Reply #58: There are always exceptions that prove the rule. [View All]

[MADem]

But the OP didn't indicate that the "Gay Hating" theme was part of the issue. Yes, of course that can be a real problem with fundy families.

I always thought the best way for gays to handle hateful parents/relatives, especially if they were Christian and religious, was to send them cards at Christmas and Easter with a deeply religious theme, and "I still love you despite your inability to follow Jesus's teachings about love, and I forgive you, too" type of heartfelt messages enclosed.

The reason for this is two-fold--it gives them an opening to rapproach should they one day, as they eventully will, see the error of their ways, AND it will piss them off ENORMOUSLY in the interim. It's a closeted "fuck you, too" of a sort.

It really is a "two fer." :evilgrin:

We don't have that issue in our home or extended family, mainly because we socialize relentlessly, we talk about each other (generally behind each other's backs) continuously, and no small detail of anyone's life is allowed to go unremarked upon! It's a bit of a pain at times, but it's certainly a loving atmosphere--you know you can always go home, no matter what the issue, because even if you'll be talked about to death, you'll always have a place at the table and a sympathetic ear to bend.

Back when the "coming out" theme was such a big deal and they were doing made for tee vee movies about it, one of our cousins finally "came out" in rather dramatic "I have an announcement to make" fashion at a family gathering. We all laughed at him (kindly, mind you--not in a mean way), and he was greeted with comments like "So, that's supposed to be news?" "No shit, Sherlock!" "Tell us something we don't know!" It was rather like telling us the sky was blue, or grass was green. We all knew, we just didn't feel compelled to pick apart his life in FRONT of him to that point, out of concern for his "personal space" and a fear of causing him any discomfiture!

His friends were all doing it, so he didn't want to be "left out" of the whole movement.