Reply #57: I'm not going to lie to you [View All]

[kdmorris]

It's going to be hard to convince her she's not a piece of shit if she's convinced she is. Society teaches us that our value is ONLY in how much we work, how much we "give back" to society. And right now, society is telling her, through her not being able to get a job, that she is worthless.

The best you can do is try to convince her that it's her depression talking and try to give her hope for the future. But, if you do give her hope, and she's not able to find a job after a Dem becomes president, etc, she may have a major crash.

My husband just told me all the time how wonderful I was, how beautiful I was, how life was so much better because I was with him when I was feeling like she is. It didn't help me believe that I wasn't a piece of shit, but it sure did help to know that there was one person in the world who loved me and thought I was just wonderful, even though I KNEW I wasn't. However, without him telling me these things, without him hugging me and telling me how wonderful I was, I never would have been able to get the job I have now.

After working at this job for 10 years, I don't feel like a piece of shit anymore, because I've accomplished so much. But there are still times that I think "If they ever find out who I REALLY am, they will not like me anymore". But that starts into a completely different subject... "How Poverty Affects You for Life".

The only advice I can give you is to keep being there for her, keep telling her that she's NOT what she and everyone around her thinks she is. It may not help her feel less like shit, but it might just keep her from "giving up" if she knows that there's SOMEONE who would mourn her passing. (Back in the really bad days, before I met my husband, I didn't kill myself because of my kids. I knew I should be strong enough to give them up for adoption, but selfishly, they were the only thing that kept me alive.)