Reply #2: Esteemed Empress [View All]

[finecraft]

Thank you for pointing out what you feel are the error of my ways. But, with all due respect, I must disagree.

Whereas you may see the traditional way to cook a turkey by observing and honoring the sacred bond between a turkey and an oven to be the only way, I on the other hand, believe that as Americans we all are guaranteed the freedom to engage in non-traditional methods of preparing a turkey, should we choose so.

Though my suggested method may seem unconventional to you, I assure you that in no way should you feel that cooking a turkey in a garbage can threatens your fundamental belief that a Thanksgiving turkey should only be cooked in an oven. I, and others like me, that barbecue, fry or cook our turkeys in a trash can, have no intention of pushing our unconventional holiday meal preparation methods onto you, your children, or your grandchildren.

I know what you are thinking, " Oh my God, how do I explain to my children that the neighbor is cooking her turkey in a trashcan?" Might I suggest that you explain to them that the world in made up of many types of people. There are those that hold sacred holiday traditions very dear, and though it may not be their preparation method of first choice, maintain the sacred ritual of cooking their turkeys in the oven. There are others though, that are born with a different spirit...a spirit that finds no joy in cooking their turkeys in an oven, and yearn to find true happiness, and their true self, in preparing their Thanksgiving turkey in a trash can, or a barbecue, or a deep fat fryer.

Cooking intolerance has no place in a society where unconventional meal preparation methods should be looked upon as a celebration of our diversity. I honor your commitment to traditional holiday turkey preparation, and wish you nothing but success. All I ask, is as you look out your kitchen window, and see people like me out in our back yards, huddled around our barbecues, fryers and garbage cans, please don't despise us for our unconventional choices. Celebrate with us our joy in finally acknowledging and accepting that not everyone wants to prepare their turkeys in an oven, and other options are available to us. And finally, please wish us nothing but happiness in our pursuit of our "perfect thanksgiving turkey". :)