Reply #11: Good advice. I can certainly understand her frustration [View All]

[Lorien]

I have the same problem with my big guy Oberon-even when I'm home all day. If I don't give him at least ten minutes of playtime followed by cuddles in the morning and evening then he'll howl and whimper incesantly. Sometimes he lauches himself into my lap too-right when I'm in the middle of a job (not good). I've just resigned myself to the fact that he does take a good bit of time and effort every day-just as a dog does. "Punishment" never works with cats; they aren't pack animals (which use physical force to show one another "who's boss"); all they know is that they're loved one is suddenly attacking them, and it will only escalate matters for the worse. I made the same mistake many years ago when one of my kitties would piss on something of mine right in front of me if he was unhappy about something. I had always owned dogs so I did what a dog owner would do; I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, rubbed his nose in it and said "No"! with a little swat to the behind. It worked temporaily but then things got much worse. It was only after reading up on cat psychology that I learned that spanking and yelling are counterproductive means of altering feline behavior. What IndyOp suggests (a "time out") is the method most agreed on in the books that I've read as well.

Also, you might try a daily ritual when you leave, such as giving him a treat and leaving out a favorite toy, then putting away that toy when you come home. He'll begin to see the treat and toy as a promise that you will return and that this is all part of the routine, even if you aren't leaving at the same time every day.

My neighbor's cat is also very much like Boots. I kittysit him when they're away, and he's a complete mess when they're gone. It's heartbreaking, and I would certainly encourage them to rehome him as well if they were gone much more often than they are. If you can find a home for him with another kitty companion and someone you KNOW will take care of him, then maybe that would be for the best-but just beware of "bundlers". They work for labratories who use cats and dogs for medical experiments, and they are experts at passing themselves off as perfect caretakers. If the person won't let you visit him in the future, then it's best to look elsewhere.