Empathy Domination and the bully [View All]

[undergroundpanther]

"Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don't know
how to ask for it." Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph. D.
http://www.nwcompass.org/empathic_listening.html

So what is interfering with our empathy? The fact we live under a system of domination,Daily we are hurt by misdirected domination,and the toxic personalties and bullies among us.

They say that the language we grow up with prepares us for the society that we are going to live in. Our language of judging, advising, criticizing, manipulating, "shoulding" etc, is one of coercion, control, and domination, of the many by the few in power, creating a hierarchical system, otherwise known as a domination system. The language spoken in such a system is designed to keep us obedient, docile and separate from each other and thereby powerless.

The language we speak reinforces the truth we live in a society dominated and run by bullies.

So people feel
Powerless to stand up and become the kind of culture WE want to be!! We await a leader to give us permission to stand up we have become so accustomed to living in a domination system it has become almost invisible to most people..

From day one we are taught we are to be Powerless to stop the psychopaths narcissists, authoritarians and bullies all around us who are abusing power,trust,organizations, contracts, and people everyday.

WE are taught to believe and therefore act as if we are Powerless to expose all the criminal shit in the government and corporation ,clean out the thugs,and haul all these monsters to prison together.RIGHT NOW.

We are taught to accept things that if thought about would be very unfair like powerless to tell our boss we need a break,for fear of being laid off.. Or powerless to tell a creditor charging 25% interest to fuck off that is usury you corporate pig,For instance?

Domination systems......

Marshall Rosenberg describes a domination system as follows:

"...By systems I mean governments, organizations, institutions that regulate human affairs. In his books, The Powers That Be and Engaging the Powers, theologian Walter Wink talks about domination systems being ones in which a few people control to their own advantage. In domination systems you have to train people to think in ways that support the system, so they fit the system.

Domination systems require:

1 Suppression of self

2 Moralistic judgments

3 Amtssprache (This expression was used by Nazi officials to describe a bureaucratic language that denies choice, with words like: should, have to, ought.)


4 The crucial concept of deserve"

(DU posts have argued over this "deserve" mentality regarding issues of poverty and obesity and a few other topics in the most vicious blaming ways that I'd expect to see out of the right wing)
Why is that? Who deserves? Who's entitled? All? Or all of us who don't use it to abuse the rest of us maybe?

http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/nvc/domination.html
http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/discouragement/words.html


Nonviolent language Works on people who have a conscience what about those who do not have one? They don't respond like you or I.
To a psychopath non violent language is seen as permission to inflict MORE harm to the targeted person!!
With authoritarian,narcissistic and psychopathic personalities you must learn to use the language of domination on them ONLY for they need limits to be IMPOSED on them and their behaviors and words contained by other people like us. For the toxic personality has no limiting force inside themselves (a conscience) that will before,warn them through empathy and shame,and after the fact through remorse shame or guilt tell them that some things are harmful to do to others and wrong..Toxic personalities ARE different than us they lack a conscience, and so must be treated and spoken to asa person who will harm if given freedom to do so.
http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/spath.htm
http://www.bullyeq.com/

How non violence fails with bullies.
http://suicideandmentalhealthassociationinternational.org/overcom.html
http://ticklebug.typepad.com/trials_and_turbulations/2005/02/bullies_suicide.html

In sum, nonviolence only works when your opponent has a **conscience or has lost the will to resort to violence.**
(learned helplessness)
In Burma, Zimbabwe, Tibet, the Darfur region of Sudan and China the authorities have shown that they have no problem with using violence to remain in power. Against an armed opponent who is willing to use violence, one has a choice: fight or die.

http://www.deanesmay.com/posts/1119285037.shtml

http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/nvc/domination.html

“Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.” – John Lennon

Civilized people, we are told, live peacefully and cooperatively with their fellows, sharing the necessary labour in order to obtain the leisure to develop arts and sciences. And while that would be a good idea, it is not a good description of what has been going on in the so-called advanced cultures during the past 8,000 years.

