Reply #10: Message from a right winger… [View All]

[breadandwine]

I just received another cryptic message by carrier pigeon from Stella, that right winger from Texas! ---


"Lesson fer Libruls Number 2:

Dang! Dang, dang, dang! It’s me again. Awright Smashmouth. Time ta get on yer armadillo an’ scoot. This here is Stella the TEXAN again from big ole TEXAS, stupid. FerGIT about ‘Bama winni’ all them contests tonight. Texas is Hillry’s firewall and you KNOW how we settle things down here in Texas. An’ o’ course Ohio. You libruls were good at it in yer time but it just goes ta figure that when you came ta cash in yer chips, Ohio would be yer banker… Ta all you ‘Bamaniks, grassroots organizin’ don’t mean NUTHIN’! Grass? Isn’t that what they call marijuana? Nuf said. Ahm gonna lay it on the line again fer all you dumb libruls and THIS time I MEAN BIZNESS. First things first. Nominate Hillry. SHE’S THE ONE YOU NEED. Cuz the GOP needs someone with a rubber band smile and no ideas ‘cept what she got from ‘Bama and her piddling little put-sosha-security-in-a-lockbox type promises to run against so we can take back the REAL hill, CAPITOL Hill, after you LIBRULS stole it. We’re stealin’ it BACK fair an square, donkey face. And MIGHT I ADD she’ll be puttin’ up Carville as the new DNC head. Say goodbye ta the 50 state strategy, cuz you Dermacrits belong confined ta a few coastal states or what I call BANTUSTANS. Nuthin’ like a good quarantine to isolate an outbreak. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE you libruls! I love you ta pieces! Just like Ann Coulter’s votin’ fer Hillry! Now you march ta the votin’ booth RIGHT this minute and vote fer WONDER WOMAN. She can’t lose. Pay no attention to Whitewater, Madison Guaranty, the cattle futures scandal, photos of Hillry smoochin’ it up with Yasser Arafat’s wife, Clinton’s third term, travelgate, Vincent Foster, Bill gettin’ impeached, skirt chasin’ all over the White House, Monicagate 24/7/365 and all the rest of it! Ever hear the expression “Don’t fire till you see the whites of her eyes” --- I mean the whites of THEIR eyes, pumpkin breath? Well fergit it. We Republicans would NEVER go dirty on Hillry! What, you think we’re just waitin’ till she gets the nomination? We LOVE Hillry! We can’t WAIT fer her ta get the Dem nomination! We just love her ta pieces! THAT’S why Rupert Murdoch loves her so much! Pay no attention ta all them LEFTISTS tellin’ yuz that Hillry’s road kill in the fall. Now I been hearin’ yuz callin’ Hillry “Cruella deHill.” Now donchoo TALK that way! Hillry’s the nicest candidate there ever wuz! Race card? Fergit it! Trust a Texan! She never pulled no race card! Cuz McCain’s a geezer an we need somebody really DESPICABLE on the Dermacrit side to bring out all us Death’s Head Republicans ta the polls ta vote! Bama’s a nobody but we got a dossier on Hillry the size o’ Fort Knox, motor mouth. But we would never USE it because WE LOVE HILLRY. Listen ta Ann Coulter. No time ta think! March ta the slaughterhouse RIGHT THIS MINUTE and nominate Hillry! Because: We love Hillry. With Hillry you can’t lose. So vote fer Hillry."

I still haven't figured out what to send back by carrier pigeon....