Reply #5: In further news, White House introduces Presidentmobile [View All]

[jmowreader]

Washington, DC (Spurious News Network) -- Just in time for pResident Bush*'s spring college graduation speechifying trips, the White House today introduced the Presidentmobile to a group of Faux News Network and WorldNutDaily reporters.

"We got the idea from Pope John Paul II," said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. "He was one of the most beloved people of his time, and someone shot him. While pResident Bush is even more adored by his countrymen, he's decided to speak at a college that was hit hard by Hurricane Katrina and by the disastrous economic policies of the last administration. To keep someone from mistakenly or accidentally doing harm to our Dear Leader, we've purchased him a vehicle that will provide him with a small amount of protection."

When a traitorous liberal journalist threatened to post to the Internet his album of photos of Scotty screwing farm animals, McClellan came clean: "Actually, the people down there are fucking pissed about Dubya's actions during Katrina, and his national approval rating is rapidly approaching zero. The Secret Service found out that you can buy howitzers at gun shows in Mississippi, so we figured that for the good of the nation we'd better get him a vehicle that can withstand a sustained artillery barrage."