A question for you all....... [View All]

[eek MD]

First a little background....

I grew up in a small town with very conservative parents. My freshman year of High school i was sent to an all-male catholic boarding high school, as my parents were trying to get me to become a priest. I was a young and stupid kid, not necessarily conservative like my parents were, but i definitely held alot of their beliefs which they raised me with.

There was another guy at this school who was one of my best friends. During my sophomore year, he revealed to me that he was gay. While i didn't do anything physical, i said many hurtful things which were probably just as bad as punching him. He was in tears the last time i spoke with him.

At the end of my sophomore year, i managed to convince my parents i would never be a priest, and they took me out of the boarding school and let me go back to public school.

At the end of high school after i moved away from my parents and into college, i began seeing things through a whole new light. I became an enlightened, tolerant person. Politically i'm 180degrees away from what i was then, and consider myself to be as liberal as most of the others here on DU.

A few weeks ago i picked up my old high school yearbooks and was paging through them. I saw my old friends photo, and am absolutely horrified at the way i treated him, as all of the old memories came back. I make no excuses. I was dumb, hateful, stupid, and said things to him that nobody should ever have to hear, and i am truly sorry for it. I had completely forgotten about it until i saw my old yearbook.

I looked up his name online, and i think that i may have found his address which is now out in California, although, i haven't been able to find a phone number yet. I do get to go out to the general area for work however a couple of times every year, and could stay for an extra weekend after my next week out there.

My question to you all is what should i do 12 years later?
should i stop by my next time out there, and if it is really his address, apologize to him?
should i send a letter, even though i'm not positive if it's to the correct person, and leave a phone number in case he wants to call me back?
or would re-opening old wounds be a bad idea altogether, and leave it being better with him thinking i was just another ignorant conservative asshole? (which at the time i was)

Thanks a bunch for your help, and i hope that you all don't think less of me for past mistakes....