Reply #43: Way too many incest comments. That's fucking sick, you know that? [View All]

[jmowreader]

Go at it from this angle: Your daughter can't be trusted with her sexuality. If it's not owned by God Almighty she might...well, y'know, use it or something. So, we'll have this hueueueuge Purity Ball, at which we will force your daughter to consecrate her maidenhead to God. Later on, when she finds a Godly man of whom her parents approve, God Almighty will allow him (after the requisite exchange of expensive jewelry and recitation of poetry dedicated to God Almighty) to borrow her sexuality from the Big Man Upstairs, but only in the Church Approved Position and only for the purpose of extruding more little Christians.

Now as to the Purity Balls for boys: if the boy is properly imbued in the Holy Spirit, no Purity Ball will be necessary because Christian Boys are only interested in Christian Girls, who've pledged their sexuality to Jesus until the exchange of expensive jewelry and recitation of poetry. So...Christian Boys ain't gettin' any anyway so why bother?

This Purity Ball crap might work on the really little girls, but really little girls have No Hormones so they're not all that interested in having sex anyway. But I look at the two black-gowned girls in the second photo and can't help but imagine they're thinking, "I wonder if I can get laid tonight after this shit's over."

You know, we all needed this thread. After the primary wars, we all needed to be able to come together with an old, familiar thread (DUers who joined us after June 1 last year, this thread is an annual occurrence) on which we could all agree on something...and that "something" is "this Purity Ball shit is fuckin' WACKED, man!"