Civilization, as we know it, is largely the creation of psychopaths. All civilizations, our own included, have been based on slavery and “warfare.” Incidentally, the latter term is a euphemism for mass murder

All of this psychopathic behavior at the top of the social hierarchy is simply too shameful for ordinary people to see, so they avert their gaze, just as wives of husbands who are sexually abusing their children sometimes refuse to see what is happening in plain view.
http://dailyscare.com/2961/twilight-of-the-psychopaths
http://www.e-thepeople.org/article/27428/

Privileged people say that community is created through loving one another, through sharing food and doing things together. Many of the disenfranchised have another story to tell. For them, community begins with bathing the world in hatred.

My answer to this intractable situation,begins with,Educating yourself and others about abuse, about psychopathy authoritarians,narcissism, trauma, getting as many people as possible to know the patterns, see the games they play. To learn from those harmed by bullies,To give and accept empathy,learn to not by stand during incidents of abuse be it verbal or physical,to risk standing up, and supporting those who do in every way they need , to defy domination,speak in non violent terms to people with a conscience, and to be humble when you make a mistake,and than build your confidence and start to bathe the psychopath in hatred,bathe the bully in fists, deny these toxic people a target to abuse,And FIGHT, fight until psychopaths cannot get away with ANYTHING... Eventually people who have a conscience will and can rebuild a living empathic and strong boundaries community and heal from the damage done for generations by those without a conscience and their dominance systems.. Bathe the abusers in hatred, limit them, dominate them,cut them down until they can do no more harm, and can't get away with it...



And yes we must heal ourselves by loving those who are not toxic personalities,empathizing back and forth with each other,using non violent speech,respect, letting non harmful people be who they are, supporting the traumatized,learning about psychopathy and domination from their experiences and stories and educating each other and ourselves about domination and bullies .

To do this we must separate conscientious people from the ones with no conscience. Admitting there is a stark DIFFERENCE inside some people's personalities that makes them dangerous to us is the first step.

For as we care for some, we also have to accept and learn to stop caring. We must learn to not care about those with psychopath patterns and behaviors that abuse others.

We together, must contain the psychopathy going on around us in every form it takes.We have to stand up,speak up,share and take no shit.
Shutting down the domination system starts with shutting it down inside our own thinking,and our words, than by helping others shut it down..And the ripples of perceptions will change and we all will become aware and spread what can be. It will flow from us all like pond ripples of thoughts moving through lives until we learn to be free again.

Destruction of a domination system, does not begin by following a leader,that charms us with promises and speeches to end the domination system,when this leader is part of that system and benefits from that system..

Change begins by knowing yourself and knowing what you want and who the enemies of humanity are and hating them with your whole heart,regardless of what anyone still in the domination system says....Anger and hatred have a very specific uses,to free us from tyrants,psychopaths, bullies and domination!!!Rage, anger,and violence, they have a real important purpose,they exist for a reason,yet in the domination system we are taught to deny it suppress it and even demonize it and pretend we do not feel it.. yet we do,and we sit on it.We tolerate too much injustice.


This rage suppression and rage misdirection is a manipulation. It keeps us in denial,fighting each other and helpless to help ourselves or each other be free of psychopathy and psychopaths and the domination system they made..

Eventually we must face the fact either we must become willing to fight to be free of domination, or remain subjects.What kind of trauma will it take to say you have had enough of this shit? Each one of us..Has to ask this question and make our solution.


And the non violent must face the answer they don't want to face,rage violence it has a purpose..We all will have to face it. We can die slaves complicit in our servitude or we can start fighting the domination,and do what it takes to contain these toxic personalities and dismantle the domination systems they made to keep us servile ,obedient and helpless forever.

We must learn and protect each other to save ourselves and each other,from abuses of power and the people who abuse.
Even if it means wiping the authoritarian,narcissist and psychopaths among us off the face of the planet.