics, I should answer him honestly. I try to use language he will understand, and explain in a basic and uncomplicated way, as much as possible. But I answer him. So I told him about September 11th. I told him that a group of people who were angry at America hijacked airplanes and used them as weapons. I told him that 2 of those planes crashed into 2 buildings in New York where daddy used to work. I told him that mommy and daddy weren’t at work that day, that we were home in our old apartment in Brooklyn, but we could see the buildings fall and burn across the river. I told him that 3,000 people were killed. He asked what country attacked us. I said it wasn’t a country. It was a group of people called Al-Qaeda. He asked me why they were mad at us. I told him that sometimes countries sharing the same planet don’t think about how their actions affect others and get mad at each other. He asked me if we declared war on Al-Qaeda. I said that in a way we did, but that since they are not a country, it’s been a hard thing for us to do and a lot of innocent people have died, which always happens when there’s war. That’s why mommy wishes we would find other ways to solve our problems.

He was satisfied with all this.

Tonight I got a call from his teacher. Today, during his journal time in which he is permitted to write and draw about whatever he wants, he drew a picture of airplanes crashing into building in New York. She asked what he was drawing and he told her it was Al-Qaeda attacking New York City on September 11th. She said that other kids heard him and wanted to know what Al-Qaeda was. She said she was very distressed about the situation and wanted to know if I had been teaching him about Al-Qaeda. I described the scene pretty much exactly as I have above, and added that I was planning to look into resources about talking about September 11th with children in anticipation of further questions.

She really did imply that I had made a mistake and that he was too young to be learning about this, but was glad I was seeking some “expert guidance.” I told her I was glad she called, and that she should never hesitate to communicate with me if she ever has any concerns about Garrison.

I’m kind of pissed. I think that him asking questions, getting answers and then processing those answers through artwork in his journal is a perfect way learn and grow around these complicated issues. I think that her main concern was being put in a position where a child might ask her a question and she would have to recommend they talk to their mom or dad, and that would create controversy and discomfort. I also think we just live in a culture of fear and she is a prisoner of fear in a system that is paralyzed by fear.

Also, I had the impression that she wasn’t aware that today is Pearl Harbor day. I have no confidence in her and I think Garrison is being censored.

This sucks, because Garrison needs us to trust each other and work together in order for him to get the most out of school and work up to his potential.

Thoughts?